It is said that newborns only eat and sleep and, although in some cases it may be (almost) true, the truth is that it is often difficult to get babies to fall asleep.
Breastfed babies often fall asleep while nursing. But is that good? Do we have to try to avoid it? And, what to do if, as mothers, we are exhausted because our baby (or not so baby) is breast-dependent and always needs the breast to fall asleep ?
babies sleep
Newborns have a different sleep pattern than adults. On the one hand, they do not distinguish day from night, they do not have a circadian rhythm . For another, they only have two sleep phases (the four of us): active sleep and quiet ground, and their sleep cycles are much shorter.
Around 9-12 weeks they begin to acquire a circadian rhythm, although it does not fully consolidate until 5-6 months. It is also around this age (4-6 months) when they begin to enter new phases of sleep, and this maturation leads them to increase their awakenings.
In addition, in the first weeks and months of life, awakenings are closely related to food , since they need to eat very frequently; For example, a newborn usually takes between 8 and 12 feeds a day.
Breastfeeding and its role in sleep
I have often heard that breastfed babies sleep worse. However, the scientific evidence does not say the same. According to studies, although babies who are breastfed have more awakenings than those who are bottle-fed, there is no difference in total sleep duration.
On the other hand, breast milk promotes falling asleep because nighttime breast milk contains melatonin, a sleep-inducing hormone that we secrete when night approaches (darkness) and tryptophan, which promotes sleep. It has been seen that melatonin levels in breast milk are undetectable during the day and rise at night, reaching their maximum peak around three in the morning. In addition, the suction itself and the contact with the mother calm the baby and help him fall asleep .
Breastfeeding could also promote sleep in mothers , who according to a study sleep up to half an hour more than those who bottle-feed during the postpartum period. This could be due to prolactin, a hormone essential for lactation, which relaxes the mother and induces sleep.
Is it normal for the baby to fall asleep at the breast?
It’s very normal! It would be strange if they didn’t, after what we just discussed about the influence of breastfeeding on sleep. Most newborns and infants during the first weeks and months of life fall asleep when they finish feeding , while still gently sucking at the breast. The normal thing is that they suckle vigorously at first, and gradually space out the suctions and make them more superficial until they fall asleep. This non-nutritive sucking is also beneficial.
As they grow, however, they spend more and more time awake and it is no longer so common for them to fall asleep while nursing.
Is it bad for them to fall asleep on the chest?
No way; As we have just seen, it is natural for younger babies, especially, to fall asleep while eating or after a feed. There is nothing wrong in it. Even though they are not actively suckling to remove milk; non-nutritive sucking is also good . On the one hand, it favors the production of breast milk, since prolactin receptors are activated. On the other hand, it calms and reassures the baby (and older children) helping them to fall asleep.
I don’t want her to fall asleep at the breast, what do I do?
We have seen that falling asleep at the breast is something natural. If in your case, falling asleep at the breast works and you are both comfortable, it is not necessary to change anything.
However, for some mothers it is very tiring when their children only fall asleep at the breast. This usually happens after the first 3-6 months of life, when awakenings are less related to food and, in many cases, become more frequent as a result of the incorporation of new phases of sleep; babies are not able to link one phase to another and wake up, needing help to fall asleep again.
Upon awakening, babies often easily fall back to sleep the way they did the first time . So if when we put him to bed he fell asleep at the breast, it is normal that when he wakes up he looks for it again to fall asleep. For some mothers this is not a problem, they put the baby very close (co-sleeping or co-sleeping crib, or simply share a room) and they are both able to go back to sleep quickly.
But other mothers are not able to rest . In these cases, we can try to change some habits so that the baby does not need the breast at each awakening, but we must bear in mind that awakenings are normal in babies and young children; that you will still need to do one or a few night feedings and that these are important for the maintenance of milk production. Also remember that a crying baby should always be attended to.
That said, trying to put the baby to sleep in a way other than the breast might work .
– We can feed him and leave him in his crib when he is sleepy but not completely asleep.
– We can feed her a while before and then establish a sleep routine in her crib: music, caresses, transition object…
– The pacifier can also be helpful in some cases; it is recommended not to offer it while breastfeeding is being established (first days or weeks of life) to avoid possible teat-nipple confusion, but there is no problem in taking it when breastfeeding is already established.
– The father can also put the baby to sleep and assist him when he wakes up; If you can’t get him to sleep and/or when the baby is hungry, you can give it to the mother to breastfeed. This is what is known as the “Father Plan”, which is also sometimes used to achieve night weaning (in this case it should not be carried out before 12 or 18 months).
How do you get, in general, a baby or child to sleep better?
Unfortunately there is no magic solution to this. Awakenings in young children are common, but parents are very upset. Also, sleep can vary greatly from one child to another. There are, however, two tips that can help improve night rest:
– Sleep well during the day . Contrary to what many people think, going to bed too tired is not going to make the baby sleep better; quite the contrary. Resting well during the day and taking the necessary naps will help you sleep better at night.
– The routines . Sleep experts agree that a good routine is essential to promote sleep. We must try to wake up, take naps and go to bed at more or less the same time and follow the same routine; for example, at night it can be a bath, dinner, relaxing music or a bedtime story.
To not forget…
If our baby falls asleep at the breast and we want him to stop doing so, we must know that changing sleep habits is a process that will probably take time. It is also likely that even if he does eventually fall asleep, it will take longer than when he fell asleep at the breast. We must have patience and, of course, never stop attending to our baby’s crying.
