“Böhmi sizzles” on ZDFneo with Xatar: Potato meets Köftespieß

Jan Böhmermann sizzles on ZDFneo, the guest is rapper Xatar. In the end, after Köftes skewer and beef roulade, there is a somewhat bland aftertaste. The TV review.

There are days in life that take on macabre fun. That show us how good we once had it and how dreary everyday life can be. A Friday can safely be counted as one of these days, which takes a true legend from the kitchen of the German television audience in order to present us with a satirist who forgets the satire. A Friday that should go down in the history of cooking that unites generations on TV. And not because there is now a “bohmi sizzling”, but because Alfred Biolek, one, no, the legend of the format, will never do it again.

One may give credit to the “pale thin boy” for not being able to know about the recording of his ZDFneo show, and accordingly not saying a word about the filleting luminary on television and instead recalling that he once “had a little incident with the Turkish one President ”had. The figure he portrays in his premier cooking show remains so, well, pale that the inclined audience has to feel reminded of what they once had about “Bio” through shock therapy.

But one after the other. The guest is the rapper Xatar, whom a valued colleague explained to me as the “only true gangster of German hip-hop”, when I grew up with a student rapper with a flower pot, creme de la creme and fish mob. After all, this Giwar Hajabi, as Xatar’s real name is called, is said to have booked a season ticket for a place behind Swedish curtains by attacking a money transporter in a bazooka. Oha.

Xatar delivers witty prison anecdotes with Jan Böhmermann at “Böhmi sizzles”

And Xatar delivers. He tells Jan Böhmermann that the jail in southern Germany is “really shit”, whereas in NRW it is “really relaxed”, but the food in prisons in Bavaria and Baden-Württemberg is “unbelievably good”. The insider tip for criminal gourmets: let yourself be booked in the south, because it tastes good. Xatar should know, he has been behind bars “everywhere” by his own admission. This nice story brings both of them to one common topic of conversation: the police.

Böhmermann talks about his father, a “serious” police officer who made a great career. MEK, SEK, homicide squad, all inclusive. Xatar encourages you to write your own anecdotes. He comes to the conclusion that these highly specialized elite troops (who recently revealed one or the other problem with an unhealthy proximity to National Socialist ideas in Hesse) “simply always have to exaggerate Oceans Eleven-wise”. And with ropes and so through windows they would penetrate apartments which, after prior observation, they would know that old people and children slept there.

At Xatar, he remembers, the strong boys came through the window so often that at some point his mother brewed tea to greet them. At some point, the officers would have kindly known that they “no longer have to destroy everything”. Not without having lifted the apartment door off its hinges during a previous visit to tea with such taste that it was left open for years without being repaired. Xatar shrugging: “But nobody in the block itched.”

Xatar turns to Gettokids for “Böhmi sizzles”, Jan Böhmermann takes care of his roulade

This is followed by the most interesting part of the chimney chat disguised as a cooking duel: The native Iranian tells of children in the block who look up to role models who “do criminal things”. A sad milieu study, a chatted reflection of the reality of parallel societies in the middle of Germany. “From drugs to I don’t know. You just grow up like that, ”explains Xatar.

“You think if I go there for three years, then I’ve already done so and so much by then. Then it was worth it “, the rapper explains the motivation and warns:” That is a very stupid way of thinking. “His appeal:” To everyone who sees it: Don’t think that way! I’ve been through everything that everyone is rapping about. In the end, it’s not worth it. And that’s what it’s about “. Strong words. Böhmermann: “By the way, I cut the ground beef here in the middle, chopped cucumbers and now it is simply rolled up”.

Well, actually this is supposed to be sizzling in the first place. But: Are you serious, Böhmermann? A role model from the Gettokids speaks wise words and you come to him with a shrug of your shoulders with gherkins and roulade rings? You could now call a little insensitive, maybe even disinterested. It just doesn’t seem like making Xatar so ignorant at this point. Imagine it in the private kitchen: the good fellow, tanned and refined by life, dares to take the step and pours out his heart. His German colleague from well-to-do backgrounds answers with the current status of his culinary insignificance. Thanks bro. Nice that you have an ear for me.

Xatar tells about shootings in Cologne in “Böhmi sizzles”, Böhmermann waves from the ivory tower

Another example of the distance of at least four blocks between the boys of the German police officers and the boys from the curb, which has been cultivated over generations, is provided by the two immediately afterwards. Xatar says that there are “at least three or four shootings a week” in Cologne, “the last one in Porz the day before yesterday”. Böhmermann, visibly surprised from the elf tower: “How do you know that?” Xatar dry as Pinot Gris: “From the news, Habibi.”

In his role as a vicious magazine royale satirist, Jan Böhmermann would probably not have let good old Alfred Biolek get away with something like that. Of course, this remains a theoretical experimental setup, because “Bio” then had a little more class when cooking (and especially when listening).

The legend Alfred Biolek would not necessarily have liked “Böhmi sizzle”

Regardless, the roulade is slowly warming up. So further in the text. You shouldn’t get involved with Jens Spahn, who, according to the rapper’s memory protocol, wanted to put on masks, says Böhmermann. Otherwise the police will come, he jokes. Does she do that? One would like to ask one or the other (former) Union member whether his mother has already been allowed to make tea for guests who come through the window. And how long the front door of the local suburban villa was then open unrepaired. But leave it alone, some of the answers could unsettle you.

At the end there are non-alcoholic drinks from the sommelier to Böhmermann’s roulade with potatoes and Xatar’s Köftes skewer. Orient meets Occident, “Böhmi” calls it. Soso. His cooking show is supposed to drive those who love cooking shows to white heat, the entertainer let know at the beginning of the show. And those who hate them. Has that succeeded? Let’s leave it with a classic that is suitable for the kitchen: There is no arguing about taste. One thing is certain: Alfred Biolek has not missed anything, wherever he eats, cooks and lets his incomparable charm play out. (Mirko Schmid)