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How to introduce the baby to the older brother: seven tips to make the moment positive and unforgettable for everyone

When a new baby arrives in the family , one of the most anticipated moments for parents is when they are presented to the rest of the siblings. And it is that those first moments in which you see your children together for the first time are very emotional, and will remain forever in our hearts.

If you have more than two children, surely you already have plenty of experience in approaching this moment in a positive way. But if it is your second baby and your only child so far has just become a big brother, it is likely that you have thousands of questions about how to carry out the long-awaited presentation .

In this article we want to give you some tips that will make the moment easier, making it unforgettable and wonderful for everyone.

Take care of all the details: the first impression is important

When we visit a place for the first time, we do a job interview, we meet a person… we unconsciously begin to pay attention to dozens of details that remain engraved in our minds, and that will generate a positive or negative first impression of the moment .

In this case exactly the same will happen, so it is extremely important to take care of any detail , however trivial it may seem, so that the first meeting between our children is pleasant and positive .

There are five basic aspects that we must seek:

  • mother must be fine

The first and foremost thing before proceeding with the presentation is that the mother is in the best possible condition . If you are tired, sore, numb from anesthesia, or uncomfortable, it is preferable to postpone the moment until you have recovered.

In this way, we will not only prevent the child from being scared or not understanding why the mother is not the same as always, but also from blaming the baby for the state in which his mother is.

  • Privacy

Meeting the new little brother in a room full of people waiting for the reactions of the older child, is not the most ideal. On the other hand, it is recommended that the presentation be made in the privacy of the family nucleus , and if possible only with the parents present.

  • relaxed atmosphere

Look for a relaxed, trusting environment away from any stimulus that interferes with the presentation (music, television on, gift baskets for the newborn…). We must achieve a serene and calm environment in which there is no rush.

  • Take care of your verbal language

We should avoid telling our son things like you are the older brother and you have to set an example” or “now you have to take care of the little brother” . These are phrases that we adults often say to the child who has just become an older brother, without being aware of the emotional repercussion that it can have .

Instead, we may encourage your cooperation by respectfully and voluntarily asking for your help or engaging in caring for the baby.

  • take care of your gestures

But in addition to taking care of what we say, it is also extremely important to pay attention to our non-verbal language, since children are great observers but poor interpreters , hence certain gestures, grimaces or body attitudes of ours can disorient them.

Parents must be the ones in charge of the presentation

In line with the above, it is recommended that the presentation of the baby be carried out by the parents . In this sense, perhaps we have to be assertive and politely ask any member of the family willing to take charge of the matter to withdraw from the scene.

If possible, give the child the privilege of being the first to meet the baby

Although it is not always possible, whenever we can, it is convenient to grant the older child the privilege of being the first to meet his little brother , after mom and dad.

This detail will not only help him understand the important place he occupies in the new family structure (ahead of grandparents, uncles, cousins or any other member), but it will also make him feel important, loved and taken into account by his parents.

Avoid receiving the eldest son with the baby in his arms

Whenever possible and the newborn is calm, it is advisable to place him in the crib to have his arms free when receiving the older child . In this way, in those first moments we can hug him, snuggle him or hold him in our lap exclusively.

And it is that one of the greatest fears of children before the arrival of a new brother is that he steals the love of mom and dad, so you have to avoid suddenly finding your parents (especially your mother). ) holding another child in her arms .

Don’t expect anything concrete from your child. just go with him

Although we all dream that the moment in which our firstborn sees his brother for the first time will be wonderful, we must lower our expectations and accept that it is just as valid that he smiles sweetly at the baby, kisses him or hugs him , as well as that he gets angry, cries or show absolute indifference to the newborn.

Allow your son to feel freely, without judgment, labels and without questioning his brother’s love.

Observe him and ask him what he feels, accompany him in that delicate moment in a respectful way and help him manage the tidal wave of emotions that are probably happening inside him.

Fosters connection between siblings

Connecting with the person in front of us is basic and essential to start a good relationship. That is why we must allow our oldest son to find the best way to connect with his new little brother .

In some cases, this connection could be achieved by involving the eldest in the care of the newborn, whenever he or she requests it. In others, it might be important to leave space with the baby , allow him to take it in his arms, rock him, make skin to skin…

Some families also resort to the exchange of gifts between siblings ; that is, the baby gives the older brother something he wants, and the older brother does the same with the little one.

Take time to talk about what your birth meant

It is normal that the first days after the birth of the baby, the older brother feels a little out of place due to the new routines at home, the changes in schedule and the attention that the newborn receives.

To help him assimilate and understand these changes, we can remember with our little one what his birth meant : the anecdotes we experienced in the hospital or the first days at home, what we felt when we saw him for the first time, we can relive some funny moments with photos and videos…

In this way, our eldest son will understand that just as it happened to him, the baby is going to need time and space to adapt to life outside the mother’s tummy, and that in that time there will be endless changes. anecdotes and exciting moments that they will share together.

Photos | Front cover; Photo 1 (Photo by Goda Morgan in Pexels); Photo 2 (Pixabay); Photo 3 (Photo by Andrea Piacquadio in Pexels); Photo 4 (Photo by RODNAE Productions in Pexels)

In Babies and More | How and when to tell the big brother that a baby is on the way, Seven things you should do when visiting a child who has just become a big brother

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