Today is a beautiful and important day, although it will not be easy for many moms and dads. Many of them will take their babies to their first day of nursery school, something that arouses many mixed emotions.
And it is not easy to “know” how we will feel on this day, how we can accompany our little one in the best way or even how to understand our emotions. On the one hand, we feel happy because our little one begins a new (important) stage in his life.
And on the other, we feel anguish, sadness and guilt that weighs like a slab, for having to separate from him being so small. Also, a tremendous feeling of injustice, rage at the impossible conciliation and the system that takes such little care of us , as well as fear, uncertainty…
We reflect on these emotions, through the words of two mothers, and discuss some strategies to prepare the baby and ourselves.
Moms tell us about their experience on their babies’ first day of nursery school
We have collected some testimonials from moms about their baby’s first day of nursery school. Sandra tells us:
I remember having a really bad time on my oldest daughter’s first day of nursery school. I felt like I was letting go of a part of me. With the second and third, it was no longer so hard.
The key is to transmit security, support and affection to your child, never disappear without saying goodbye, give him a big hug, tell him that he is going to have a great time and that we will see you in a while. The ideal is to be able to adapt with them for several days, but unfortunately for many parents it is not possible.
For her part, Meritxell remembers it as an intense and bittersweet day:
I remember that I felt all my emotions at the same time: joy, nerves, sadness… I felt relatively calm because before I enrolled her I made sure to choose a school where I had the peace of mind that I would be in a good environment and all those things, but when the time came to leave her and say goodbye to her, sadness invaded me; It even made me want to turn around and say that we’d better come back next year (laughs).
I think that even if you prepare yourself, it is always difficult that first day that you “let go” of the world, you feel that you are leaving your heart somewhere else. Fortunately, my daughter had no problems because I had prepared her for that day by telling her positive things about her little school and we had gone a few days before to meet her.
At the moment of saying goodbye, everything was fine and she was happy in her new school. But I have to admit that there was someone who cried a lot that day: me, as soon as I got back in the car to leave.
All these emotions that these mothers mention are normal , and reflect the complexity of the matter, since as we can see, in this important moment, pleasant emotions coexist (joy, illusion…) and others that are not so pleasant (fear, sadness… ).
We talk about how to accompany our little one and how to do it with ourselves with all this that we can feel.
How to prepare your baby for his first day at nursery school
Whenever possible, we should try to carry out an adaptation process in the new school (and also at home, anticipating that it will soon start in nursery school).
Thus, some ideas to prepare your baby for his first day at nursery school are:
1. Visit their school before and make the adaptation
If possible, visit your child’s school and classroom before you go together on the first day. You can take the opportunity to walk around the school and play in the playground , in the classroom, meet your teacher and, in short, let them become familiar with the environment and gradually feel comfortable in it.
It is also beneficial that you can make the adaptation process with the progressive increase in hours each day, if it is possible for work and conciliation, and that this is progressive.
2. Conveys a state of calm
It is true that young children do not understand complex words, but they do understand non-verbal language (gestures, body language, etc.). This language can help them feel calmer on their first day. Therefore, if you stay calm, he will perceive it and feel calmer and safer.
3. Keep the routine at home
Routines offer mental structure, security and calm to children. Therefore, lean on her. Make sure that the first days of school start are organized and free of unforeseen events.
Keep a routine where your little one knows what he is going to do before and after his first day at school. You also need to know that even if you start a new routine in your life, a major change, at home “everything will remain the same” . So, in this sense, it is better not to make important changes at home.
4. Accompany and validate
It is important to accompany and validate all the emotions that your baby may feel on his first day of nursery. If he is nervous, if he cries more, if he is distressed to see you leave… these are normal emotions. Accompany from presence and awareness, focusing on what your little one needs.
5. Despidate (bien)
It is a mistake not to say goodbye to the children “because they don’t realize it”, or “because that way they don’t suffer as much”. You must anticipate that you will leave (“in a few moments I’m leaving, darling”), say goodbye and also do it with confidence and calm . Although your baby may not yet understand spoken language, he does understand your expression and body language.
According to experts, calm is easier for babies to interpret than happy or sad, so stay calm and kiss and hug goodbye .
On the other hand, it is also important to communicate to our little one that we will return, even if he does not understand your words 100%; you can tell him, “in a while I’ll come looking for you”, “we’ll be together again soon”.
And add a phrase like “you’ll be fine here” , “they’ll take care of you here”, “you’ll be with other children”, “have a good time”, “mom will be with you again very soon”…
How to prepare yourself for your baby’s first day of nursery school?
As fathers and mothers, it is normal that leaving our babies, so young, on their first day at nursery school, is painful and complicated. Although we know that they will be great and that a new stage of progress is beginning, that does not mean that it will not be difficult for us.
How to prepare ourselves psychologically for this day as dads and moms? Some ideas that can help us are:
1. Trust
Cultivating confidence is essential to face this day with a little more serenity and calm. Trust yourself; you can accompany your son on this day and do it very well, and inside you know that this is also positive for him, although surely you would like to have him much more time with you at home.
Trust your little one: that he will adapt to this situation and be fine. And trust the teachers; in his vocation and in his work.
2. Talk to your teacher and solve your doubts
If you have not been able to do this before, in an adaptation period, it is important that you do it now. If you need to stay calm because you have any questions, because you need to meet your baby’s teacher… talk to her about it, verbalize how you feel , solve your doubts. Help him earn your trust.
3. Let go of guilt
Guilt is perhaps an emotion you feel when leaving your little one in the classroom on the first day of nursery school. However, remember that you are not guilty of anything. Perhaps you feel this way because the (non) conciliation does not allow you to be with your little one anymore.
Remind yourself that it is not your fault and that you always do what is best for him. Try to discover where that guilt comes from, what other emotions it entails, what thoughts can help you let go of it…
4. Breathe and seek calm
If you are nervous, a little mindfulness exercise that can help you calm down (either before going to school, after leaving your little one…), and that will also allow you to free yourself little by little from certain emotions , as the fault, is the following:
Close your eyes and ask yourself what you feel. Locate that emotion in your body, where does it come from? From the chest? And breathe little by little from there. You will see how calm gradually returns to you.
5. Embrace your emotions
It is just as important to remain calm when you take your baby on his first day of nursery school, as it is to accept your emotions. While it is true that it is important that your baby sees you calm, you do not have to hold back all the time either .
It is beneficial for your baby that you remain calm when you are with him but, once you leave, allow yourself to cry if you need to, breathe, seek a moment of calm before going to work… All this you feel is normal, allow yourself feel it
6. Support your partner
Mutual support at this time is essential. You have to form a team, and for this, it can help you to express how you feel, what fears you have, whether you share them or not…
This will allow you to “get out of focus” and see that there is someone who feels similar things (or who has other points of view that help you take perspective and relativize), and, ultimately, who empathizes with you and supports you.
7. Look for positive reinforcement
Finally, it can help you to better face this moment by thinking that when you return you can do something together (something pleasant), with your little one, like walking in the park, going to a nice place for a snack…
It will be your little “prize” for having overcome this day. Keep this in mind throughout your work day; this will help reduce anxiety and focus your mind beyond the time you dropped him off at school.
Photos | Cover (Unsplash)
