The extended phrase "I forgive, but I do not forget" that we use to justify resentment towards something that has bothered us, is meaningless from the prism of science. According to a study carried out by the University of Saint Andrews, in Scotland, forgiving an act of injury towards our person makes it easier for it to disappear from our thoughts . This finding would be especially useful to women, who are the ones who have a greater capacity for granting forgiveness.
From the perspective of cognitive science, the ability to overcome intense negative emotions and to nullify retaliation are seen as an executive control function. The researchers wanted to see if this mechanism was also involved in forgetting these memories. In the experiment, 30 participants imagined that they were victims of a series of hypothetical incidents, such as slander, infidelity and theft, and indicated whether they would forgive the person responsible for it. The scientists applied a standard procedure, frequently used in memory research, in which they instructed participants to intentionally forget specific information or details in stories. The results showed a higher rate of forgetfulness for misdeeds that had been forgiven versus those that remained condemned when participants were prompted to stop thinking about them.
According to the authors, the difficulty would lie more in acquitting those who hurt us of guilt than in eliminating the painful memory from our memory. This discovery could be the key to therapeutic tools that allow us to forget at will.
