Friendship is a type of bond that we establish with people with whom we have an affinity, and with whom we build a relationship through shared experiences.
The concept of friendship and the value we give it evolves throughout life, as well as its meaning; A friend for a five-year-old is not the same as for a twelve-year-old or a 17-year-old boy. In addition, the individual differences of each one must be added to this (tastes, values, preferences, personality, interests, etc.).
On the other hand, throughout life we will forge bonds and friendships that will also evolve; some will even disappear. In this article we focus on the childhood friends of the little ones; Among these friends, some will last a lifetime and others will become a memory.
However, whatever their evolution, it is important that as parents we encourage our children to create these friendships when they are young, because it is a treasure for their soul .
“The best time to make friends is before you need them.”
-Ethel Barrymore-
Childhood friends: what do they contribute?
During childhood, children usually make many friends, since they interact with their peers in many areas (in the park, at school, in family environments…).
But what “function” do these first friendships have in our children’s childhood? According to a study by Alba Masjuan, from the University of La Rioja, the main function of friendships during childhood is to give the child another point of view on social life , a point of view that until then the child had only been able to acquire through the relationship with their parents.
Friendships that last forever, and others that end
As we said, of those first friendships, those that are formed earlier, in childhood, some will last a lifetime, and in other cases the friendship will end.
The reasons for this termination are many; change of school or city, loss of common interests, the passing of the years, maturing differently, distance, etc.
But in both cases, one thing is clear; and it is that those early friendships will hardly be forgotten. Because having been part of the history of our children and their first experiences (the first times), they will be part of their identity and their memories, forever.
How to accompany our children, as parents, when it comes to cultivating these friendships when they are small?
What can we do as parents so that our children cultivate friendships in childhood
encourage to socialize
You can socialize in a thousand ways; through recreational activities, going to the park, at school, in the family environment with cousins and siblings…
And it is in that socialization where the possibility of making friends is born. Encourage your children to socialize with others; yes, never forcing anything if they don’t feel like it.
Discuss together what values a good friend should have
Although it is true that for children, especially when they are young, “everyone” could very well be their friend (they are not so selective; a friend is who they play with in the park, for example), it is also important that children can Choose people with whom you feel comfortable.
For this reason, even if children are young, we can discuss with them what “having a friend” means, what is the difference between a friend and a partner, what values their ideal friend should have, etc.
This will help them to define what a friend must have to be one, and to realize that they have every right to select their friendships (above all, because of what they make them feel and what they transmit to them).
Accept your friends
It is clear that we will always want the best for our children, and that some friends they have may not be to our liking, for whatever reason. However, it is important to respect the decisions that our son makes regarding his friends, and that we accept them.
That does not mean that we cannot comment on something that worries us at any given time (but considering it from curiosity, and not reproach). Remember that it is important for our children to feel that we accept their friends.
Comment on actions, never criticize friends
If there is something that does not fit us, before criticizing your friends , it is better that we “criticize” (or comment) the specific actions that they have had and that we have not liked. And it’s not the same to say “I didn’t like how X person spoke to you at X time”, than to say “I don’t like X person for you”.
Understand that friendships evolve
It is also important to make the little ones understand that friendships evolve over the years . That some childhood friends will be for life, and that others won’t, and that’s okay. There is nothing wrong with that.
Friendships are alive, that’s why they change, just like our children change. But, be that as it may, we must not forget to honor our memories and give them the place they deserve, even when we talk about those friends who are no longer friends. And this is a message that we can pass on to our children.
Friendship in childhood and in life: its importance
Friends are always important. During childhood, they help build the identity of our children, who little by little are more capable of choosing who to relate to.
During adolescence, friends take on a central value, since the sense of belonging to groups is an element that shapes the personality and self-esteem of boys.
And during adulthood and even old age, it is undeniable that friends provide us with multiple things : emotions such as joy, fun, company, support, memories, a lasting bond, the sense of responsibility to take care of said friendships…
For all this, it is important that children can build healthy and quality bonds through their friends, from when they are very young. Because from those friendships experiences and memories will be born, memories that will be like a springboard to return to the wonderful innocence that bathed childhood.
Photos | Cover (Freepik)
