Living a pregnancy in a pandemic is not easy, and neither is giving birth in these turbulent times that we are living. But if we add to these circumstances that you are a single mother and that the birth of your baby is involved in endless obstacles and complications, the result is one of those stories that directly touches the heart .
The story of Mª Ángeles is the story of a brave woman, who not only decided to face motherhood alone, but despite the difficulties she experienced during her pregnancy and childbirth, she has never lost her smile and optimism.
For this reason, and to commemorate the next Mother’s Day holiday, we wanted to give a voice in this space and pay tribute with their history to all those pregnant women or those who are struggling to be mothers in these times of COVID , because despite the fear , the uncertainty or the “darkness” that is outside, life continues to make its way thanks to them.
I never considered being a single mother, but circumstances led me down that path
Mª Ángeles is from Valencia, she is 45 years old and according to her she affirms she was never in her plans to be a single mother . But in recent years his life has been marked by a series of circumstances that led him to make that decision.
“In November 2019, when I just turned 44, is when I decided that I wanted to be a single mother. I began to find out about the different treatments and clinics and finally I opted for Equipo Juana Crespo. In December they did the extraction of oocytes, but not they were able to transfer the embryos to me at that time because I was going to undergo uterine surgery and needed a few months of recovery “
And it is that Mª Ángeles had a uterine malformation, for which the doctors had advised her to have surgery before getting pregnant in order to increase the success rate. Her uterus operation took place in January 2020 and the embryo transfer was scheduled for March. But then the pandemic broke out .
Fertility treatments stopped when the pandemic started
Due to the initial chaos caused by the outbreak of the pandemic, fertility treatments were suspended, and Mª Ángeles was one of the many women in Spain who was affected by this fact.
Dr. Juana Crespo, gynecologist specialized in reproductive medicine and founder of the Valencian fertility clinic, Equipo Juana Crespo, explains how the professionals in this area lived those initial moments :
“It was an avalanche of uncertainty from all points of view. Furthermore, as the virus had started in China, we had little information . Reproductive medicine professionals did not know if the coronavirus could affect the quality of oocytes, semen or sperm cells. embryos, or if it could harm the pregnancy in any way “
” During the first month of the pandemic, my life focused on studying and learning the behavior of the coronavirus in reproductive cells. As we got information, we calmed down and we also calmed our patients”
And precisely that feeling of tranquility and confidence is something that Mª Ángeles highlights from the medical team that treated her when her long-awaited transfer could finally take place:
“I decided to undergo the treatment without notifying my family or friends, but despite the circumstances we were experiencing and how hard it is to go through this process alone, my experience at the clinic was very pleasant. They treated me with great affection. and empathy, and I was always informed about everything . “
In the month of May his positive was confirmed. Mª Ángeles was finally pregnant .
” From March to May I experienced very hard months emotionally for various reasons . In January I had started a new professional career and had just created my own company. With the outbreak of the pandemic, my company was affected, as was my career professional and the people who worked for me . “
“At the same time, my desire to be a mother had been interrupted and my mind was full of worries ; not only those derived from the situation in which we had suddenly all been involved, but doubts about my future motherhood and job uncertainty .”
“It took me four months to break the news of my pregnancy”
As a result of all the tension accumulated over months, Mª Ángeles decided to keep her positive test secret until the fourth month of pregnancy, when the doctors assured her that everything was fine and there was no longer any risk.
” The first months of pregnancy were very hard . I was not physically well, and I also suffered a thyroid problem. On the other hand there was COVID, which logically scared me given my new situation. But the doctors recommended that, within circumstances, lead a normal life and try to live my pregnancy in the most relaxed way possible, also on an emotional level “ .
When he communicated the news to family and friends, one of the things that caught his attention was repeatedly hearing the same phrase: “It is the best news we could receive after such a hard year .”
“It really surprised me that something as intimate as someone else’s pregnancy could make so many people happy. It was very nice! From that moment on everyone turned to me. Every time I needed something I found someone to help me, and especially the people were very careful when they interacted with me, avoiding putting me in risky situations “ .
“What weighs me the most of all was the birth I had”
In the last pregnancy check-ups the doctors began to see that something was wrong . Mª Ángeles was losing amniotic fluid and her baby was not growing as expected due to a digestive problem, so on January 19 they decided to induce labor, three weeks before the expected date. After 10 hours of induction, the labor ended in caesarean section and the baby was taken directly to the NICU.
” I am sad that I do not remember my birth with the beauty with which most mothers remember it. The medical team that treated me was wonderful, but the circumstances surrounding the birth of my daughter clouded the moment .
“First of all because of the fact that I ended up in a cesarean section after so many hours of labor. Second, because of the cesarean section itself, because I had a drop in blood pressure and I barely have clear memories of what happened. And third, because of the fact that to have my baby taken to the ICU. The saddest memory is when they taught me my daughter for a few seconds and took her away without even being able to touch her . “
Mother and daughter were separated after the birth by COVID protocol
On the day of delivery, both Mª Ángeles and the person she had chosen to accompany her to the delivery room underwent a negative PCR test. However, the day after the birth, that person had to have a new PCR at work and the result this time was positive.
“There is the terrible coincidence that my room was located right in front of the neonatal ICU. Every day I heard the parents enter the ICU to see their children and at night I heard the admitted babies cry, while I was at the hospital. another from the door, completely alone . “
Mª Ángeles was admitted to the hospital for six days, as her gynecologist extended her stay so that she could be close to her daughter. During that time, several PCRs were performed, but despite being always negative, she did not have permission to visit her baby in the ICU , breastfeed her directly (she had to express her milk every three hours) or do skin-to-skin.
She only saw her baby from time to time through video calls made by healthcare personnel:
“Those moments gave me life, because the days I spent alone in the hospital were extremely hard. So much so that sometimes I collapsed and all I did was cry. One day, a nurse saw me crying inconsolably and since then it began to ask me how I was doing or if I needed to talk . “
“There were professionals who were really good to me, although I also felt the cold and dehumanized treatment of other people who forgot that, behind the door of a room, there was a lonely and isolated mother, who had not even had the opportunity to kiss or hold your baby “
When you are discharged, but your baby must stay in the hospital
Although the digestive problems that her baby was born with were solved as the days went by, problems with bilirubin emerged later that forced her to stay longer in the NICU. So when Mª Ángeles was discharged, her baby had to stay there longer.
” Due to the positive of my companion in the delivery , the doctors told me that I had to remain in isolation for 10 days, even though my PCR’s had come out negative. So after I was discharged I isolated myself at home for four more days, which were those that I had left to finish my confinement . “
After ten admission to the neonatal ICU , Mª Ángeles’s baby was discharged. Her mother went to the hospital to pick her up, but not before undergoing another PCR test that again came out negative. Even so, as a precaution, she decided to extend the use of the mask for two more days and it was not until the 12th when she was finally able to kiss her baby .
Fortunately, Mª Ángeles tells me that the protocol of the hospital where she gave birth has changed in recent months and they no longer separate mothers from their babies when there are suspicions of positive or positive. And it is that the WHO has warned on several occasions that the separation of mother and baby is not justified in these cases, and even recommends breastfeeding in COVID-positive mothers.
Based on this, the Ministry of Health also updated its recommendations for a safe delivery long ago, and even the association ‘El Parto es Nuestro’ has threatened to take legal action against the hospitals that separated for this reason.
Their first Mother’s Day together
Because from the moment she made the decision to be a single mother , this woman has never given up on the adversities that have arisen and has fought not to collapse when things get complicated. Now, mother and daughter are tremendously happy and enjoy the day to day together.
“My experience with motherhood has been wonderful. My baby is beautiful inside and out and is the best thing that has happened to me in life. It has not been easy, but despite everything, 2020 has been a good year for me, because she has brought me the best of gifts: my daughter . “
Photos | iStock
In Babies and More | They separate a newborn from its mother because the father tested positive for Covid-19: failure to comply with WHO recommendations, Being born premature in times of Covid: the impact of restrictions in NICUs during the pandemic, Family rooms in the ICU neonatal hospital at the 12 de Octubre Hospital: pioneering initiative in Spain
