The latest report ‘Single parenthood and employment’, prepared by the Adecco Foundation, already warned of the vulnerable situation of mothers of single parent families. In fact, 80% have seen their employment and economic situation worsen with the pandemic, a fact that has a direct impact on their mental and emotional health and on the way in which they can raise their children.
This is confirmed by the Crece Bien de Madrid Centers, specialized in teaching and developing emotional and social skills, noting that they have seen an increase in requests for help from single-mother families since the beginning of the health crisis by 40%.
Sonia Martínez Lomas, psychologist and director of these emotional education centers, explains that “stress and the feeling of guilt for not being able to take good care of children are behind this increased emotional burden” , and gives us tools to overcome them.
“Being the only parent in times of pandemic multiplies the emotional burden”
A clear reality for this psychologist who has verified how “single-mother families arrive reporting many more difficulties, both emotional and logistical, than traditional families”.
Since the coronavirus broke into our lives, single mothers are reporting “a lot of stress, a lot of guilt at not being able to take good care of minors, and fear and uncertainty that something might happen to them (to a minor or to themselves), to lose their job or not to be able to get ahead ”.
In addition, according to the expert, to these emotions is added the burden of chores and domestic and work responsibilities “almost 24 hours a day, without a moment for rest, calm or self-care.”
For this reason, for Sonia Martínez, emotional education is important “always, but even more so when difficult moments arise” such as those we have to live.
According to the expert, managing emotions and thinking and interpreting situations “is something that is learned and that gives a better quality of life” , more important even in single-mother families, since their situation is more complicated due to the emotional and mental burden that drag.
In this sense, the psychologist points out that emotional education can help these mothers, among other things, to improve “in the organization of time and tasks, in flexibility in the face of changes, in communication and in the management of emotions in the family ”.
Five tips to overcome the emotional burden of the pandemic
According to Sonia Martínez, these measures can help mothers of single-parent families to face this time of Covid-19 if they feel overcome:
1.- Thinking about what they would like their sons or daughters to do when they are older if they are in the same circumstances, can give clues on how to act.
“Sometimes, as mothers, we do not allow ourselves a break, skip a rule or attend psychology sessions ourselves, but nevertheless, it is something that we would want for them in the same circumstances. It is important to think that we are their role models and that if they see us allow ourselves those breaks, that search for help, they will be more likely to do so if they are ever in the same situation ”.
2.- Maintain good communication with the children . “If the children see the people of reference overwhelmed and, in addition, they do not know what is happening, they will get more nervous. On the other hand, if we explain the reason for things to them, they will be able to feel calmer ”.
3.- Agree on family commitments . Relax tensions and stress reach an understanding in the distribution of household tasks, in the establishment of rules to create spaces of tranquility in which each member of the family finds a place in the house to do what helps them feel good .
4.- No child needs perfect mothers, but close mothers who “express how they feel, who ask for forgiveness if they are wrong, who seek solutions to problems and who, even though they are having a bad time, show their children that they love them. that they are together and that this is not going to change ”.
5.- See mistakes and difficulties as opportunities for children and for mothers themselves: “transform the thought that everything is going wrong by thinking about what we are on the way, learning, starting small actions to improve”.
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