I still remember the nerves while we waited for the test to tell us if we were pregnant and the silence after confirmation. Of course, it only lasted a few seconds because although we were not yet looking to be parents, from the first lack of menstruation we were clear that any result would make us very happy.
And, curiously, in the first conversation about how we were going to adapt to the changes, the question arose: what are we going to name our baby? Surely those of you who are parents, or are going to be soon, it sounds familiar. Because, although it is by no means what should worry us the most when discovering pregnancy, it appears in our subconscious and we can do nothing to drive it away.
Anyway, now that my children are older, I know that their name is important and I have discovered that it marks their personality, so it is logical that we invest time in choosing the most suitable one for our babies.
Unfortunately, it is not always to the liking of grandparents, uncles, friends … Because for some strange reason everyone around us believes they have the right to have an opinion and, as in my case, to criticize your options. And seen in the distance, I’ll tell you why you should tell them that “my baby’s name is our decision and we have not asked for your opinion.”
Your jokes and criticism should not make us hesitate
I don’t know if it happened to you, but at least they managed to make me wonder if I wasn’t making a mistake by insisting on calling our baby Kenya, if it was a girl. In fact, they managed to get us to discard Asturian names like Xandra or Xana, because “everyone was going to laugh at her at school because no one would know how to pronounce it.”
But the criticism and jokes regarding the African name were not short either. It was funny, but that was the first name we thought of the same afternoon after knowing the result of the test, while we celebrated our happiness on the beach. We had gone to Kenya on a honeymoon and the country captivated us so much that we even considered the opportunity to stay there to live.
In addition, everything seemed perfect: I am passionate about travel, so it seemed to me that giving our daughter such an international name, she identified with us, our way of understanding the world. So of course it should be in English, as it is originally written, because we wanted it to speak languages as well and why not start there.
We defined all this without knowing if it would be a boy or a girl, and we shuffled Asturian names in case it was male, although we honestly did not have any favorites.
As we did not know the sex of our son until the third ultrasound, we always had to add the tagline “if it is a girl it will be called Kenya” and from there, the jokes would come. “And if he’s a boy, will you call him Congo?” “Look, you’re weird even to choose the name.” “Wouldn’t it be more logical to choose a classic Spanish name?” “Are you looking for me to be the laughingstock at school? They are going to think that it is adopted ”.
Those were just a few of the niceties we had to endure, as my mother-in-law was “opposed to us giving her grandson such a horrible name” and my mother reminded me that it would be a precious detail to call our son after his deceased parents.
The funny thing is that although they made us hesitate along the way, as soon as the ultrasound revealed that we were going to have a girl, we began to refer to her by her name: “Kenya will be …”, “We are going to buy this for Kenya ”,“ I really want to see the face of Kenya ”. ..
The hormones, the insecurities of being a new mother, the love for the elderly and their experience, came to tear the odd tear and make me doubt, but I assure you that when I saw her face for the first time, I knew that it was her name, that it was not it could be called something else.
When they put her in my arms at birth, an “I love you Kenya” came out of my mouth uncontrollably and everything was said.
Although it may seem incredible, when they came to meet the newborn, they asked me about his name and if we had not changed our mind, “because with how white and blonde she is, she did not hit anything.” Luckily we didn’t.
As I have always wanted, she is strong, confident, adventurous, independent and perhaps, as we remind her on more than one occasion, because since she was little she has learned to respond with pride to comments and questions about her name : “Why what’s your name like that? ”,“ Were you born in Africa? ” “My name is with K and Y, Kenya, like the country and I love it” , he responds every time they misspell it.
In addition, I assure you that it does not go unnoticed and everyone who has known it remembers it. What I am not so clear about is whether the reason is in his name or in his dazzling personality or, perhaps, a fusion of both.
So if, as in this case, your baby is going to have very common Spanish surnames and you want to show him that he is unique, the most important thing for his parents, it is not bad to choose a name that stands out, that has a special meaning for your little family. It has worked for us and, far from becoming a problem that could make it complex, it became an advantage because it made it stronger , by proudly defending the origin of its name.
And we learned the lesson, because in our second pregnancy we did not reveal our baby’s name to anyone until he was born. Months of spam comments saved.
But each father and each son is a world and, as I advised you at the beginning, you should not pay attention to the opinions of others and, of course, not mine either. Let yourself be carried away by your heart and you are sure to be right.
Photos | iStock
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