Baby piss!

Yes sir, and I’m not referring to what the Fremen in the epic sci-fi novel Dune did to survive on their desert planet Arrakis (remember urine is 95% water). Because these, at least, treated her. In this era of natural and superdúperecobiological products, what you have to do is drink your own pee just as it comes out of the container and dry. Well, maybe it’s worth putting a few ice cubes on it, like coffee in the summer, but don’t throw a shot of cognac at all. You will see how your health improves.

At least that’s what many naturopaths say. What has angina? Well , gargle with fresh, warm urine for a minute several times a day. Of course, rinse your mouth after doing it and before giving your churri a kiss. What has an open wound? Apply some of their urine, cow or horse urine if you have one of these animals at hand with a cotton ball. And if your teenager has acne, he should just drink a good glass of urine in the morning (no Cola Cao or bagpipes) and rub it on his face three times a day . Let’s not talk about how good it is at fighting viral infections anymore because, say its proponents, “antibodies found in urine can suppress viral infection and help cure it.” Apparently the ones you pee have more effect than the ones you have in your blood. True things, my Cide. The good thing about this “medicine” is that you always carry it with you, it doesn’t pollute the environment with superfluous disposable containers and it doesn’t cost a single euro.

According to the Chinese Association of Urinotherapy – and the devotion that people have in these parts to the almighty traditional Chinese medicine is already known – it warns us that it is not good to start directly by drinking a pint of piss, as it has its side effects (Note: Miracle! A “natural” product that has them!): diarrhoea, pain, fatigue, itching… According to what they say, it has been used there for a long time as a sexual invigorator, which makes sense. Meanwhile, the Siberian Koryak drink their urine (or that of a friend) to maintain the effect of certain hallucinogenic mushrooms. Even a drunken Koryak can carry his own urine when he goes on a sled trip to keep him off for as long as possible.

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