Cases in which a person maintains two parallel stable relationships only come to light in exceptional circumstances. In 1993, for example, Jean-Claude Romand was arrested for the murder of his wife, children and parents. There it was discovered that he had had a mistress for many years. In his case, the double life was more complex: he deceived his family saying that he was a doctor – he had just started his career – and that he worked at the World Health Organization (WHO), but he never had paid employment. The money was obtained through scams.
However, double lives that end without drama are more common than we think. Robert Motta, a psychologist at Hofstra University in New York, estimates that 70% of men and 50% of women have a parallel relationship for some years of their lives. A figure that many psychotherapists, aware of the privacy of their patients, assume as probable.
Fears bind us
Other people end up having two relationships because it is difficult for them to cut ties. For example, there are women and men whose lack of tolerance for stress prevents them from ending a relationship when they fall in love with another person. They feel unable to leave their partner for fear of causing pain.
Lastly, there are the people who find it satisfying to maintain parallel relationships. Aldert Vrij, a professor at the University of Portsmouth, in England, talks about good liars, who manage to deceive fluently, which reduces the stress that this situation entails. Also, they like the feeling of variety and being able to show different parts of the personality.
But be careful: leading a double life usually brings great stress to the unfaithful. In addition, according to a study by the University of Florence, in the case of men it could also affect heart health: heart attacks occur more during the visit to the lover.
