Summer is synonymous with the smell of the sea breeze, skin toasted by the sun, watermelon on the beach, party nights in the town and long afternoons of confessions with friends. Also synonymous with first times: above all, for our adolescent children.
And it is precisely that they are at that age when they begin to dress up and become more flirtatious, to acquire more autonomy, to go out with friends in town, to go to concerts and town parties, to fall in love…
That ‘s why summer for teenagers can be wonderful ; a time that will remain etched in your memory forever. What things can live in these months? How to better understand and accompany them at this stage, leaving them the freedom they need?
Summer for teenagers: that time full of first times
Adolescence comprises the period of growth that occurs after childhood and before adulthood, between the ages of approximately 10 and 19, according to the World Health Organization (WHO).
During these years, a thousand things happen in the lives of our children! However, it is also true that there are times that are more intense than others , due to the context and for multiple reasons. One of these times is summer: especially the first summers as a teenager.
Since the range from 10 to 19 years old is quite wide, here we will focus on the middle years of it; between 13 and 16, approximately. We take an indicative figure to talk about the activities that boys of these ages usually like, and those plans that they are interested in doing during the summer.
Teenage summer in the village
There are many families who decide to spend a few days or weeks in the town in the summer. It is clear that not all teenagers have a town, but those who do have the opportunity to enjoy very different days if they are used to living in the city.
In the town, time slows down, and therefore it offers a perfect setting to disconnect, connect with nature, take things differently , enjoy, forget about school or institute, go to the pool, watch the sunsets…
In addition, in the town the boys spend many hours in the street, playing or chatting with their friends, walking, cycling… And in this context and with these friends, friends who are often for life, they will also live his first times in many things.
the first parties
Adolescents are at an age where they are no longer children but they are not adults either, and therefore, they are still testing that freedom and that desire for autonomy.
And on that road the first night outings are already beginning, especially in the town (in the big cities they are still “small”). But in town it’s easier to go out and as parents we don’t worry in the same way, because it’s a safe place where everyone knows each other (although that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t set certain limits, such as arrival time).
Thus, the first major festivals (village festivals) or the first neighborhood festivals arrive, with music and a good atmosphere, which teenagers like so much.
The first (dis)love
First love is also a common experience during early teen summers. In this relaxed environment, whether in town or on a trip, it is easier for the first sparks to arise with someone, those infatuations that we will remember all our lives.
And that first love – also more immature, more “crazy” – sometimes also entails the first heartbreak (as José Luis Martín Vigil’s novel says, first love, first pain ).
For this reason, although sometimes that first crush can turn into a bittersweet experience, with the years and the perspective that life gives, your children will not regret having lived it.
Friends: a fundamental aspect of your identity
With the arrival of these first times that we are commenting on, also come the first important disputes with friends, the first conflicts, the first more intimate experiences with them, the fact of spending so many hours together… Friendships are forged that will last forever. , and others that will leave an indelible mark .
And with all this, also comes the experimentation of certain emotions that perhaps never before had been experienced with such intensity; emotions such as disappointment, joy, unconditional love for friends… and yet, the adolescent in turn will define what his values are , or what he values from a friend: perhaps honesty, company, support unconditional, timeshare, etc.
And it is that in adolescence, friends play a central role in the development of self-esteem, identity, personality… And all this can intensify in summer.
How to accompany our children in this stage and manage their desire for freedom?
The truth is that the stage that comes to our children, with summer, is a very beautiful stage that they will surely live with great intensity. When it comes to accompanying them and understanding them, it is important that we put ourselves in their shoes and remember what we needed when we were teenagers.
Find that midpoint between enhancing their autonomy by allowing them freedom and trusting them, and letting them know that they can count on us for everything they need. We will always be your refuge and your support, even if you grow up and things change.
On the other hand, Diana Al Azem, educational counselor and creator of the Positive Adolescence website, suggests that if we want to cultivate their freedom while still educating them and letting them know that we are “there”, it is important that adolescents feel that:
- They can solve your problems.
- They have a peer group that understands them.
- Have the perception that they are prepared to gradually move away from their parents.
And remember that your adolescent son will continue to need you close, to be able to manage his emotions when he feels that they overwhelm him in his first times, due to that intensity with which he experiences things, and also to share his moments of happiness with you.
It is simply about being there and being able to enjoy with them also this stage that can be a mirror for us, a trip back in time when we were their age and we believed that everything was extremely important, because that is how we lived it.
Photos | Cover (Pexels)
