There are times when children are more irritable, and this may be due to external causes or changes in their routine. On the other hand, irritability can also be related to emotional management , and in part, with the temperament and character of each child, if we talk about a more prolonged irritability.
We talk about irritability in childhood: what are its most frequent causes and how to accompany children so that they can properly channel the emotions that are often hidden behind this irritability.
Irritability in children: what does it translate into?
Irritability is defined as a state of hostility, anger or intolerance towards things. It’s not exactly the same as being angry; it is rather, being more susceptible or prone to getting angry or upset.
In this way, children who are irritable can easily get angry or annoyed , as well as lose patience with things that, in a normal state, would not affect them in the same way.
Thus, irritability also encompasses behaviors and emotions such as aggressiveness, anger or rage. In its causes, but, there can also be sadness or frustration, for example.
Causes of irritability
Understanding the cause is important to be able to accompany and better understand our children in this state of irritability. We found different causes that explain irritability in children. Some of the most frequent are:
Conflicts at school or at home
Conflicts can make children more irritable than usual. These conflicts can occur at home, at school… Sometimes children do not explain them, and hence it is difficult for us to understand where that anger comes from.
That is why it is so important to create communication spaces with them where they feel safe to open up, as well as fostering their trust in us.
academic pressure
Academic pressure is another possible cause of irritability. This pressure can come from the school itself and/or from home, or it can arise from themselves (in very self-demanding children, for example).
Depression
One of the main symptoms of childhood depression is irritability , a symptom that is not as common in adults (in adults the main symptom is low or depressed mood).
So, in some cases, irritability (especially if it recurs) can be a warning sign of a more complicated situation, which is going through depression. In these cases it is essential to seek professional help.
Duel
If a loved one has recently died in your environment, or if you have just moved to another city, if there has been some important loss in your child’s life, etc., irritability may also appear in your child, as they are going through a duel.
school change
A change of school is also a situation that generates a significant impact on the lives of children, emotionally, relationally…
Actually, it is another type of grief, as one must face the losses along the way and adapt to a new reality. Thus, a situation of this type can also generate irritability in children.
Low tolerance to frustration
Low tolerance for frustration can also generate a lot of irritability in children, who are not used to channeling these types of emotions. And this, in turn, is closely related to inadequate emotional regulation.
This can be worked from psychology, through self-knowledge, validation of emotions but not all behaviors, teaching and learning alternative behaviors to anger, etc.
Attentional difficulties
Difficulty concentrating can also be a cause of irritability. Why?
Because the fact of not being able to maintain attention for a certain time (for example, the time needed to finish a task), can generate a lot of frustration, or a feeling of loss of control, calls for attention from school… And that generates a impotence which, in turn, can translate into irritability.
developmental changes
There are certain changes in the development of the child that can generate anger and irritability; They are evolutionary and normal changes, which are sometimes difficult to manage.
For example, when they are babies, the fact that their teeth begin to come out , or when they are older, the growth itself, which can cause muscle or joint discomfort.
Later, already in puberty, hormonal changes also have an impact on the psychological well-being and therefore on the emotions of minors, which can translate into stages of more irritability.
Changes in routines
A major change in the child’s routine is also a factor that is related to increased irritability. It is normal for changes to generate stress in children , and that stress they do not know how to manage.
That is why emotional accompaniment is so important and being able to anticipate changes in your routine whenever possible.
medical causes
Suffering from an illness can also generate irritability in children, especially if it is a chronic and/or especially painful illness. Other conditions such as migraines , toothaches, earaches, stomachaches, etc., can also cause irritability.
That is why it is so important to review your health with regular check-ups and follow the appropriate treatment in each case.
How to help them manage irritability?
How to manage that irritability? How to help the little ones to understand it and go through it?
Rule out organic factors
First of all, we must rule out that our child has any type of disease or medical condition that may be related to that irritability.
understand your cause
Another essential step when accompanying our children in moments of irritability is to understand its cause: where does it come from? What causes it? Is there a specific trigger? At what times is this irritability more intense?
Understanding the cause is going to the root, which is a great opportunity to begin to understand how to channel that irritability.
Put words to emotions
It is also important that children learn to put a name to what they feel , without pressure (sometimes they will need a little accompaniment). Putting those emotions into words can help them understand how they feel and how they can deal with such an unpleasant or distressing emotion.
Validate your emotions
It is very important that we validate children’s emotions so that they are not suppressed , even if they result in irritability.
Remember, it is one thing to validate the emotion and another to validate the behavior, which does not have to be validated all the time (instead, we can offer them more appropriate role models for their well-being).
To validate emotions (even unpleasant ones), we can use phrases like “I understand how you feel” or “it’s normal for you to be angry/sad/…”.
Validating children’s emotions will allow them to understand that it is okay to feel this way , that there is nothing wrong with it. That they can go through them without feeling bad, feeling accompanied.
“Like children, emotions heal when they are listened to and validated.”
-Jill Bolte Taylor-
Photos | Cover (freepik), Image 1 (pexels), Image 2 (pexels), Image 3 (pexels)
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