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Why It Is Important To Use Open-ended Questions When We Communicate With Our Children

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Open questions are those that are formulated with the aim that the person express himself freely and offer enriching details that make us know more about his personality, his tastes, concerns or interests. That is, they are questions that are not answered with a simple yes or no .

It is very important that we ask children open questions , both at home and at school, as it not only brings great benefits to their development, but also promotes communication, improves trust and helps strengthen our bond.

We explain why open questions are essential in the child’s education and how they are formulated.

Open questions vs. closed questions

Although in this article we are going to focus on the importance of asking open questions when we address children, the reality is that these types of questions are very positive at any age , since they allow us to connect with the person in front of us when we meet more details about her.

In fact, open questions are widely used in the workplace, in job interviews and in general, in any investigation in which the maximum possible information is required from the participants.

However, and despite the many benefits that these types of questions provide, parents often make the mistake of surrounding conversations with our children with questions that do not give rise to free expression or knowledge of other details.

Using open-ended questions when talking to children has important benefits for them:

1) Build confidence

To begin with, when we ask open questions we are creating an environment of trust and freedom so that the child can express himself however he wants; no judgments, no times and no one to guide you about what you have to say through closed questions.

2) Helps us get to know each other better

Open questions are a great resource to build trust between all family members , get to know each other better, and find out details about each other that can help us improve our relationship.

3) Promotes creativity

Since open questions are not answered with a “yes” or a “no”, nor with a “good” or a bad “, the child is forced to do an introspective and creative exercise to answer.

4) Reflection and critical spirit are encouraged

All this allows the child to enhance his critical spirit, express his preferences and reflect on the issue raised without the constraints or previous conditions to which we submit them when we use closed questions.

5) Improve oral expression

And as if all of the above were not enough, through open responses the child not only works memory and verbalization of ideas following a sequential or logical order, but also helps to promote oral expression, vocabulary and the development of language skills .

6) Active listening is worked

When our children speak it is important to listen to them with all five senses; that is, to put all our attention and interest in what they tell us, not to interrupt them and to encourage that free dialogue that we mentioned at the beginning.

When this happens, the child will not only feel heard, respected and loved, but will also be learning about the importance of listening to the speaker, respecting the speaking time and not interrupting.

How to ask open questions

But although we know that open questions are the best when it comes to interacting with children, the truth is that it is not easy to ask them, at least when you do not have experience in it.

Open questions require time, patience and active listening, as each child’s intervention can provide us with important details that lead to the formulation of new questions.

If you want to start changing the closed questions you ask your children for open questions , here are some ideas that can help you:

  • Open – ended questions begin with the interrogative pronouns Q ue Who, Why, Where, When and How. These types of questions allow a great variety of answers.
  • If you have doubts, before asking your child, answer yourself if the questions you are going to ask can be answered with “yes”, “no”, “good”, “bad”, “white”, “black” .. That is, if it only gives rise to two possible and closed alternatives. If so, find a way to put your question differently.

For example : change the “Did you do well in school?” , for “what did you like the most about school today?”

But beware! It must also be borne in mind that the younger the child is, the more specific the question you ask him will have to be, since his capacity for synthesis and specification is very low. For this reason, we have to adjust our questions, but always allowing free expression and the possibility of offering as many details as possible.

  • Ask the questions one at a time, leaving time for the child to express himself freely. If you ask multiple open-ended questions at once, your child may feel overwhelmed and confused.
  • Listen carefully to the answer given to the question posed, because from it you can obtain many important details to continue the conversation in one direction or another.

A good way to practice open-ended questions is through play, family meetings, family discussions, or even after you’ve seen a thought-provoking movie together.

For example: “What do you think about this issue?”, “What is your opinion about this that has happened?”, “How would you have solved this problem?”, “What alternatives can you think of that we could propose? ? “…

Thus, little by little, we will internalize this way of asking and communicating with others until a time comes when we have incorporated open questions into our daily conversations, taking advantage of all the benefits they bring us.

Photos | iStock

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