As of April 27, children will be able to go out, in a controlled manner and only up to 14 years of age. So at least for now the teenagers will have to stay home.
It is true that they are no longer children and that they understand the reasons why they cannot see their friends or play sports outside, although that does not mean that the state of alarm does not affect them, and a lot.
This is what the psychologist Pilar Conde points out , who adds that precisely during adolescence our children need autonomy and independence, something really complicated now, when they have to stay at home all day, together with those adults (us) with whom they do not understand each other. .
So he gives us some tips to help them pass the time of # StayAtHome , and explains why the confinement is so hard for teenagers.
Separated from their friends
In adolescence, one lives up to date, in the short term, in the intensity of social and affective relationships. At these ages, friendships are crucial for development.
In addition, everything revolves immediately: hangouts with friends, sports in high school … And this instant search for happiness is compounded by the desire for new experiences . This is how Pilar Conde, director of the Origin clinics, explains it, pointing out associated problems.
For this reason, in these days of confinement, the expert recommends the search for a balance between the rules of the house and a certain permissiveness in terms of spaces and times, to avoid a feeling of powerlessness and suffocation from seizing them.
Lack of empathy
The adolescent is not a bad child, far from it. But he is at that stage, explains the psychologist, in which “his focus is directed towards himself, which makes it more difficult to make him understand the importance of being at home to help others.”
If we add to this that the media insist on the incidence of the disease in the elderly, they end up thinking that they are not at risk, so they can tolerate confinement worse. For this reason, he points out that his frustration can be increased by a lack of understanding before the imposed norms. Recommends us:
“It is better not to try to impose ourselves with our opinions, but to use as a reference that of the experts and the decisions that are made and why they are taken. It can help to watch with them some type of video, information or documentary that helps them understand of what is happening. “
10 ideas to make their confinement easier
1.- Validate their emotional states. It is normal that they feel frustrated, that it does not seem fair to them. Not telling them how to feel. It’s good to tell them that we know it’s not fair, but that you have to decide how you want to deal with it.
2.- Agree with them on healthy habits. It is true that they spend more time in their room and hooked on the game console or mobile. Boredom makes them (and all of us) peck more and make more trips to the pantry.
You have to be more permissive, but without neglecting your diet. Prepare healthy dishes for them and agree on hygiene and food standards with them. For example, although the daily shower is recommended if one day they skip it, do not get into a rage, understanding that they are also dejected. Of course: no staying in pajamas.
3.- Allow them to have contact with their friends, as well as to carry out dynamics between them. That is, if it is playing online games together or doing dances or singing, you have to be permissive. Although it involves more noise than we would like.
4.- Tolerate having privacy in your room. You are serving lockdown, but you need to spend time without parental supervision.
5.- Do not enter your room without asking permission and less if we hear things that you are talking about with your friends. It is important that you perceive that you are intimate to develop your emotions, typical of age.
6.- A complaint period can be established per day. Ok now you have these 20 minutes to complain about the situation and we are not going to refute you.
7.- Talk about what is happening , respect their opinions and take them into account. We must make an effort to maintain positive communication with them, listen to them consciously and treat them with the utmost empathy and respect.
8.- As for homework , it is advisable to trust your responsibility to organize and distribute study and free time.
9.- Agree on a minimum time for joint leisure. Watching series or movies with them, practicing physical exercise as a family, playing board games or listening to their favorite singers, can be some good examples to motivate them and strengthen our relationship.
10.- Talk about being unconfined , if that helps them to cope with it. If they are already expressing their wishes for new experiences out loud, even fantasizing and exaggerating, the right thing to do is to tell them that when the time comes it will be valued and that the current circumstances will be taken into account in making a decision . If something is not going to be possible, such as traveling without adult supervision, it is better to make it clear now.
Photos | iStock
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