Breastfeeding has lights and shadows. It is wonderful, but there are hard times. And weaning can be one of them. If we let the baby decide, it is rare that he decides to wean before the age of two, especially if he has exclusively breastfed for six months and then on demand.
However, sometimes mothers want (or are forced) to wean earlier. And then doubts assail us and we feel guilty. How to manage the weaning as well as possible? How to prevent the baby (and ourselves) from suffering?
When is it time to wean?
WHO recommends maintaining exclusive breastfeeding for up to six months and together with other foods for up to two years or more whenever the mother and baby wish.
Contrary to what many believe, the properties of breast milk remain stable over time and the composition of the milk is adapted to the needs of the child. Thus, breast milk from the year has even more calories. Therefore, the reason for weaning should never be that the milk no longer feeds.
Weaning can occur by maternal decision or by decision of the baby; in rare cases, weaning should be forced (for example, medical treatment or a serious illness of the mother that makes breastfeeding impossible). A large part of the drugs are compatible with breastfeeding, so it is advisable to ascertain the need to wean.
If we let the children suckle until they wanted, natural weaning would occur between 2 and a half and 7 years of age , according to different studies. Some children are weaned overnight and other children have a more progressive process.
A common reason why a baby can be weaned is a new pregnancy from the mother. Milk production drops a lot around the third or fourth month of pregnancy, which is why more than half of babies who are breastfeeding at that time stop.
I have decided that I want to wean my baby, how do I do it?
The best way to wean, whenever possible, is progressively . In this way, the breast adapts to produce less each time and we prevent engorgement or mastitis from appearing.
As we know, the lower the suction, the lower the production ; In addition, when the breast does not empty, a substance is released that signals the body not to produce more milk.
If during weaning we notice a very engorged and painful breast, we can express a little milk (manually with a pump) to be comfortable (and avoid mastitis), but without emptying it completely (because then the body would interpret that the baby continues to suckle and needs to produce more milk).
Does the pill “cut the milk” work?
This medicine prevents the increase in prolactin in the blood after childbirth , which is what causes the rise in milk. But if breastfeeding is already established, it is useless.
Thus, the pill “to cut the milk” would only work after childbirth, for mothers who have previously decided that they do not want to breastfeed their baby (and despite this, the rise in milk often continues, as there are other stimuli which can raise prolactin).
Mentalizing before weaning
Weaning is not always easy and, if we want to do it in a respectful way, it sometimes takes longer than we would like.
When it is the mother who decides to wean the baby (or child), it is important to keep in mind that he has not decided. And therefore we must be especially understanding and have extra patience. You are going to need a lot of love! In addition, we must be clear that breastfeeding is not only food , but also attachment, bond, security, affection and we must be able to provide all this in another way.
If we want to do a respectful weaning, not just any moment . Many times the desire to wean comes from some important change, for example, returning to work, a vacation or the arrival of another baby, but in this way we would be adding two stressful situations for our son or daughter.
Therefore, it is preferable to do it when everything else is stable and not in times of crisis. It may also happen that we decide to wean and later realize that it is not the ideal time; there is no problem in rectifying and trying again later.
Tips for a respectful weaning
Most of the time we don’t know how to start a weaning. With smaller babies, less than six months old, it can be easier: we can gradually substitute breast milk for formula. Some will reject the bottle at first; they are more likely to accept it if the mother is not present and if another caregiver offers it.
With babies and older children, this is often more difficult, but there are several strategies that can help us:
- Don’t offer, don’t deny . We are not going to be the ones to offer you breast, but if you ask us, we will not deny you. It is a very good option for a respectful weaning, but it is usually a long process,
- Distract We do not offer you and when you ask we try to distract you. We can offer him water or other food, get him a toy, or offer ourselves for a walk. If despite this the child continues to claim, we will give.
- Avoid the moment . There are mothers who know perfectly well when their children are going to ask for the breast: when I get home from work, when I sit on the couch … So one strategy is to avoid those moments or change that routine.
- Talk to them : older children understand much more than we think. We can calmly explain to them that it is time to wean, that we are not comfortable breastfeeding and that we no longer like it; that we love being with them but doing other things (and we can try to dedicate extra time to them so that they feel safe). We must avoid lying to them (for example, mother has a pupa and that is why I cannot breastfeed you).
- Read a story . The stories are wonderful for almost anything and in the weaning issue we also have some that can help us, such as La teta cansada by Montse Reverte, Tetita by Diana Oliver or La FiesTETA by Miriam Tirado.
The partyTETA: 1 (Calita)
Weaning with help is always easier
Many mothers confess to me that they feel very alone when breastfeeding. And everything would be much easier if they felt supported. Weaning will also be easier if we have the support of our partner, family and / or friends.
If we need help, we can turn to a lactation consultant or IBCLC, midwife, nurse or pediatrician with knowledge of lactation. And breastfeeding groups are great support for any stage of breastfeeding including weaning.
On the IHAN website you can consult the support groups by provinces and there are also several La Liga de Leche groups in different parts of Spain; Another option is to share experiences online, through groups on social networks.
In Babies and more | Why breastfeeding is advised for up to two years or more
