Dopamine is born in one of the most primitive areas of the brain and, through the reward system, flows to the frontal lobe, a more evolved structure that allows us to direct our behavior towards an end. This region of the brain is the slowest to mature and the first to deteriorate in old age and acts as a time machine that makes it possible for us to remember the past and live the future before it happens. It helps us anticipate events, and in that anticipation lies part of our happiness and misery. It is told by psychologist Dan Gilbert, author of the book Tripping on Happiness .
In his opinion, the problem is that “the brain often gives us wrong information about what will make us happy or not. We make the mistake of thinking that the good will be very good and the bad, very bad” It is preferable to be skeptical, rely on scientific data, look at statistics, and question tips for finding happiness. Statistics give us some clues as to what makes most people happy. For example, among the most used recipes are those that say that to be happy you have to have a good job that gives you to live decently, get married and have children.
With the figures in hand, we see that it is true that married people are happier than single or common-law couples and that they live longer. Marriage is a good investment in all cultures, especially for men, Gilbert emphasizes. But getting divorced when things aren’t going well also increases happiness, especially for men, who feel better right away. Women take on average a couple of years to be happy again. As for children, the numbers reflect that they pose a requirement that reduces happiness, especially of mothers, while they are young. The peak of parental unhappiness is between 45 and 55 years old , when the burden of obligations is highest. For Gilbert, “The empty nest syndrome is an invention. When the children leave home, the happiness of the parents increases.”
As for money, happiness increases when income reaches 60,000 euros per year. Above this amount, money is no longer so closely related to the level of happiness. Although it can increase if we use it to entertain others. However, stopping work is not necessarily a good idea. According to Gilbert, resting is one of the things that makes us less happy, as opposed to practicing pleasant activities – especially sex, followed by physical exercise – that make us feel better. Happiness is not achieved by doing exotic things, but with simple recipes, such as spending more time with family and friends. We are the most social animals on the planet, that’s why those who spend more time in relationships and have more friends are happier.
Part of the unhappiness comes from within us. There is nothing in itself neither good nor bad, it is the human mind that makes it seem that way. And it is that our species has an evolutionarily recent structure, the prefrontal cortex, which functions as “a simulator that allows us to imagine and anticipate what our experiences will be like before living them. Planning actions and making decisions based on mentally simulated experiences is, a priori , an advantage. However, it can also become the main cause that the pursuit of happiness is wrong because this part of the brain often miscalculates the degree of happiness or unhappiness that future experiences will cause us . ” We are poor predictors of happiness, according to Gilbert.
We cannot change what happened, but we can change what we think about it. Otherwise “cognitive dissonance” will make us feel unhappy. On the other hand, changing your perspective is very positive , as it happened in the fable of the fox and the grapes. Wisely, the fox, seeing that she had no way of picking them from the vine, decided that they were not worth it because they were not ripe. This ability to change the way of thinking is the cornerstone of psychotherapy . Having an open mind is essential. New experiences exercise the brain and make us happy.
