The quarantine has brought us many changes, not only routine, when all our daily activities are interrupted, but also mentality and definitely behavior and attitude, giving us many moments of reflection in the current situation.
But also, like other mothers have told me about it, I have noticed that my daughter keeps following me all day, and it even seems that she has taken some steps back in certain things. So if your child seems to have what some call “mamitis”, you are not imagining it: we tell you why children need us more than ever .
There is no “mamitis” as such
Before explaining why during quarantine your child seems to follow you everywhere and demand your attention most of the time, I want to clarify that in Babies and more we do not believe that “mastitis” exists as such or that it is a problem, because we know that what they have called that is simply a need for affection and security .
We call it “mastitis” because it is a way of saying or explaining that children want to spend more time with their mother or need more from her, and as we have commented on other occasions, having “mastitis” is actually normal, particularly during the first years of life .
My daughter follows me everywhere
In two months, my daughter will be six years old. Like any girl her age, she does and likes to do many things without my help , from some small things like pouring herself a glass of water, to others a little bigger, like folding and putting away her clothes.
However, for a while now, after a week in quarantine, I noticed that she began to spend all the time glued to me. He didn’t just come up to me while I was working or cooking. If I withdrew from a room, he would immediately follow me .
Also, I realized that during the day he talked to me about all kinds of things , from asking me for many hugs or for us to sit together on the sofa, to showing me all the time what he was doing: if he drew, if he read, if he made a tower. with his toys, if he pirouetted.
At first I thought it was boredom because of the confinement and I tried to give him more activities , until one day I shared a photo of us on my Instagram stories and as a joke I commented that it seemed that I had “mamitis”, to which several mothers responded by telling me that their children were the same.
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It seemed curious to me that I was not the only one and I began to observe with greater attention every time he spoke to me or asked me for something, and in addition to noticing that he looked for me more frequently, I also noticed that he had had some “setbacks” , such as coming back to me. bed when I was already sleeping in hers and asking me things that she was used to doing on her own.
It was there, when I understood that it was not really so much about her feeling bored or that she needed someone to socialize with (there are three of us at home and we make video calls daily with her grandparents, aunt, cousin and friends), but about the effects that it was causing the confinement in her .
What we can see and interpret as “mamitis” is actually her need to feel safe and protected at a time when her whole life has changed and there is no clear or precise answer about when things will return to normal. .
Not being able to leave home, or visit family or see friends at school, undoubtedly has an impact on their emotional well-being , no matter how hard we try to follow a routine similar to the one we had before the pandemic. Our children now feel nervous and insecure, and naturally they look to us.
How we should act in the face of these changes
Secure attachment is the basis for raising happy children, and in this time full of uncertainty, with so many doubts and prevention measures, it is not surprising that what children need most is security and companionship. And from whom do they get it? From his parents .
So the best we can do is just be there for them . Personally, I know that it is difficult to try to balance everything that we must do now from home: raising, working and educating the children, but it is necessary to be as present as possible with them.
For us, the solution has been to integrate my daughter into practically all the activities we do at home . For example, if we are working, we give him a small space on the same desk or table to draw and thus make us feel close but allow us to continue working.
If we are cooking, we invite her to help us prepare some things, such as washing the vegetables or mixing the ingredients by following a recipe. When washing clothes, it helps us to separate or order them. All of these are things that she already knew and did occasionally, but now we do our best to integrate her even more, thus making her feel accompanied .
And last but not least, we attend to their needs for affection and affection when they ask for them, giving them a place in their safe place: our arms , whether we have to pause work or not do homework for an afternoon. Because in a situation like the one we are living in, neither our work nor our academics are the most important. The most important thing is that we are all well.
So calm down, because this “mamitis” that has emerged during the quarantine, like other stages of our children, will not be forever. But in the meantime, let’s share this precious time with them and give them that affection and security that they need now more than ever .
Photos | iStock, @unamamamillennial
In Babies and more | Mental and emotional health is also important: seven keys to better cope with family confinement, Routines and schedules are important, but flexibility is key during quarantine, 17 parents tell us how they are coping with the quarantine with their children in home
