The mother’s face is practically covered by an industrial mask with valves and a protective screen. She appears with her eyes closed, exhausted by what it means to take care of her son and at the same time deal with the physical and mental exhaustion from what she is experiencing in her health work. Meanwhile, her baby eats quietly without being surprised by the surreal appearance of her mother, looking at her with devotion.
This is the photo of Mandi Tuhro, Missouri Baptist Medical Center ICU nurse, taking advantage of a break from work to breastfeed her baby. It has become a symbol, the image of what it means to be a mother in times of coronavirus.
Because the pandemic is being very difficult for everyone, but especially for health professionals. If you also have a family and work in a hospital, things get more complicated if you keep breastfeeding.
“The good, the bad and the ugly of being a working mother”
“The love and joy that motherhood brings is an indescribable feeling. And so is guilt, emotional turmoil, the hormonal roller coaster and lack of sleep.”
This is the life of Mandi, the protagonist of the photograph, and she admits that this is how she is “captured in a photo.”
He explains that “since the beginning of time, people have used symbols and images to represent life in their time. This is mine. This was my life during this time (pandemic).”
It is a true reflection of the experience I have had. It cannot be debated. Each has its own story. “
With these words this mother and nurse tells on Instagram why she decided to publish it and her surprise to see that she had become an example of a working mother, shared on numerous websites as Life after Birth did in its post on International Women’s Day, “along with photos of other women of different colors, shapes, sizes, experiences; all walking through different paths of life.”
He assures that his experiences in the last year have been shocking and uncomfortable, but they have helped him grow.
She explains her story in St. Louis Magazine, where she says “this image sums up my experience as a new mother.”
She also goes on to talk about her problems to reconcile breastfeeding with her work or the adventures she has to go through to get her milk, with which many mothers identify.
The harshness of breastfeeding without experience in an ICU
“In a busy ICU, I have to trust other people to take the time to take care of my patients, as well as their own, so that I can go pump for a period of time long enough to produce enough milk. “.
It is one of the harsh confessions of this mother and nurse who explains that she pumps her milk while driving to work loaded with “my work bag, my lunch bag, my pump bag, my mask and my purse.”
And, as she admits, she returns to express milk in the car on the way home: “At work, I’m desperate to get home. At home, I’m dealing with anxiety about work.”
The pros and cons of being a mother in a pandemic
Mandi explains that she and her husband went through maternity leave in a bubble, while “they brought our food home and we went out to buy the essentials.”
“The uninterrupted time we spent together during those months is priceless. However, the toll of home confinement put additional pressure as a new mother to do it all alone.”
She admits that being her first child, she was ignorant of many things and had a hard time doing other basics, such as getting her baby to latch on well, so she was not gaining weight. She acknowledges that she suffered from postpartum depression, thinking “I’m not doing a good job.”
All this fear, insecurity, effort and learning, is what hides this magnificent image of Mandi, a new mother who works in the ICU and continues to breastfeed her baby, who has her completely exhausted and who still remembers the pain of putting on her breastfeeding day and night postpartum because she did not receive breastfeeding counseling.
This is this woman who has become a symbol of other mothers and who admits that she felt a lot of anxiety about going back to work, but that she had to do it “to feed my family and pay my mortgage.”
And we are also left with a final reflection, where she assures that over time she has gotten used to it and breastfeeding became easier little by little, trying not to be a perfect mother.
I “became” a hero and a front-line worker against my will in the other main area of my life: my career. Right now there is not a single facet of my life where I am not needed. I am determined to find the balance. “
Via | St. Louis Magazine
Photos | @Mandy Thuro / iStock
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