Before becoming a mother, I always imagined myself with more than one child. Having a sister, the normal thing for me has always been to have a partner for games, mischief and adventures. But for various issues in life, I am currently only the mother of a girl, something that has filled me with much joy and happiness.
However, although we are happy just being the two of us, many people do not think it is enough. And even though I don’t think her comments have negative intentions, I sometimes find it annoying that they assume her life is incomplete because she is an only child .
So today, I share with you a reflection in which I explain why, even though I am open to having more children, I do not like it when they say that my daughter “needs” a little brother .
“He needs a little brother”
I do not want to be misunderstood, I am not denied that my daughter has a partner. As I said at the beginning, I always envisioned myself with more than one child, but for now, after a divorce, life and circumstances have led us to only be her and me .
But despite my desire to have more children one day, I do not consider that children “need” to have a sibling . It is true, a brother is the best gift we can give a child, but it does not mean that we are bad parents if in the end we are left with only one child.
I understand that many times this type of comment comes from people who, like me, have siblings and shared a childhood together. It is true, it is nice to have someone to share and have fun with when you are a child , because the fun multiplies and the mischief too.
I also understand that these kinds of comments arise from concern about the emotional development of the child , since some people consider that being only children there is a greater risk that children grow up being selfish or capricious, since they have no one to share with within home.
But even though I can try to understand the motives behind those comments about how nice it would be to have a partner, I find it annoying that they make a negative of this and insist on the “lack” or “need” of a sibling .
What a child needs (with or without siblings)
Let’s be clear: children don’t need a sibling. It is true, it is nice to share childhood and grow together, but as much as being a necessity , I don’t think so. Having a brother or not is not something that defines the kind of person you will be , nor does it guarantee a harmonious relationship between the two of you if you have one.
If a child has a baby brother, because his parents have decided to do so and could have him, excellent. But we must stop seeing having only one child as something negative, selfish or that can make a child’s childhood unhappy . Because when we talk about the true needs of a child, these are usually the same whether they have siblings or not.
What a child needs, that is, what is really essential for their happiness and well-being is love, respect, company, care and attention , among many other things. And all that can be obtained with or without siblings, because they are things that he receives at home, through his family.
The number of children, as we have discussed on other occasions, is a decision that depends solely on the parents. And although I do not close the door to having more children one day, I appreciate that you stop insisting that only children “need” a sibling , because at the end of the day, what matters is that the children are well, with or without siblings.
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | Why should we stop asking couples without children the “And you, by when?” Why are there more and more only children?
