Motherhood is an experience like no other. I cannot say that it is the hardest of all, because I would need to live more than one life to prove it, but what I can say is that breastfeeding is one of the most exhausting things that exist .
There is nothing that has tested my strength, patience and resilience like motherhood has. But also, there is nothing that has made me grow as much as becoming a mother. Because although it can be difficult, it is also wonderful.
Now, as we well know, something that makes motherhood more bearable is having a tribe that accompanies us. But what happens when it is not?
When others say …
I have been a mom blogger for eight years, and as such, I have had the opportunity to connect with many mothers through my blog and social media. In these connections, we have had dozens of honest talks about motherhood and we have understood each other in a way that only between mothers can we do it .
A topic that often comes up is how lonely motherhood can be and the difficulties we have encountered along the way since we had children. Or rather, from before.
And it is that speaking with other mothers, we have agreed that since pregnancy we begin to be questioned about our motherhood . Sometimes these remarks come in the form of seemingly innocent phrases or questions (” are you going to breastfeed him, right?” ) And sometimes they come in the form of unsolicited advice (” when he is born you have to let him cry and not run immediately to comfort him” ).
Personally, I choose to think that most of these comments are well-meaning. However, and remembering those moments when someone told me not to carry my daughter so much, I know that those comments can affect us a lot .
If you receive them while pregnant, totally unnecessary fears and worries are born in you. If you receive them as a new mother or a new mother, you doubt your ability so much that you end up lost in the face of so many opinions, and you come to believe that you are doing something wrong or that you cannot be a “good mother.”
Choosing between the different parenting styles and making decisions about feeding, resting and educating children is something that we ponder a lot and can make us nervous. If to that we add the criticisms of others, being a mother becomes a very hard experience .
Maternity surrounded by people who are constantly giving feedback on your parenting can be really overwhelming and causes us to feel insecure as mothers. Noticing that lack of support from those around us makes us feel alone.
If this is your case, remember this
Anyway, all this I have written is so that those mothers who have found themselves in this situation know that they are not alone. I know it is painful when your own family questions or criticizes your decisions (I have been called exaggerated), but you have to remember this: you are the mother.
It is difficult, but something that has been useful to me, both in motherhood in general, and in those moments in which I doubt my decisions because of the opinions of others, is having someone to turn to to feel that support that has not been given to me. given my surroundings .
Today and thanks to social networks, it is possible to find that mom who thinks like you . This is how I found that friend who is my parenting soul mate, who despite the fact that we are separated by more than 1,300 kilometers by car, I know that with a call or message of support it helps me feel understood and reaffirm that I am doing it. well.
Photo | iStock
In Babies and more | 13 phrases mothers are sick of hearing, have they told you? Yes, I’m lucky to be a stay-at-home mom, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy
