I think there is no experience that can test us as much as motherhood does. Although it is true that with her we learn many life lessons, it is also something that makes us question our abilities and also, fight every day to be better.
But even though I know that every motherhood experience is different, in me I have almost realized that there is no perfect motherhood, and we simply have to do our best and learn to let everything flow .
The desire to do things right
When we become mothers for the first time, we are not only filled with joy and excitement. After the excitement of those first moments, the second part begins: planning, in which the fears and doubts of this new adventure that we are about to start usually appear.
Even from pregnancy we can live a whole roller coaster of emotions, from positive such as: “It will be incredible!”, To some that are not so great and make us feel anxious, such as: “Will I be ready to be a mother and do well? things?”
And finally, when our baby arrives, we strive to do our best , afraid of newborns, but always giving our greatest effort, trying to follow or imitate those tips that guarantee us to be successful or to be the best for our children. .
By following this path, motherhood can become not only exhausting, but stressful, because wanting to do everything perfectly or “in the best way” makes us overexert ourselves and go to the best of our abilities.
However, over the years, I have realized that although it is good to try to do things well and learn to be better, we must be aware that there is no such thing as perfection in motherhood, it does not exist . And we should relax more.
Learn to flow in motherhood
It is very normal that at the beginning we want to do things to the letter, reading all the maternity advice and giving the best to our children. But if we don’t relax and learn to let things flow, we can turn this life experience into a burden .
I admit, learning to flow is not that easy, especially when it comes to our children! As mothers and fathers, we always wish the best for them and do our best to be good in this important role.
I remember that during my first years as a mother, I felt guilty for a long time for some things that did not turn out as I expected and I allowed that not having achieved it as it was supposed to be best for my daughter caused me stress.
I began to try to compensate for those things that at first did not turn out as I wanted, and I began to demand much more of myself as a mother . I was very careful to follow those discipline or health advice so that my daughter would grow up in the best possible way.
But the reality is that there is no manual to be a good mom and every child is different , so many times the theory does not work for everyone. Some will have had a natural lactation, while others never managed to establish it.
The same with certain forms of parenting or currents of discipline. In some homes, positive discipline and not using screens would have worked great, but in others it just wasn’t the best for family dynamics. The reality is that when it comes to parenting, no one has the absolute truth .
Each family, each mother and each child is a world. Even between siblings, what worked or went well for one, but not the same for another, does not mean that only with one we have succeeded or with the other we have failed.
But this is something that you only learn over the years, when you gain enough experience with motherhood and parenting, and you realize that perfection does not exist, that it is also nice to learn from mistakes and that in many cases, the best is just enjoy the moment.
In the end, the memories are what are kept
Now I know that occasionally letting things flow is the best for everyone and nothing bad is going to happen if we relax a bit and focus on enjoying more . We do not stop being good mothers and our children will not grow “inadequately” just because we do not follow one or another motherhood advice.
Although it is very good to want to be better, we must be aware that perfection does not exist and we must learn to enjoy the journey more . So let’s do the best we can, but without being overwhelmed or worried.
After all, children grow up fast and what remains in their memory is the time we spend with them, as well as the love and attention. In the end, what really matters is that they are happy, and we raise them to be kind, whole, and happy people.
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | “You are breastfeeding, and you are doing very well,” a heartwarming message to all mothers, Real Maternity vs. idealized motherhood, the mother I thought I would be and the mother I am
