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"To those of you who are using so much energy not to burst the bubble": a psychologist's reflection on the mental burden of parents

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Since the pandemic began, the psychotherapist and trainer, Beatriz Cazurro, has openly expressed her opinion about the treatment children are receiving. Thus, through his precious vignettes and his reflections full of sensitivity and empathy, he has shown his refusal to carry the label of ‘hero’ on the shoulders of children, and his complete disagreement with a return to school with such restrictive measures.

Yesterday he surprised us with another illustration that has directly touched the hearts of many fathers and mothers ; especially in these days in which the events derived from the pandemic seem to have gotten out of control at the gates of Christmas.

The psychologist has wanted to focus this time on the invisible work that families are doing to keep our children protected from everything that is happening outside: confrontations, massive confinements, increased infections, cancellation of children’s plans …

All of this has gradually formed a huge bubble that, for the sake of children, parents are trying to prevent it from bursting , doing what each of us considers to be the best for them. This effort is leading to great emotional tension, great sadness, frustration and even a feeling of loneliness.

For all the families that are currently at this point , Beatriz Cazurro launches a comforting and extremely necessary message in these moments in which many parents feel that we cannot take it anymore: “I just wanted to tell you that it is an invisible job that you are doing, but It is invaluable. Thank you . “

 

Children again …

This last week of school promised to be special, magical and surprising for children . Many cabbages had planned to celebrate their Christmas festivals, visit of the Magi, Christmas lunches, workshops, parties … However, due to the turn that events have taken, a large part of the planned plans have been canceled, to a greater or lesser extent. lesser measure.

Personally, I decided not to take my children to school this week due to the increase in positive cases that have been happening around us. I know that many families have done the same, others wanted to do it but have not been able to (the eternal problem of conciliation) and many others have decided to follow the usual routine to try to give their children the maximum normality.

All parents have done what we could or have considered best for our children , because we are all united by the same feeling: to protect them as much as possible and keep intact the illusion and happiness typical of these dates.

However, it is irremediable to prevent ghosts from emerging again. Ghosts in the form of fear, doubts, uncertainty and frustration, a lot of frustration.

My children said goodbye to their classmates and teachers on Friday afternoon, like any other Friday, without knowing that on Monday they would no longer return to class , since we made the decision throughout the weekend. When on Monday I went to pick up his books, report card and material from the first term, I had a déjà vu , and inevitably moved to March 2020 , when the parents were overwhelmed at the doors of the educational centers to receive the instructions from teachers before the hasty closure of schools.

On the other hand, and always taking the utmost precautions, this Christmas I hoped that they would be different from last year. But overnight everything has turned upside down and as a precaution, in our family we have decided not to meet on these dates .

In order to combat the frustration and sadness that everything that is happening causes me, but above all to prevent the tension and exhaustion that is breathed outside from splashing our family bubble , I have spent days “going out of my way” to make plans with my children that help to remember these holidays in a special way. They are simple plans at home (a bubble bath, a pajama party, a dance contest, an afternoon baking …), but in which both my husband and I are putting all our hearts and hopes.

This “invisible work”, as the psychologist Beatriz Cazurro calls it, is right now being the lifeline of many children who for the second year in a row are seeing many of the children’s plans and activities of those dates truncated.

Without a doubt, it is hard and exhausting work that families are doing , but it is very necessary to preserve the mental health of children and create beautiful memories that will accompany them throughout their lives, despite the downpour that is falling outside.

Photos | Beatriz Cazurro

In Babies and More | How to live Christmas in a positive way for children: five tips from a Montessori expert to enjoy the holidays, The insomnia of mothers in quarantine: why ghosts come at night and how we can lighten this mental load

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