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Pretty best friends

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Created: 7/28/2022 1:57 p.m

In allen vier Ecken soll Liebe drin stecken: Freundschaft verewigte sich früher in Poesiealben.
There should be love in all four corners: friendship used to be immortalized in poetry albums. © Suschaa / Photocase

Not infrequently, a friendship accompanies us longer than the relationship with our life partner. Reason enough to take a closer look at this special form of relationship on International Friendship Day on July 30th.

A friend, a good friend… The older ones remember: This ode to friendship was written in 1930 for the sound film operetta “The Three from the Gas Station”. Since the three main actors Willy Fritsch, Oskar Karlweis and Heinz Rühmann first brought this catchy tune to life, many a person has also tried it.

The interpretation of the vocal ensemble Comedian Harmonists, which can also be seen in the film, made the hit particularly well-known. In the meantime, the beginning of the chorus has taken on the quality of a figure of speech and is often quoted.

Willy Fritsch, Oskar Karlweis and Heinz Rühmann sing about friendship in the operetta “Die Drei von der gas station”. © Imago

About the nature of friendships

The term friendship is not easy to define because it is very complex – even researchers have a hard time with it. A possible definition could be: a voluntary, personal relationship based on mutual sympathy, trust, selflessness and support.

Really good friends are people who know us very well and still stick by us.

Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach, writer (1830-1916)

Harry and Sally, played by Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan in the 1989 film of the same name, is the prime example of a relationship in transition, from purposeful (gas-efficient carpooling to New York City) to casual acquaintance (chance encounters on airports and in the bookstore). They become best friends (joint ventures and muddle through each other’s romantic relationships) and eventually reach friendship plus status (one-night stand when Sally finds out about her ex’s upcoming wedding). A break in transmission is followed by the marriage proposal and then the wedding as the crowning glory – friends become relatives, so to speak.

Incidentally, the terms “friendship” and “relationship” were even used synonymously up until the 17th century.

Strangers become friends become relatives: Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan in Harry and Sally. © Imago

150 friends…

… you can have a maximum. This so-called Dunbar number (named after the psychologist Robin Dunbar) describes the number of people whose names and essential relationships to one another can be known by a single person. – You can read about it on Wikipedia.

Friendship Day

July 30th is meant to commemorate the importance of friendship between people, countries and cultures. In April 2011, the United Nations General Assembly officially declared it International Friendship Day. In doing so, it followed an initiative founded in Paraguay in 1958.

The 25th year of life …

… is considered a kind of turning point: Until then, the circle of friends will increase, after that it will become smaller and smaller. The friendships that remain often develop into a long-term and intimate bond.

11.6 hours…

… on average, singles take time per week to maintain their friendships. As soon as you are no longer alone, the time for friendships decreases rapidly: people living in a relationship still have 8.6 hours, married people only 6.3 hours for their friends. (Source: Statista) 2022

In all four corners…

… should contain love: Who didn’t have one when they were at school: a poetry album or, in more recent years, a friendship book. Filling them in was like a competition: who has the most entries? And who is the most beautiful?

Friendship is like home.

Kurt Tucholsky, author (1890-1935)

Especially in the good old poetry album, in which there weren’t pre-determined questions to be answered, but rather individual handwork. On the one hand, it’s an honor to be asked into as many albums as possible – on the other hand, it’s a challenge to express yourself as personally and creatively as possible.

If you were lucky, you were one of the first to be asked to immortalize yourself – then there was the opportunity to fall back on the good standard: “I rooted myself in the back so that nobody tumbled off the album.” Or you tried Goethe: “Noble be the human being, helpful and good.” Anyone who absolutely couldn’t draw could help out with stickers or glossy pictures. As arduous as the struggle for and with these albums was, it is still nice later to leaf through these memories that have become text and images.

In adulthood, the guest book replaces the poetry album to capture special moments together. And how nice it is to be presented with the guest book of friends you haven’t visited for a long time, to leaf through it and to see your own entry from childhood days again!

Last but not least, an indestructible tip: small gifts keep friendship going.

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