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I suspect that my teenager has started smoking: what we can do as parents

Today, May 31, World No Tobacco Day is celebrated. We want to raise awareness about this issue, and for this reason we will talk about adolescence, that time when many young people begin to flirt with said substance.

And it is that specialists from the Spanish Lung Cancer Group (GECP) have warned that the percentage of smokers doubles in the period from adolescence to adulthood.

It is estimated that 169,000 high school students started smoking in 2021. And in total, 30 percent of young Spanish people admit to having smoked in the last year. It is a very high figure according to experts.

Bartomeu Massuti, head of Oncology at the General Hospital of Alicante and secretary of the GECP, explains it this way:

“It is especially revealing that between the ages of 14 and 18 the percentage of adolescents who smoke doubles. 18.4 percent of 14-year-old students smoke and this figure, already very high, increases exponentially, reaching 43.7 percent at age 18.”

And he insists on the importance of preventing and dealing with this habit because later on it can become a problem that is difficult to reverse.

I suspect that my teenage son smokes : in this article we explain how we can address this situation as parents with our children, but first, we reflect on the causes that lead teenagers to start smoking so soon.

I suspect that my teenage son smokes outside the home: reasons why they start to try it

There are several reasons why teenagers start smoking. On the one hand, there is group pressure at this age that is more pronounced than at other ages.

peer pressure

Group pressure is defined as the influence exerted on oneself by the majority, an influence that is capable of modifying the thoughts , emotions and behavior of the adolescent himself.

The need to be accepted by the group

To this group pressure is added the desire to please and the need to belong to the group. We must bear in mind that in this evolutionary stage, the adolescent’s self-esteem (how they love themselves) and self-concept (how they see themselves) go through the group filter, and in many cases, it is the group itself that defines these concepts.

Thus, the adolescent “needs” to feel loved, validated and accepted by the group, because that group is part of his individual and social identity. “I am as I am because I am part of this group, I belong to it.” This leads them to imitate their behaviors, even if they are harmful, such as smoking.

imitation and habit

In this way, if they see others smoking, and also they urge them to do so, as a result of this need to be validated and to belong to the group, the adolescent can fall and try tobacco.

And once they try it, the thing may stay there, or it may become a habit (or addiction) and they end up smoking regularly.

The desire to stand out and feel older

On the other hand, there is also at this stage a desire to stand out from the rest, in this case, from the little ones.

In a certain way, they want to feel older, and for this reason they resort to “grown-up things”, since we remember that the sale of tobacco is prohibited to those under 18 years of age. Therefore, they associate this action with something that “the grown-ups do”.

An act of rebellion?

In addition, since tobacco is harmful to health, there may also be, in this action of smoking, a background of rebellion, of breaking with the rules or with what is established, with what is expected of them at their age.

And this is linked to the previous points, such as the need to feel older, “cool”, or to feel that they do what they want (together with the need for self-affirmation typical of adolescence), etc.

The need to experiment

Finally, another reason that leads adolescents to start smoking, or at least to flirt with tobacco, is the need to experiment with new things.

In this case, with a substance that is actually a drug, since it has effects on the central nervous system.

I suspect that my child smokes: what can we do as parents?

If you suspect that your son has begun to flirt with tobacco, and this issue worries you, here are some ideas that can help you address this situation with him:

look at the details

Although it is logical that at the slightest suspicion that your child smokes you already feel that you have to know what is happening, keep calm and choose to observe a few more days.

Notice if he tries to hide something (either a “secret” or the tobacco itself in his jacket, for example), if you notice him more nervous, if he smells of tobacco… And when the suspicion is clearer, choose to approach the openly discuss with him.

ask, don’t accuse

If you decide to approach the conversation with him, it’s important that he doesn’t feel attacked or judged. So, before you accuse, ask.

Choose a quiet moment, where you know you have a minimum of time to talk and you don’t have to leave in five minutes, for example.

Approach the subject matter-of-factly; You can do it progressively, first asking how he is these days, how he is, if there is something that worries him or that he would like to tell you…

Or choose to ask directly , “Hey look, I’ve noticed some changes lately, and I’d like to know if you’re starting to smoke.” Emphasize that this is not a rant, that you simply want to know.

And in the event that he confirms that yes, he has started smoking, what to do?

investigate their reasons

It is important to investigate the reasons that have led your child to start smoking; not so much because that is essential to know, but because the fact of wanting to know more, of being interested in his attitude, will make him feel that you empathize with him, that you want to understand him and help him.

Thus, explore your motivations, how it started, why you started… And above all, why you keep doing it, how you feel, if you like it or if it is more of a bad habit, an action that you imitate from others, etc. .

open up with him

In order for your son to feel confident in explaining to you why he is smoking, and for him to feel that you empathize with him, a good strategy is to tell him about your experience too, to open up.

Explain your adolescence, your need to also belong to groups, if you also tried it at the time or not (and the reasons), how you felt… Make him see that you can understand him , but that this situation worries you . For this, it is important to talk about the consequences of tobacco.

Talk about what tobacco gives you and its consequences

Before you start talking about the consequences of tobacco, or rather, what it gives your child, you can ask him directly if he knows the consequences of this substance. On the one hand, addressing what you think provides you on an individual or social level; “What do you think tobacco gives you?”

It may be that he sees it as “good” things , such as feeling like one of the group, socializing, etc. It is important not to question their reasons, but to listen and understand.

And then, to also be able to talk about its negative consequences at the health level.

Ask him if he knows them and make him aware of them ; not as a “rant” or “speech”, or listing each consequence one by one, but rather as a chat, to offer you information that you should know, since your health and your body are important.

encourages reflection

And finally, to emphasize precisely the latter, that your physical health is important (and also your mental health, since tobacco is sometimes used to reduce anxiety, for example, becoming a rather inadequate emotional regulation strategy).

Therefore, it is important to remind you that you only have one body and that tobacco will harm you, but we insist, not by way of speech, but through dialogue and encouraging your reflection.

In other words, the idea is that you can ask yourself questions, by way of introspection, that lead you to ask yourself why you are following this path, and that you can weigh the pros and cons of smoking, so that you can make a much more informed decision. free and thoughtful

Photos | Portada (freepik)

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