You just have to take a look around us to realize how much the family model has changed in our country in recent years. Traditional families with one or more children now coexist with childless marriages, parents with children without a marriage bond, single-parent families, rebuilt families, transnational families, homosexual couples with children …
On the occasion of the International Day of the Family we wanted to interview several of these family models, in order to bring you closer to their reality and particularities. Because all families are unique and wonderful !
A traditional family … and very large!
According to the latest data from the Ministry of Health, Social Services and Equality, there are a total of 609,474 large families with a valid title, of which almost 70 percent have three children, followed by 11 percent who have four and almost one. three percent who have five.
But Isis’s family does not belong to any of these percentages, but is part of the 0.6 percent of Spanish families with six children , who in their case have ages between 9 years and two months of life.
When I ask this mother blogger what family means to her, and what she likes most about the great family she has built, she answers the following:
” The family is that place where each one is loved without conditions or reservations . That love begins with the parents, who give each other totally, giving their whole life and even their own person to the other. That dimension of love is transmitted also to the children, since they are welcomed because of who they are, not because they meet any quality standard or because they have certain qualities.
” In the family you learn to be fully a person , to see others as an end and not as a means, to suffer and rejoice for the other, to seek the common good and not just your own, to love those who are different and do it even when it hurts or when things don’t go our way. “
“I never thought that I would have such a big family and I feel very lucky for that. What I like the most, without a doubt, are the seven people who are part of it together with me: each one of them is unique, has a special and unmistakable personality. It is a world to discover and I would not change it for anything “
A family of three
In Spain there are approximately 2.91 million couples with only one child , and this group includes Marta and Raúl, who were always very clear that their family model would consist of the couple and an only child.
” My partner and I decided, a priori, to have an only child and that has not affected the development or sociability of our child. And he does not miss having siblings. I believe that trust between members of a family unit and a model of education based on respect are the basis and foundation for the family to maintain itself “- says Marta.
Single parent families
According to the latest data from the National Institute of Statistics, in Spain there are about two million single-parent families and in most cases the head of the family is the mother. This is the case of Montse, a single mother of a three-year-old boy who already moved us a few weeks ago with her story.
For Montse, “the family is what one creates, beyond blood ties .” She is especially happy with her family model , and when we ask her what she would highlight about him, she does not hesitate to answer the following:
“What I like most about my family is the special bond that my son and I have. The complicity that unites us, seeing my gestures reflected in him, and realizing what I am doing, creating and training by looking at him. “
Divorced parents with children
According to the latest data from the National Institute of Statistics, in 2016 there were more than 100,000 couples who decided to end their relationship , through divorce, annulment or separation processes.
Of the couples that separate, 60% have children and in this group are Yolanda and her ex-partner, parents of a seven-year-old girl, who despite their personal differences have decided to continue to maintain their friendship for the sake of his daughter.
“Although my ex-partner has a legally stipulated visitation regime, I prefer that he see his daughter whenever he wants , because my daughter has the right to enjoy her parents whenever she feels like it and without strict conditions or schedules established by a judge. In addition, the three of us try to make plans together on some weekends , such as eating out, going to the movies or going on an excursion. We also go on vacation together for a few days a year and we enjoy it a lot “- Yolanda tells me.
Gay couples with children
According to the latest data published by the National Institute of Statistics, homosexual couples in our country increased by two percent in 2016 compared to the previous year. Of these, 30 percent are made up of women, some of whom resort to fertilization or adoption techniques to become mothers.
This is the case of Jana and Vero, two women mothers of a child who are committed to love and diversity, and who tell on their blog, “Oh! MamiBlue”, and on their social networks how they spend their day to day.
“What I like most about my family model is that we have chosen it freely and out of love, and that I share my life with the person who complements me and makes me really happy” – explains Vero.
Reconstituted families
7.4 percent of couples in Spain are reconstituted, that is, the man, the woman or both bring children to the home from previous relationships . In 71 percent of the cases it is the woman who contributes them, in 25.6 percent it is the man and in 3.4 percent it is both.
And in the widest percentage is Verónica, blogger and one of the creators of the Association “Mothers Separadas”, and mother of three children, being the greatest fruit of a first relationship.
“The family is what each one builds and models according to their reality and circumstances. For me, the family is the place where I give and receive unconditional love, the place that gives you and in which you shelter, Everything, the family is unity. In this case, I will tell you that very rarely we go to separate places. All our plans are always in family. We are a symbiosis of five. “
When Verónica separated from her first husband, her baby was only one and a half months old, and three years old when she married her current partner, the father of her other two children. For her, that moment was especially emotional and she refers to it as “a wedding of three .”
“One of the things I like the most about my family is seeing how my husband has adopted the role of father with my eldest son . And I have always made it clear that my eldest son and I were an indivisible pack. And to see how that has never been a problem for him, but quite the opposite, at the level of the couple it is a very important reinforcement “.
Transnational families
The recent economic crisis has forced many families to separate in search of job opportunities outside our borders , giving rise to a family model known as “transnational”.
This is the case of Alejandra and her husband, parents of three children, who had to separate for work reasons after four years of economic uncertainty due to unemployment.
“When I became pregnant with my third child, my husband had the possibility of working outside the home for long periods of time and that is how we began to live apart. It was a very hard stage , because I lived the pregnancy alone with two small children, I gave birth alone and faced a puerperium without any help. “
“Two years later, they gave him the option of permanently leaving Spain, thanks to a very good job opportunity that represented an important change for our family economy. But this new model of life also brought about the separation of our family : he in Edinburgh and my children and I in Spain.
Now, almost four years after living apart or seeing each other very occasionally, Alejandra and her children have moved to live in Edinburgh and her family is back together and together again. When I ask this mother blogger what positive aspects she would highlight from her experience, she does not hesitate to answer:
“Since their father was not present, I had to be the father and mother of my children, getting involved and being present 100% and 24 hours a day . And that has made me develop skills and abilities that I never thought I had. Now I am very far-sighted, and I anticipate problems before they occur. I have also generated a great capacity to resolve conflicts, and I have become very organizational “
In Babies and More Times change: 42.5% of babies are born to unmarried couples, Single-parent families want to match the numerous in tax benefits, yours, mine, ours (but without problems): Guide to reconstituted families, Gay parents
