It’s easy enough to make jokes about the Arizona heat in the summer. If we don’t laugh, we would be crying! But just wait. In the winter, our favorite activity is calling our friends and family in the north and northeast and casually asking them, “So how’s the weather?” Ha ha.
I’ve seen these jokes in various places, and even received them via email multiple times. What? Have you never seen them before? Well here they are. And yes, some of them are terribly close to the truth.
It’s so hot in Arizona that …
- you can fry an egg on the sidewalk (I tried it)
- birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
- the potatoes are cooked underground, and all you have to do for lunch is take one out and add butter, salt, and pepper.
- farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to prevent them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
- The cows are giving evaporated milk.
- The trees whistle for the dogs.
- You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
- You can say 113 degrees without passing out.
- you eat hot chili peppers to cool your mouth.
- You can make instant tea.
- learn that a seat belt is a good marking iron.
- temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit cold.
- you have experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
- You’d give anything to splash cold water on your face
- You can attend any function in shorts and a tank top.
- The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, AND ARE THEY RIDING ME? !!
- You discover that in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
- You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
- You notice that the best parking spot is determined by shade rather than distance.
- Now hot water comes out of both taps.
- It is noon in July, the children are on summer vacation and no one is on the street.
- you actually burn your hand when you open the car door.
- you get sweaty the instant you leave at 7:30 am before work.
- no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery on a car or not having air conditioning.
- His biggest fear of a bicycle wreck is, “What if I get knocked out and I end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
- you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
- A sad Arizonan once prayed: “I wish it would rain, not so much for me, because I have seen it, but for my 7-year-old son.”
Is it hot enough in Phoenix to fry an egg on the sidewalk?
