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A baby cannot manipulate or tease anyone

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Just as it is often said that children get “badly used” to arms, an absolutely ridiculous idea when you understand the basic needs of a baby, along the same lines, many people have been saying for years that babies can manipulate their parents.

It is a widely held belief about the behavior of babies. It is believed that with just months, children can get others to act as they please (usually their parents or the caregiver) simply by crying or complaining. Won’t it be too much for a baby? Babies are very intelligent, but it is impossible for them to manipulate or tease people . We explain why.

“It tries to control you”

Surely on more than one occasion you have heard or received advice that says “Let him cry, nothing is wrong”, “do not do what he asks you, he is trying to control you”, “if you give in, he wins.” Or this kid “knows Latin.”

You may even have heard fathers and mothers explain how clever babies are , who immediately learn to tease their parents: “I leave him in the crib and he starts crying, I pick him up and he shuts up … and if I leave him again, he will cry again … total manipulation. “

The meaning of the word manipulate is to do something interestedly to achieve a certain end, something that a baby, scientifically and physiologically, cannot do.

But no, it is scientifically impossible

You have to understand that a baby is a human being that was born weeks or months ago and has not yet the maturity necessary for such a complex brain mechanism.

It is a matter of common sense. It is enough to know that a baby is not capable of knowing the consequences of his actions to realize that it is impossible . A baby does not know that if he does A, then comes B. If he knew, he would be a rational being, and he is not yet.

A baby does not know that he can manipulate the people around him, firstly because he does not know what manipulation is and secondly because he is incapable of pretending or acting to get what he wants . In order to do that, he needs to be able to think logically, knowing that if he cries he will get his parents to listen to him and that, from then on, he will start to control them a little more, and so on more and more, until he comes to power. .

Babies have no logical thinking

In order to control adults, babies need their rational brain to function , but their immature brain is not yet sufficiently prepared. In fact, your frontal lobes, which are part of the rational brain, have only just begun to develop.

The consequence of this is that babies do not have logical thinking , and since they do not, it is impossible for them to think about manipulating their parents, or other people, or teasing anyone. Your brain is not trained to draw up Machiavellian plans. They have enough with trying to calm what makes them feel bad at that moment.

When do they begin to reason? The development of logical thinking in children, according to Piaget, has a sensory-motor phase, ranging from birth to two years, in which innate reflexes and senses predominate; and then a preoperational phase begins that lasts up to six years, in which they are able to draw their own conclusions based on simple, everyday problems.

After 12 months, they can make some simple rational deductions, but they are very basic mechanisms related to physical logic (I throw this and it falls to the ground), and then they acquire social logic, since this requires greater brain maturation and a high level of abstraction that they will acquire over time.

It is only after the use of language, abstract thinking, and other abilities appear that their rational brain begins to develop, around the age of four. This will allow you to gradually begin to apply logic , planning, reasoning, evaluation, thinking, learning more complex rational concepts.

Baby’s basic needs

When the baby cries or demands our attention, it is a totally primary behavior related to the survival instinct. He is simply hungry, he cries; is hot or cold, cries; feels unprotected, cries. No kinks. He does not do it with a premeditated intention, he is unable to anticipate , it is the only mechanism that babies have to ask for help, until they learn to speak and can tell you.

They do not think that “I’m going to cry to see if they take me in their arms”, or “I’m going to cry to see if they cover me with a little teddy bear blanket”. They cry because they feel unpleasant things, because they are not comfortable, and see if with the “buaaaa” it turns out that whoever comes is right and takes away that annoyance.

The physiological needs of the baby are very different from those of the adult (it could be said that they are more primitive), since there is less regulation and waiting capacity. Therefore, until about two years of age, children will not understand the concept of “waiting” and their needs must be met immediately .

With all this, you can better understand why a baby of a few months can not manipulate or tease anyone .

In Babies and more | This is how children’s brains work: tips from an expert to promote their development

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