The young author of the “Rabiat” report deals with the German nursing shortage from a very personal perspective. A TV review.
Frankfurt – People don’t like to think about death, especially not their own. That’s in the nature of things: after all, the meaning of life isn’t to die. In our society, however, the time before that has long been suppressed: most people hope to fall asleep forever in their own four walls, preferably with their loved ones.
A pious wish: Eighty percent of Germans die in nursing homes or hospitals. In fact, most of them miss out on organizing their retirement in good time. In the past, in the days of extended families, this was not an issue, at least in the countryside: Nobody would have thought of asking parents to spend their final years in a home. Because Lena Oldach has the feeling that her mother has no plan, this report from the young Radio Bremen series “Rabiat” was created.
Reportage in the ARD: Author convinces with personal insights
The title “Who cares for Mama?” is meant to be personal, because Oldach’s mother is one of the protagonists. She is 65 and shows no signs of old age; but experience has shown that it will not remain so forever. And then? This question is probably asked by many people around the age of the thirty-year-old author. She lives in Bremen herself, her mother three hours’ drive away in Hesse in a house that once belonged to her own parents. For the two, the subject of old age was always taboo: because they immediately suspected deportation to the home.
Now Lena Oldach is wondering: Do children have a moral obligation to take care of their parents? Because she wants to know how it feels, she visits Sandra near Dortmund. She is 52 and lives under one roof with her mother. Renate was diagnosed with dementia eight years ago; she was in her late sixties then. Since then, things have obviously gone downhill rapidly, and today she needs around-the-clock care. In the mornings, the Caritas day care takes care of the old woman so that Sandra can work, but otherwise she has consistently and completely geared her life to Renate’s needs.
ARD on Monday (August 1): Everyday life in old age – honest documentation about the reality of care
Oldach documents what everyday life looks like. The old woman is hardly mobile anymore, conversations are basically not possible. The relationship between the two is extremely loving, and Sandra apparently has the patience of an angel, but the author soon realizes that it wouldn’t be for her. The report also shows what the alternative would look like: A woman from Dresden tried to look after her 80-year-old father, but at some point had to realize that the responsibility was beyond her strength; and that of her family. Now the old man lives in a home where he is visibly unhappy, and not just because of the monotonous and unpalatable food, in his opinion.
This is “a film without a feel-good factor,” Oldach warns at the beginning, and that’s no exaggeration. The visit to Sandra and Renate in particular leaves no doubt: caring for the elderly is a task that not everyone is up to. The film team is always up close, on the toilet and in the shower. That sounds indiscreet, but it is filmed in such a way that the old woman’s dignity is not compromised. There is a scene far more unpleasant when Sandra is overcome by her feelings and the camera immediately switches to a close-up so as not to miss a tear; this is a form of emotional pornography that has no place in a serious report.
Recommendation for Rabiat on Monday (August 1st): Germany well on the way to the care collapse
Nevertheless, “Who is caring for Mama?” is worth seeing, especially since striking formulations such as “Germany is racing full throttle towards a collapse in the care system” are the exception. In terms of content, the statement is correct anyway: by 2030 there will be six million people in need of care in this country. The state relies on “ambulatory care” and relies on relatives to care for most of the elderly; this could be a rude awakening.
“Rabiat: “Who cares for Mama?”
Where?: ARD
When?: Monday (1 August), 11:15 p.m
Sandra already feels left alone by the state, especially since it also has an impact on her pension when women quit their jobs to look after their parents or in-laws. The added value of the film, however, consists above all in its potential for stimulation. The request to “think about tomorrow today” mostly applies to old-age provision, but of course it is also justified in this context: Anyone who thinks about their place in old age in good time is not only doing themselves a great favor, but also a children, because in this way they are spared an extremely difficult decision. (Tilman P. Gangloff)
