In the education of children, more attention is usually paid to the academic results they obtain in school than to their abilities in emotional intelligence, an ability that will undoubtedly be as or more important than the first to have a happy life.
Childhood is a time when it is necessary to lay the foundations for solid emotional health . Teaching them to connect with their emotions and manage them is a task that we must put into practice from a young age, but many parents do not know how to do it. To do this, we give you seven keys to prevent our children from being emotionally illiterate .
Emotional education from birth
Emotional education is not something that is usually taught in school as just another subject, although it would be a good idea. It is a learning that children are assimilating from the day they are born , depending on how they relate to their environment and with other people.
Emotional intelligence develops as it is practiced, and it has great benefits. Among other things, it helps them to be more empathetic and sociable people, to have greater confidence in themselves and that will most likely contribute to them being happier people. Attentive to these seven keys to develop emotional intelligence in children .
1) Connect with your baby
The baby’s brain is completely moldable during the first years and feeds on the experiences it receives from its environment. The hugs and caresses we give (and those we don’t give), the way we address them and even the words we use generate neural connections that trace their brain map.
For this reason, emotional intelligence is taught from the cradle , or rather, from the womb. If you are pregnant or have a newborn baby, connecting with your baby and making him feel loved is the foundation of a secure bond. Simple gestures like looking at you, talking to you, and reacting to your emotions are ways to start developing your emotional intelligence.
2) listen to your child
A key issue in emotional education is that example is almost everything. Just as you treat your children, they will treat others. As empathic as you are with him, he will be with others. How do we want children to listen to others, if we ourselves do not listen to them?
Making them feel that we listen to them and are there to attend to their needs is very important. Unhook from the mobile and put into practice the active listening method, with which we get at the child’s level and look him in the eye to establish contact and listen to him in an open and positive way.
3) Help your child identify his emotions
It is essential that children from a very young age train the ability to identify and name their feelings , and to be able to express and accept them.
Start with the simplest feelings like anger, sadness or happiness and then add more complex emotions like frustration, disappointment, etc. You can do it through games or books, and little by little, put it into practice in everyday life situations.
4) Help your child express his emotions
Sometimes they don’t even know what is really happening to them and they react by crying or tantrum because it is the only way they know to express their frustrations. Therefore, it is important that, hand in hand with the above, teach them to identify their emotions, we also work on the way they express them.
Indistinctly, if it is a question of boys or girls (there are still certain sexist prejudices when it comes to educating boys and girls), they should know that nothing happens to cry, feel vulnerable, be afraid or feel frustrated. Like happiness, negative emotions are normal feelings that children experience in certain situations and it is our job as parents to help them express them freely .
We should never minimize or belittle their emotions, much less make fun of them. Trust and respect are essential to be able to accompany our children as they need.
5) Teach and show empathy
Again we return to the example of parents. Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the place of the other and here more than ever, it is clear that if you are empathetic with your children, they will be empathic with others.
Empathic people are able to understand the other, be moved and share emotions without judgment. Empathize with your child, nod your head and put yourself in his place, let him know that you understand his problem, whether or not we agree with his vision. Regardless of whether or not we validate your reaction , we always connect with your needs.
6) Always be supportive
Contrary to what may be believed, emotional attachment in childhood is not a sign of weakness, but quite the opposite. Children with a rich emotional education in childhood, children who have been hugged, held, who have been caressed and listened to, will have better tools to function in adult life when they let go of the hand of Mom and Dad.
Meanwhile, (and even if they grow up, it will not be stopped) showing our children our unconditional support is a great way to educate emotionally healthy beings. We must educate them to be autonomous and make their own decisions, always showing our support.
7) Don’t forget physical contact
The theory is fine, but emotional intelligence is not educated without the practice of physical contact. Caresses, kisses, massages and hugs are food that our children need as much as eating or sleeping.
Our closeness, being affectionate with them gives them security and confidence, gives them a feeling of well-being and generates positive emotions in them .
In Babies and more | The importance of educating girls in emotional intelligence, Boys with higher emotional intelligence have fewer attention problems
