A perfect father and professional is one who is able to perfectly separate his work life from his family life: that is, who, when closing the door of the house, leaves his problems inside. And when you open it again after work, it comes clean from work stress.
But honestly, how many of us managed to put this magnificent theory into practice? Who has not responded in a bad way or without patience to some request of their children because they are thinking about a problem they have had in the office or simply because they are exhausted?
Casey Graham is one of those parents who realized that her professional responsibility was negatively affecting her family time. His publication on his Linkedin account acknowledging his mistake and giving his tricks to overcome it, has gone viral.
Recognize the problem, the door to the solution
This father of two children and CEO (executive director) of Gravy, a large company based in Georgia (United States) recognizes in a post on his Linkedin account that for years, he took work problems home.
He acknowledges that he used to “not interact much with children, not talk much at the dinner table, depressed, emotionally disconnected, and slightly on edge.”
He explains that his behavior changed when he began to think of his children as adults:
“I asked myself:
Do I want my child to grow up emotionally unstable because he never knew which parent was coming home?
Do I want my daughter to accept this kind of behavior from her future husband?
Does my wife deserve to get my emotional leftovers because I lost a deal that day?
Realizing the impact of his actions, he admits that he felt a sickness in his stomach and understood that he had to do something to change. And he did. Plus, her tips are so simple that all parents who work outside the home can use them:
I listen to music on the way home, without making or answering calls.
Sitting in the car when I get home, I say to myself out loud, “I’m Dad, not the CEO.”
I smile 😃 when I enter.
I ask questions at dinner.
[I’m] 100 percent not perfect but I try …
Tricks from other parents
In the comments, working parents said they related to their reality and shared their own strategies for keeping their negative energy at bay when they have a bad day at the office.
“I think you have to find the balance. I’m still working on it. My biggest recent change is being more proactive with my personal schedule and verbalizing with my wife the things I need to do for myself … that is, going to the gym, see friends, watch a game.
I try to maximize my time with the children. To do this, I need time to sit alone and do things for myself. The same happens to my wife. She needs that time too.
I think we all have to be a little selfish at times, to fulfill our commitment to other people.
“I take a deep breath, and I stop and say to myself: ‘Today’s time, in this moment, just like today, will only be here once. The moment I see’ my girls’ (my wife and two girls, as I call them) is the most important moment I have faced all day. Lean on, love, thank and be fully present, as they deserve this at the very least. “
“You definitely struggle with this … I commend you for acknowledging the problem and actively working to not let a difficult day turn into a bad family time. Being able to have an honest dialogue with your child regarding the struggle lets her know: 1. that you are human; 2. that it is okay to make a mistake as long as you own it and apologize (if necessary); 3. that changing a behavior is possible. “
“Some of the best conversations I’ve had with my son have been about this. I’d rip his head off for something that has nothing to do with him and then not only apologize, but always explain where it all came from. Great conversations about vulnerability, taking responsibility and emotional intelligence (among other issues) “.
As Casey’s post reminds us, it is crucial to model good behavior in front of our spouse and children. Even when we have unpleasant experiences during the day, we must try to be the best versions of ourselves to our loved ones.
The reasons why this post has had such an impact
Just a few hours ago, Casey himself acknowledged in his account how surprised he was that his publication had gone viral and analyzed why he believed it had happened.
These are his reflections, reproduced literally:
1. The holder
“Don’t let your bad day turn into your family’s bad night” is what gets people to read my post. I believe that the headlines are in 97% of the cases the ones that capture the attention and achieve the greatest impact. I made up that statistic, but I believe it.
2. The fight
I wrote the post for the fight, not for the success.
The articles that I have written that have had the most impact are about something that is wrong and I admitted.
Stop trying to act like you have everything under control.
We all get it wrong about different things and people connect with authentic posts.
3. Internal dialogue
I have noticed that when I share “what I really think” , it connects with people.
Instead of going straight to the “how-to’s,” think about sharing the mental journey to gain emotional connection.
- The solution
I shared my tips for tackling the problem. They were simple.
In the comments, people pointed out what advice they would use.
5. The reality
I post 4 or 5 times a week and I’m lucky.
My goal is not to go viral … it is to help people.
When I write, I think of that CEO who is sitting alone and struggling with something that I struggle with. “
Vía | Working mother
Photos | iStock
In Babies and More | Being a mother and working outside the home: the challenges we face every day, Discussing in front of our children. It is not always necessary to avoid it, The 13 daily discussions that you will have with your partner when you are a father
