A study published last November in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology tried to answer this question from a different perspective. Instead of focusing on the specific erotic behaviors that lead us to feel happy, she investigated people’s expectations and their ability to see them satisfied .
The authors of the research, from the University of Toronto (Canada), divided the participants – both homosexual and heterosexual – into two different groups. On the one hand, those who believe that fate will bring them the encounter with someone with whom from the beginning they will have a perfect and blended erotic connection. On the other hand, those who think that relationships must be worked on and that sexual rapport is achieved with effort, over time.
The data from the six surveys they did of the 1,900 study participants showed that the latter, those who believe in progressive sexual growth, have a happier erotic life . The secret, according to these researchers, is in the expectations that beliefs generate. Those who expect immediate ecstasy are soon disappointed and unhappy, while others gradually improve over time.
“People who believe in sexual destiny automatically equate problems in bed with problems in life as a couple in general,” explains Jessica Maxwell, the expert who led the study. “But your sex life is like a garden , which needs to be watered and cared for to keep it flowery.” The thing about predestination stays for romance novels and movies.
