Jan Böhmermann makes musicals: Queer thought, made white

An entire ZDF Magazin Royale as a musical can be fun as long as it doesn’t want to be too relevant. Because then it becomes clear that diversity is missing. The TV review.

Jan Böhmermann makes a musical. Well. Since this is a special issue of ZDF Magazin Royale – “Böhmi” modestly calls the play “Der Eierwurf von Halle” a “world premiere” – a disclaimer is placed in front of the following words. Because just like for the ZDF satirist, it is also a premiere for the author of these lines.

In other words: I’ve never seen a musical. At least I can’t remember it. Passed me completely. Sung theater is just not my thing. So I am writing this review as an absolute layman. And thus from a position that will almost certainly share a certain part of the Böhmermann regular audience. But there is already the first plus point: Jan Böhmermann creates points of contact with an art form that otherwise has a loving following, but can only be found in the prominent evening program in the programs of relevant specialty channels.

From the standpoint of such a layman, let me add that, I do not take it upon myself to evaluate the performances in a pseudo-columnist manner. Were the vocal parts consistent? Is the set an eye-catcher? Was the choreography avant-garde? I dont know. I don’t even know if avant-garde is the right term in connection with a stage design.

Musical in ZDF Magazin Royale: Jan Böhmermann dares to do a gay plot

Instead, we deal better with the content from the naive eyes of the first contact with a musical. The introduction has standing. Jan Böhmermann opens as a greyed Tagesschau spokesman and steals the ARD logo for his ZDF show. It goes into the plot without much detours. It takes place in 1991 and revolves around Jens and Maik. Maik with ai. Jens and Maik are just getting to know each other. Before that, they spent their first night together. Obviously, without first introducing themselves to each other.

You can leave it that way, also because there are still people who are small-minded and reactionary enough to be bothered by it. What? Two main gay characters? In the main program? Paid from my license fees? Ok, boomer, be quiet. Deal with it. Just the fact that people with a mental horizon can be triggered with the elasticity of a bed sheet without an elastic band is pleasing. To show you that queer love was simply a natural thing long before the evil times of do-gooders and the woke culture. And then as now, not your business, boomer.

You can also ignore the fact that we are really close to the cliché of the sexually uninhibited gay scene. Nevertheless, you can hear Mr. Boomer thinking out loud: “Yes, yes, that’s how they are, the gays. First pop, then talk. ”Free, the will counts. “Hey Maik with ai, the night was nice, will we meet again?” Jens sings. And Maik joins in. But now both of them have to get down to work. What they don’t know (simply because they sing several times and tell each other that they have to go now – just not where to go): Maik from Halle is Juso and progressive. Jens is the bodyguard of the unit chancellor Dr. Helmut Kohl and, we will find out later, “a little on the right”.

Sebastian Krumbiegel gives a wonderfully evil Helmut Kohl in the musical with Jan Böhmermann

Cut. In the company car we meet the aforementioned Dr. Cabbage. And Saumagen-Helmut says: “If one day these are all blooming landscapes, we have to pull weeds first. That’s how you do it in a free market economy. ”Jens, who is sitting next to him, replies almost indignantly:“ In a free and social market economy, Dr. Kohl. “And Helmut Kohl says:” Yeah, yeah, whatever “

Wait a minute, don’t you? At this point, props get upset – until the end it remains (at least for some and especially for laypeople like me) with “you know him”, then the solution: It’s about Sebastian Krumbiegel. You know, the one of the “princes”. Leipziger and lived for a while in Ostalgie shows. Everything just stolen, eyo eyo. And it makes a fantastic cabbage, even if it only initially imitates its Palatinate accent with a certain seriousness and gradually lets it go. His first song: “Clear the way for Chancellor Kohl.” The music seems threatening at first, then awkward.

“You’re welcome, you will see what awaits you,” sings the Chancellor of the Unit (or more the executor, at this point we should remind you of the outstanding preparatory work of a certain Mr. Brandt). Whether it was wanted or not, he is clearly the antagonist, the villain. He basically embodies the ruthlessness and arrogance of the West and, in detail, the even more ruthless arrogance of the post-reunification CDU: “I am the boss and a colossus of diplomacy.” While his accompanying singers waving the German flag celebrate him, Jens noticeably doubts. But he also continues to pivot.

Musical in ZDF Magazin Royale: Jan Böhmermann and cultural appropriation

Applause. Enter Böhmermann. With … meadow (?) On your head, topless and in traditional African costume. He intones a rather flat parody of the song Nants’ Ingonyama (The Eternal Circle) from the film and musical and again the film “The Lion King”. He turns “Nants’ Ingonyama” into “unemployment”. Uff. And make fun of the next words of the original song. The song by the South African producer and singer Lebo M., also sung by the South African singer Brown Lindiwe Mkhize. Is that funny, especially from the mouth of a white bread like Jan Böhmermann? Or is it somehow wrong and a bit too close to a mix of cultural appropriation and abuse? Let others decide.

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Next scene: Jusos in the “youth style” of the early nineties. Or late eighties. “Fuck capitalist,” says one. And: “By the way, I still get money for the eggs.” At this point it should be briefly said that the “bigger” plot revolves around Maik with ai and Jens about Halle’s egg-throwing on May 10, 1991. To all those who at that time were either not yet born, unbelievably ignorant or still in the turn-around drinking coma, let me briefly explain: On that day, young dissatisfied people, among them the then local Juso chairman Matthias Schipke, threw in front of the town hall in Halle the Saale eggs on Helmut Kohl.

Kohl didn’t think that was funny and rolled towards the youngsters with all his might. The need to tear off heads with his own burned in his eyes. If his bodyguards and companions hadn’t stopped him – maybe he would have.

Jann Böhmermann does a musical: Angelika Milster sings as Frei-Ei in ZDF Magazin Royale

Back to the musical jusos. They hardly leave out a cliché. Maik with ai is obviously their leader. He shouts: “People, just concentrate”. And then there is a class war song. At this point, a woman is allowed to sing along for the first time. Two even. If only briefly. But more on that later. About the song “I am a real Juso” one can say: at some point it will be over. And that’s not so bad at all. What, do you want a few lines? All right: “The heart beats to the left, we can trust that. Time to really hit the drum again. Now we’re showing face. We don’t leave any comrade in the lurch. ”It’s your own fault.

Enter Krumbiegel-Kohl: “You’re welcome, you can see me, I’m the Chancellor.” The Jusos boo and answer: “Liar Kohl, away with liar Kohl!” But then! You see yourself. “Jens, what are you doing here?” Calls Maik with ai over the barrier. “What are you doing here, Maik?” Calls out bodyguard Jens. Maik: “With ai!” Another Juso: “Did you say egg?” A play on words! At this point I hear Marc Uwe Klings kangaroo calling out a long drawn out “funny”. And then the egg flies.

But it doesn’t just fly. It also sings. In the person of the German singer, actress, musical artist and voice actress (thank you, Google) Angelika Milster. Your solo performance is somehow quite magical. It sounds nice to my untrained musical ears when she sings in her egg costume in a completely white environment (we’ll get to that in a moment): “Why was I taken? From a six-pack box? I’m floating like a feather, I’m flying away I am an egg. And yet much more. I am allegorical, am a metaphor. ”And she sings:“ Do I symbolize unity, fragile republic? Or do I symbolize Germany when I fly through the air? ”And then a lot is about freedom.

ZDF Magazin Royale: Sweet homo romance and standard morality with a mallet

And until the dramaturgy wants it that way, that a carnival-themed car-like cabbage head (yes yes, puns) is cut. And then on Krumbiegel-Kohl, who angrily attacks the “Jusos”: “I’ll punch you in the face! Sozis out! I am the Chancellor! I’ll flatten you! ”That is not the very fine blade of stage art, thinks the layman. But the scene, you have to admit that everyone involved, looks astonishingly similar to its historical original.

So while everyone is fighting, Jens and Maik see each other as one wants to keep his boss Krumbiegel-Kohl (“Mr. Chancellor, stop!) And the other with ai his lawyers in check. They are getting closer to each other. Together they now step over the scene: “What are you doing here?” “What are you doing here?” “What are we doing here? What are we fighting for? “

This leads to a deliberately mega-kitschy scene in front of the castle backdrop. Initially, Jens and Maik are in the same boat with ai. Swans around them. They languish and emphasize their opposites. “I am protecting our country.” “I am in the resistance.” “I am protecting the nation.” “And I want progression.” Well, it goes on like this for a few minutes. At some point they hold hands and somehow notice that their opposites make them a perfect couple. East and West, German Unity. “An egg can be a bridge” (no shit, they really sing). Their love culminates in an iconic moment with the most important images about the fall of the Berlin Wall and a kiss between them. Fireworks. Reunion! Mallet. But sweet.

Jan Böhmermann cannot leave out his index finger even in a fun musical

At the end Jan Böhmermann comes on the scene, disguised as something like Papageno. Then they all sing about eggs together and love each other very much. Obviously, a reference to the present should also be here. Because Böhmermann sings: “In a country, divided and divided, a people lives in discord and strife. No no no! Germany, finally get free! “

OK. Time for a conclusion. Was this necessary? So this whole musical number? No of course not. Was it a negative slip up? Neither. It was deliberate fun, but unfortunately in the end it was not foregoing to raise the index finger: “Think out of the box!”

The musical in ZDF Magazin Royal is queer, but terrifyingly white and manly

On the other hand, there is the cast, which was not out of the box at all. In the background, attention was paid to diversity in the rows of singers and dancers, at least at first glance there were people with a migration background. However, they were not allowed to sing themselves in the foreground. The actors: Jan Böhmermann, Sebastian Krumbiegel, Angelika Milster, Robin Reitsma and Mark Seibert – all of them white. For people with names that sound less German, there was only room in the back field. And: With the exception of the solo egg Milster and two small “Juso” jerks, all singing and speaking roles were male.

Basically, something like this should play a subordinate role. Art is not black or white, not male or female, not straight or queer. But if such a piece tries with a queer plot to add a socio-cultural relevance that goes beyond the unified story, then please do it consistently. (Mirko Schmid)