This daily moving to Arizona has found its way around emails and the Internet thousands of times. I’ve seen so many versions for so many cities (even a snowy version for Wisconsin) that I’m sure it can’t be attributed to any one author anymore. I certainly didn’t write it!
However, people moving to Arizona can easily identify with him. You better read this, this could be your journal!
Arizona Journal
May 15: Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm warm nights. Mountains and deserts mixed. What place! I watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I finally found my home. I like it here.
June 14: really heating up. Got to 108 today. It is not a problem. You live in an air-conditioned house, you drive an air-conditioned car, you work in an air-conditioned office. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I am becoming a true sun worshiper.
June 30: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cacti and rocks. What a breeze to keep. No more pruning for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10: the temperature has not been below 100 throughout the week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it’s a dry heat. Getting used to this takes longer than I expected.
July 15: I fell asleep by the pool. I have third degree burns over 60% of my body. I lost two days of work; What a silly thing to do. However, I learned my lesson: I have to respect the old sun in a climate like this.
July 25: dry heat, my ass. Hot is hot! The A / C in the house is on and the A / C repairman charged $ 250 just to drive around and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30: I’ve been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights. $ 1,600 in goddamn house payments and we can’t even get in. Why did I come here?
August 4: 115 degrees! I finally got the air conditioning fixed today. It costs $ 1,200 and drops the temperature to about 90. I hate this state [expletive erasure].
August 8: If another sage a ** breaks, “Hot enough for you today?” I’m going to rip his throat out [expletive erasure]. Damn heat. When I get to work, the radiator is boiling, my clothes are soaked, and no deodorant works well enough!
August 10: The weather report could be a damn recording: hot and sunny. It’s been too hot to sleep for two damn months and the weatherman says it could get hot next week. Does it never rain in this bloody barren desert? $ 1,700 worth of freshly dried cacti and blew on the group [expletive erasure]. Even a cactus cannot live in this heat.
August 14: Welcome to Hell! The temperature reached 120 today. Forgot to break the window and blew out the windshield [expletive erasure] of the BMW. The installer came to fix it and said, “Good enough for you today?” My wife had to spend a house payment of $ 1,600 to get me out of jail.
August 30: worst day of the bloody summer. I’m not leaving the house. The monsoon rains [expletively erased] finally came and all they did was make it dirtier than hell. The BMW is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $ 500 windshield. Nobody told me about staying out of the washes during a “flash flood” warning. That does it. We moved back to California and bought a house by the highway for a little peace and quiet.
