This is how ZDF Magazin Royale works! Jan Böhmermann dismantles Springer-Verlag

Jan Böhmermann delivers a great moment for his ZDF Magazin Royale and shows off Springer-Verlag with relish. Not seen? Repeat! The TV review.

Tell me Bohmi, are you actually kidding me? No, seriously now. Last week you bore us with that irrelevant wealth advisory blah and then this? Utilitarianism and such? Happiness can only be where unhappiness was previously felt? To fire this up straight away: wow, Digger. Just wow. As someone who gives himself your ZDF Magazin Royale week after week and then adds his pseudo-intellectual mustard, I just like to take off my hat today. Oh, tear it off my head. Ladies and gentlemen, we experience the great moment of Jan Böhmermann in the main program of ZDF.

And also something of meta. How else should you categorize an episode of ZDF Magazin Royale that takes its own bread and butter? In the Jan Böhmermann says: “Dr. Dirk Ippen didn’t dare to publish the scandal story about the powerful and feared Axel Springer publishing house ”?

But before we go into that further, your something-damn-correct-and-important entry into this issue of your fine ZDF magazine has to be mentioned. Jan Böhmermann says with a look at the Corona case numbers: “I’m just pissed off. Because we have to do shows without an audience again because of all that, many unvaccinated people. ”And you say with contempt:“ Yes, but society divides. Split society. ”And then from the bottom of my heart:“ I don’t give a shit if everyone is vaccinated. ”Made. My. Day. Thanks for that.

Jan Böhmermann positions himself clearly on Corona, vaccinations and Christmas markets

But that’s not all: “This damned corona virus has cost human lives, ruined entire industries, but that was just a foretaste of what Germany is now facing. When people die, okay, all right. If people die, it doesn’t matter. But our Christmas markets, our German Christmas markets, they mustn’t die. “This! You speak to me and to whole generations from the heart. Generations who have to watch how 2G plus (!) Testing is now mandatory in clubs, while Prime Minister Volker Bouffier emphasizes that there are no requirements for church services.

Because: And now it’s going to be really cheeky, yes, church and state are separate. What, Volker Bouffier? Are you serious? Aren’t you the one who doesn’t let us dance on Good Friday, everyone, because of church and so on? So much for the separation. And so much for who chooses you. Who you depend on. The boys are clearly not.

Sorry, that had to be done. Back to Jan Böhmermann. That is because the ZDF filleted the Springer-Verlag and his (fortunately not quite as much today) much-sold rolling paper with the four letters that your heart will open when you have one. And are not a publisher yourself. And don’t pay me

Jan Böhmermann dismantled the ZDF magazine Royale Bild and Axel Springer

As “Editor-in-Chief ZMR” (insiders understand the allusion and I thank you for that, dear Jan Böhmermann), “Böhmi” unpacks that Axel Springer himself married the women away from his neighbor and had ready-made jewelry packages sent to his playmates. In addition, a pre-printed letter that it was exciting. Does that sound familiar to us in these times? I don’t say anything. Finally wants to have this text published.

Only this much (and that is not what I say, but someone from Böhmermann’s remarkably well-played round “Viertel nach Welke”): “As Bild editor-in-chief you can only dream of that today.” of the Stalingrad generation ”. More of that! It feels so good. And after picture henchman Thomas Gottschalk was shown briefly and appropriately as a skeleton, Böhmermann added: “Is Springer Verlag still relevant in terms of journalism at all? Fortunately, at least it’s enough for jokes, or what do you think? ”I mean: That’s enough.

But Springer isn’t just funny. Bill Kaulitz, for example, lets Jan Böhmermann speak to ZDF magazine Royale with a bitter complaint. According to Kaulitz, Bild is blackmailing you until you deliver. But she won’t let you off the hook. And so long, according to Kaulitz, until they “eventually fuck you.” His solution: simply stop talking “to them”. Don’t give them anything anymore. And laugh at their “journalism”. Strong.

Jan Böhmermann presents: Since the CDU was out of the coalition talks, the picture is out too

But that doesn’t apply to everyone. Especially not for the CDU, which, according to Johanna Haberer (professor of Christian journalism), most recently attracted attention because the discrete rounds of stinging were suddenly over since she was no longer at the negotiating table. Coincidence, coincidence. Micaela Schäfer, at the table with the group “Viertel nach Welke” (very cool parody, incidentally, of the recently fired “inventor from quarter past eight”), punches out: “Who goes up with the CDU, goes down with the CDU . “

There are more quotable shooting stars in the evening entertainment at ZDF Magazin Royale. Examples? Böhmermann: “But isn’t that a bit embarrassing for Axel Springer Verlag when its employees work for Nazis?” Everyone laughs. “Moderator” Carolin Worbs (incidentally in the role of her life): “When my boss gropes me in the paternoster, is that an expression of political resistance?” Böhmermann: “What else Caro, you’ve had at Axel Springer since Lived for decades. “

And in the end Jan Böhmermann wants to know again: “Axel Springer has to go back to the roots. Neighbors have to be married away again, preprinted sex greeting cards have to be sent. Forging divorce certificates has to become everyday life again. ”At this point I am sending a greeting to an anonymous unemployed person somewhere out there.

This episode of ZDF magazin Royale with Jan Böhmermann set standards

But Jan Böhmermann has shown mercy on ZDF: “That has to be legalized. Company fucks on color copiers of course and be proud of it. Cocaine in the plant cubicle. Why not, please. And when the police come, Springerverlag will simply clarify the problem directly with the Federal Minister of the Interior using a short official channel. “

Did I already say “wow”? All the same. Wow! Thank you, dear Jan Böhmermann, thank you. Thank you for this issue of your magazine. And you, dear reader: Why haven’t you stopped reading my blah blah here and clicked on the link to the media library up there? No excuses. Do it! (Mirko Schmid)