In ‘Babies and More’ we have dealt with the issue of sexual education from childhood on several occasions, as well as the importance of talking with our children about sex naturally and rigorously. But sex remains a thorny topic in family conversations , and more than half of parents admit to feeling uncomfortable talking about it with their children.
This is one of the conclusions that have been obtained from a survey on sex carried out to more than 9,000 parents of children and adolescents by the Platanomelon company. With the help of a sexologist, we find out why it is so difficult for us to talk about sex with our children and what risks this lack of communication can bring .
Parents are not the first source of consultation for our children regarding sex
Talking about sexuality is much more than talking about the body and its changes, genitalia or sexual behaviors. It is a broad human dimension that implies affection and identity, with a strong emotional and affective component.
Although talking about sex with our children should be something essential and natural, for many parents it is a difficult subject to tackle . So much so, that they admit to being aware that when in doubt, their children will not turn to them as the first source of information, turning first to friends (47%) and Google (34%).
This data collected in the survey carried out by the Platanomelón brand coincides with the study ‘Minors and sexual content on the Internet’, promoted by The Family Watch and carried out by the Rey Juan Carlos University in 2018.
In this study it was concluded that although families know that it is important to anticipate and explain to children any questions they have related to sex, in 90% of the cases, young Spaniards end up learning sexuality through the Internet.
The Dangers of Going to the Internet for Sexual Information
And it is that if parents do not rigorously satisfy the doubts that our children present in matters of sex, we run the risk that they end up turning to the Internet as an information source, where the line that separates sex from pornography is very fine.
Not surprisingly, according to another study called ‘New pornography and changes in interpersonal relationships’, prepared in 2019 by the Young People and Social Inclusion Network and the University of the Balearic Islands, 90% of young Spaniards have seen porn before the age of 12 years , and with eight years there are children who have already had access to pornography for the first time.
“The risks come when, by not having sex education references in their immediate environment , young people – and not so young – learn that pornography can be a guide. It is as if we learned to drive by watching a Fast & Furious movie” – explains the sexologist, Monica Branni
“Viewing pornography without references or affective and sexual education can make certain issues that do not have to be reality internalize . First, that sexual relations are mostly between men and women, excluding sexual diversity and the wide range of existing realities. On the other hand, the bodies and genitalia that we see in porn may become a benchmark against which to compare reality: normative genitalia and sizes above the average , among others “
Why is it so hard for us to talk about sex with our children?
For the sexologist Mónica Branni, the main reason why parents find it uncomfortable to talk about sex with our children is due to the sexual education we receive in our childhood and adolescence .
But in addition to this, parents have the belief that when talking about sexuality with their children, they can begin to have a greater interest and start an active sexual life early . However, for the sexologist, the information is never harmful but quite the opposite:
“Another of the great concerns of parents is that, when talking about sexuality to their children, they begin to have a sexually active life or, in the worst case, inappropriate sexual behaviors. But we must bear in mind that more information , more tools to make more conscious, healthy and happy decisions “
Adolescence is an especially relevant stage as far as sexual matters are concerned. Although at this age it is usual for our children to already have a general knowledge about sex, it is normal for them to want to know more and ask us or seek information to satisfy their curiosity.
It is in our hands to provide them with the information they need naturally and rigorously, either through talks, sex education books or any other resource or tool according to their age that we believe can help us.
Correct information and a climate of communication based on trust will avoid, not only the early consumption of pornography, but also unwanted pregnancies and sexual practices that put your health and that of others at risk.
Photos | iStock
Via | Platanomelon
In Babies and More | The 13 things you should not do if you are a parent of a teenager, My young son touches his genitals in public and at home: keys to managing it, The 11 things your teenager wants you to know
