Despite what we see in many series and movies, in real life most couples start out as friends, as revealed by a work published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science . Its authors carried out the study when they discovered that the majority of psychology works that study romantic relationships focus on those that begin as a spark between strangers, and that only 8% analyze romances that develop between friends.
“We may have a good understanding of how strangers attract each other and start dating, but this is just not how most relationships start,” explains Danu Anthony Stinson, lead author and professor of psychology at the University of Victoria ( Canada).
Study results
The team of researchers analyzed data from nearly 1,900 youth and adult volunteers, and 68% reported that their current or most recent romantic relationship had started as a friendship. In addition, there was not much variation in these results based on gender, education level or ethnic groups, although the rate of beginning the relationship as friends was higher, 85%, among twentysomethings and in LGBTQ + communities. .
Among college students, most couples had been friends for a year or two before beginning the romantic relationship, and generally this friendship had developed without pretense of becoming nothing more. In addition, almost half of the students chose these types of beginnings as their favorites compared to other options such as meeting at a party or through a dating app.
For researchers, this work should prompt us to review our preconceived notions about love and friendship, as we often think of them as relationships that are formed in different ways and meet different needs. “Our research suggests that the lines between friendship and romance are blurred,” says Stinson, “and I think that forces us to rethink our assumptions about what constitutes a good friendship, but also what constitutes a good romantic relationship.”
Referencia: Stinson et al. 2021. The Friends-to-Lovers Pathway to Romance: Prevalent, Preferred, and Overlooked by Science. Social Psychological and Personality Science. https://doi.org/10.1177/19485506211026992
