The extraordinary situation of confinement that we are experiencing is not easy, and even less for parents with children at home without being able to leave. In addition to teleworking, or having to go out to work forcibly in some cases, it is added that you have to take care of the house, the duties they have to do, keep them entertained and keep the morale of the family high.
So that we can all feel a little more accompanied and identified, and know how other families are living it, we have asked 17 parents how they are coping with these days of quarantine with their children locked up at home . This is what they have told us:
“We cook much more” (Javier, father of a nine-year-old girl and a seven-year-old boy)
“Both my wife and I have been teleworking for years, so we were half used to doing it at times with children (their vacations that we don’t have), but this is different. First, because there are many days. Second, because since school they have been sending a lot of daily homework so they don’t get too confused.
My wife is much more aware than I am about school until lunchtime. They usually don’t have any more homework at that time, but if they do, they do it after eating. The rest of the day they play and pull screens, but we try to balance despite the fact that the easy thing, of course, is that they play movies, series or pull tablets (at home quite restricted).
In the afternoons, when we finish the day we try to do something together , for example move a little with Just Dance or play a board game, although the little one does not have much patience for that.
The best thing about this situation is that here we are all more or less protected and well. The worst thing is that if before there was a little free time, now those spaces disappear. It can be seen, for example, in that we cook a lot more — the grown-ups quickly get by with anything, with the dwarves eating at home every day things change — but in our case at least they are both little houses (like us) so At the moment everything is very bearable. “
“We have dusted off a lot of board games” (Jesús, father of two 11 and 14-year-old children)
“With two children already” grown up “the organization is not being very complicated, they have assumed that they have to dedicate time to tasks, duties and jobs that the teachers are assigning them. Of course, without dedicating as many hours as in school. this we are flexible, so that they do not get tired and wear it as best as possible.
The rest of the time, we have dusted off a lot of board games and we keep them very distracted and animated. Of course, they also spend time playing consoles and video games, but we try not to “catch” them too much, taking into account that we also try to watch some movies or series together, the kind that we had pending.
To compensate, we also dedicate an hour to activities without “screens”, generally in the afternoon we do some gymnastics, we improvise a ping pong table … any other activity outside of their rooms and with some mobility. Even cook some cake. With all this, we minimize those critical moments where a certain nervousness invades them. “
“It is turning out well by all of us doing our part” (Julio César, father of two children, 12 and 10 years old)
“The oldest is in 1st year of ESO and is teaching telematically with Microsoft Teams. They follow the class schedule as is and it is on their PC, with their work group by chat and conference, and also with the teacher who sends them work respecting every hour.
My 10-year-old daughter is sent an email every day with work on each subject for her to do. He does it on his iPad with the Apple Pencil and when he has it, he sends it to the teacher for correction. When he is not in class, he entertains himself with other things.
In principle, it is not being traumatic. Of course, we had to take the PC out of my office so that I can work without having a child talking all day with his classmates while in class.
When “they are not in class”, the girl is usually with her iPad watching YouTube or Netflix, or playing Minecraft on the console. The child also on his computer, mainly watching YouTube and his things. Disney + has started, so it has opened up “a whole new world” for them. And then when it’s time to help around the house (cleaning, setting the table …) they pitch in.
When they have been with the screens for too long, we tell them to rest and play something together, like board games, we try to get them to read paper books …
We were terrified, but honestly, it is helping us a lot to generate a very interesting family dynamic of coexistence, collaboration, respect for others … In the end, it is turning out well by all of us doing our part “.
“They have understood that they must collaborate more than ever so that everything works” (Ana, mother of two children, ages 8 and 10)
“To be honest, we are taking quarantine better than expected . We try to carry out daily routines. My children get up at their usual time (around 8). They have breakfast, watch the tablet for a while and make Smartick, a math app.
Around 9 or so they start to do homework. Some are those that the school commands, but many are those that his father gives him. They are with them until 11 or so and when they finish they start playing, reading or resting. After eating, they do another hour, hour and a half of homework. When they finish, they do some little chore around the house: vacuuming a room, scrubbing the kitchen, dusting … simple tasks that don’t take a lot of work but they have understood that they must collaborate more than ever to make everything work. “.
After that, I go with them to exercise, between 20 and 30 minutes, depending on the desire or motivation they have. They are simple exercises, but they have also understood that they have to move even when they are locked up, which is good for their health.
From there, they have the afternoon off. They usually have videoconferences with their friends and I have to say that they are doing very well and it is helping them a lot to cope with the situation. We keep the shower, dinner, reading and sleeping routine
For me, the best thing is seeing how well they have adapted to the situation . They get along really well, especially considering that they are children, who do not go out, who have suddenly broken their normal life and routines, who do not exercise, who do not see their friends. And the worst, undoubtedly, is that they have to go through this. That they do not get air, that they cannot go out, play and do sports outdoors … but thanking that we do not know anyone who is suffering from the disease or who has lost a family member because of it “.
“You have to be patient” (Miguel, father of a nine-month-old baby)
“We’ve both been working, but my wife just had an ERTE. Until now we were taking turns, working two hours each, not counting the baby’s naps.
You have to be patient. Babies are not bored, but they demand a lot, you have to be on top all the time. The problem is that at most you can leave him in the crib for 10 minutes without crying, and you can’t put the TV on him or anything like that like a slightly older child.
Also the house is small. Now he begins to crawl and get up and, sure, we let him move around the room, but there is not much space either. Upstairs, the downstairs neighbors are super sensitive to noise and complain all the time, so we have to try to keep it off the carpet. “
“There are times when I am overwhelmed” (Noe, mother of a 3-year-old girl)
“Now we get along better than at the beginning, although I recognize that there are times when I am overwhelmed because my daughter is a very dependent child, who constantly calls me to play or paint. And since she does not entertain herself, I hardly have time for myself Well, my husband teleworks and has a very long schedule.
I’m constantly looking for activities to keep her entertained for a bit, but she loses attention quickly and always wants new things. What is costing me the most is not being able to have the house as neat and clean as always, basically due to lack of time. “
“I flee from educational activities and proposals” (Ana, mother of twins aged 2 and a half, and children aged 5 and 9 years)
“I get along very well because I have little work and I also have help at home. Obviously I have my moments, but I try to relax and dedicate my time to mine.
Personally, I flee from educational activities and proposals because we already have enough with the duties that they send from school. To entertain the children, I opt for free play and lots of moments together to dance, kiss, make constructions and watch a cartoon movie every day. “
“You have to draw strength from anywhere” (Ana, mother of a 5-year-old boy)
“The first days we were doing better because we had many ideas in our heads and we were occupying time in many ways. Now, on the other hand, spirits are falling : we are more worried, sadder, more tired … but we have to draw strength from wherever so that our son does not see us like that.
In general, it is very difficult for my son to get hooked on all those educational or craft-related activities, and if it were up to him, he would be playing the tablet all day, but we try to dose the screen time . In the afternoon, when I stop teleworking, we do activities together. “
“We have an important lack of control of schedules” (Juana, mother of two children of 2 and a half years and 5 years)
We have an important lack of control of schedules. The first week we started well, but now we are going to bed and getting up very late, and this also disrupts all our routines. Our breakfasts are long and we are not in a hurry to get up, and we have changed school at home in the morning for free play.
After lunch is when we do some school activity, as well as downloadable cards or drawings, but I never force them to anything. I perceive this as an opportunity to relax , to live without schedules and to also enjoy moments at home and with the family.
“I’m living very hard days” (Ariana, mother of a 6-year-old boy)
“Quarantine is becoming very difficult for us, due to the personal circumstances that we are having to live in. On the one hand, I work in a hospital, and since I am aware that there is a high possibility of incubating the virus or being Asymptomatic carrier and infecting my husband and my son, I am very short when it comes to being in close contact with them , and that generates a lot of anxiety and sadness.
On the other hand, my son has special needs and does not entertain himself in the same way as other children; he demands a lot of attention and the confinement is getting uphill. I recognize that I am living very hard days, in which I come home from work very emotionally saturated and exhausted, but I must remain active to face the needs of my son “.
“The quarantine is helping us to recover time” (Elena, mother of a 6-year-old boy)
“My son is handling the quarantine very well. In the mornings he reads, draws pictures and crafts with his father while I telecommute, and in general we are enjoying a lot. Before all this happened we spent very little time together due to our jobs , like this that the quarantine is helping us to recover time, to connect and enjoy it a lot as a family and as a couple. As for the screens, at the beginning it was stricter but now I have relaxed more and I leave the tablet to him to talk with his cousins and even play together in the distance.
“I am trying to flow with what happens every day” (Isis, mother of two boys aged 6 and 4)
“We are in survival mode, demanding as little as possible in terms of homework and routines. The truth is that at first it overwhelmed me too much to see the millions of ideas to do with children on all social networks, so I gave up and I’m trying to flow with what happens every day.
Sometimes I go crazy, sometimes there is peace and quiet, so I try to do the early night routine to work a little at night.
This is just beginning and the less expectations we have of children and of the day to day, I think we will do better. “
“Many things come together at the same time” (Lucy, mother of a 5-year-old girl)
“At first it was not difficult to get used to because I have been working from home for three years, so it was very similar to the vacation time when I continue to work with my daughter at home. The difficult thing was trying to do everything I always do without neglecting her and also fulfill the homework they sent from school.
Fortunately, there are not many and he likes to do them, but there comes a time when many things come together for me at the same time (work, food to do, clothes to wash, etc.) and I get overwhelmed. In addition, the fact of suffering from anxiety does not help because the confinement and the uncertainty put me on my nerves. I tried to follow the activity tips recommended by some mothers on social media, but clearly they are only functional for those who do not have work and have time to plan and organize them. I do not. So I basically try to flow and move forward each day, being flexible and keeping realistic expectations. “
“My children are making it very easy for us” (Silvia, mother of three children of 4, 6 and 10 years old)
“To be honest, we are handling the quarantine very well, although logically there are also bad days in which uncertainty about the future joins, with sadness when knowing a close case, a bad day at work or fights between brothers that you They make us despair, but in general, I can’t complain and my children are making it very easy for us.
It was good for us to establish some routines and a schedule of activities from the beginning: my children get up early, have breakfast, do some housework according to their age and then start “home school”, as they call it. While my husband and I telecommute, they are silently by our side doing their homework, and when they finish they go to play until lunchtime.
They have very internalized routines and you don’t have to remind them of anything. Afternoons are to be enjoyed together : we make video calls to grandparents and friends, we dance, we do crafts or we play. Perhaps the oldest is the one who is going through the worst because he misses the school, his teachers and his classmates a lot, but he is aware of the situation and knows that this will eventually happen. “
“I’m enjoying them more time” (Bea, mother of two girls, 4 and 9 years old)
“How do we carry our day to day? Well, how can or does it arise. I have to admit that we are not very strict parents with organization, cleaning and studies, so these days we have chosen to be more flexible .
I work at home as a Pharmaceutical Consultant for several multinationals, so at the moment I do not lack work in the morning and in the afternoon I work in a pharmacy, so my day is quite busy. It is her father who takes care of the housekeeping: meals, clothes, games … while I try to find a space every morning to answer questions about the oldest’s class activities.
The luck we have is that they are very independent, so they entertain themselves by playing. When they get up in the morning, usually early, around 9 o’clock, they have breakfast and the oldest begins to do the homework that was sent to her daily from school the day before. The little girl stands by her side, imitating her, with activities that her father searches on the internet.
When they finish they play for a while and we eat together early because I have to go to work. The three of them stay watching a movie (weekend routine now in quarantine) and when it ends they both start playing in their room: they do dance choreography, sing, paint, invent puppet works that later represent us. ..
The funny thing is that although they were used to going to the park almost every afternoon (when it does not rain, which in Asturias used to be common) they did not claim it from the first day, when we explained what was happening.
I am also enjoying them for a longer time, because before when I returned from the pharmacy they were already in bed and now they are waiting for me and I can enjoy a little more of their company “.
“They have the whole afternoon to themselves” (Angela, two teenagers, 13 and 16 years old)
“I am a nurse in a small hospital in a town in Valencia, which luckily is not saturated as in the rest of the country. That means that my work routine has not changed and I continue with the same shift system.
My husband is self-employed and now he doesn’t have much work, so between the two of us we managed to keep the house running with two teenagers stuck at home every day, unable to go out to play sports or see their friends in person because they are constantly in contact with video calls and online video games.
Diana is here every day at 8 o’clock: breakfast, shower, room cleaning and doing class work until lunchtime. They protest every other day because they have plenty of time, that the institute does not send them so many activities. But it is the norm: read, write, review … But you have to be doing educational tasks until 1:30 pm when we eat.
Afterwards, they have the whole afternoon to themselves. Being forward-looking, we bought a TV for the upper floor and there they have set up “their teenage living room”, with their Play and the computer, and they entertain themselves.
After dinner, it’s time to disconnect and we all start reading our book. I am looking forward to good weather so that we can go out to the backyard and enjoy the outdoors together. “
“You have to take off your hat with the children” (Fernando, father of two girls aged 10 and 7)
“The first thing is that we have slowed down the rhythm of homework. We are doing two-three hours a day. We start the morning with exercise (one day a game of gymnastics wii, another day a YouTube video, another with the program they have put on TVE …), watching movies of all kinds and documentaries and the odd youtuber (they love Altozano), writing stories with exquisite corpses, painting a lot, reading more and especially playing …
They are putting up with it quite well for how small they are and what they like to go out to play . You have to take off your hat with the children. “
In Babies and more | Even if you feel overwhelmed and your strength begins to waver, remember: everything will be fine
