The coronavirus quarantine turned our world upside down: children were sent home to continue their classes virtually, and thousands of parents found ourselves saturated with activities, including continuing to raise our children, and trying to telecommute. , at the same time that we help our children with their studies.
With all these changes, and the mandatory stay at home, it is not surprising that parents feel physically and mentally exhausted. We will tell you how the mental load affects us during quarantine and what we can do to alleviate it .
What do we mean by mental load
In Babies and more we have talked about the mental burden of mothers on different occasions, since in many homes the upbringing and care of children, as well as housework, continue to fall mainly on them. However, this is not the case in all cases, and less so now when both parents (whether they live together or not) are sharing responsibilities and concerns while we are confined at home.
For those who are not familiar with this term, when we talk about mental load we refer to that to-do list that we carry in our head , and that we usually review over and over again. It includes things from all aspects of our lives, such as work responsibilities, housework, and raising children, among many other things.
Now that we are in quarantine, it seems that by staying indoors we lead a less accelerated pace of life, but the reality is completely the opposite. We may not have to leave the house, but we have accumulated within it a whole series of activities and responsibilities that keep us with our minds occupied all day.
How mental load is affecting us during quarantine
The confinement affects us all, there is no doubt about that. But in the case of those of us who have children, it does so even more, since we not only remain confined to our homes, combining teleworking with housework: now we are also teachers, as well as parents .
If lately you have noticed that you feel overwhelmed, angry, exhausted or are more irritable or impatient than usual, that time does not reach you and you cannot get to everything, you are not alone: thousands of parents in the world have experienced those same sensations at some point in the quarantine.
And how can we not feel that way, when our head is inhabited to its fullest capacity by doubts, fears, responsibilities, pending issues and an endless number of other things that concern and occupy us during this confinement.
We not only have to deal with a big change in our rhythm of life and the list of all the activities that we must do every day, such as being a teacher at home and at the same time, continue working. To that, we add the list of concerns that we naturally have as parents and that many of us ask ourselves in silence:
We will be fine? Have we adequately followed the protocols and recommendations to avoid contagion in our family? What else can I do to protect my children? How much will the confinement and estrangement from their teachers, extended family and friends be affecting them? Will they fall behind in their education? When will this end? How will it affect our family finances?
And in addition to all that, we also have the emotional needs of our children , who now need us more than ever and demonstrate this by constantly looking for us or asking us thousands of questions that, unfortunately, we are not always able to answer.
All these things form that enormous mental load that we now carry on our shoulders , and that make us feel tired and stressed, to the point of feeling that we have been drained of all energy.
But calm down, now that we have recognized how the mental burden affects us and everything that represents, we can take actions to alleviate it .
What can we do to ease the mental burden
Although it may seem that all those pending tasks have no end or that we will not have the opportunity for a real rest until the end of the quarantine, the reality is that by following certain advice and making some adjustments both in our routine and in our attitude, we can lighten the problem. mental burden .
Maintain realistic expectations
I have chosen this as the first tip, because I think that in order to release the mental load, the first thing we must do is remember the following: we are only human . Let’s not push ourselves more than we can really do.
We are not perfect nor are we robots that can do everything without rest, so maintaining realistic expectations for both ourselves and our children is key to avoid feeling that we are not doing things right.
For example, while I know that it is important to support and continue with the education of children from home, academics is not and will not be the most important thing for us, because I know that this change can be very big for children , and put too much pressure on them to that they fulfill all the duties can turn out to be counterproductive for them.
Have routines, but also flexibility
Organizing ourselves to establish routines and schedules is definitely important for the well-being of the whole family , as this way we can maintain a similar rhythm to the one we had before quarantine and respect essential activities such as eating or sleeping.
Let’s put routines, yes. But let’s also be flexible. The flexibility of being able to pause what we are doing and leave it for later, although we had not planned it that way, is key so that the quarantine is not so heavy for us .
Find time for us
I know, I know. Confined at home with the children and the thousand things we have to do, finding time for ourselves can seem like an impossible mission . I always recommend mothers to take care of their mental health by taking time for themselves, and during quarantine is no exception.
The time for you, either as a couple or alone, can be big things, like making time at the end of the day to watch a movie, or organizing yourself so that you can take a half-hour nap during the day. The idea is that they can have self-care spaces in the middle of the chaos .
Do your best to enjoy the moment
With all the news and being cooped up at home, enjoying the moment may sound like something far off. But if we learn to see the positive side that confinement leaves us, we can realize that by really living in the present moment, we can enjoy it .
Leave the blame
Finally, one of the tips that I have also repeated on many occasions: let’s put guilt aside . If we follow through with the priorities or most of the things that we set out to do within our means, we will have done enough.
Let us not forget that we find ourselves living in a historical situation and of great tension. Let’s be kind to ourselves, take care of our children, and do our best not to let the mental load get the better of us .
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | Telecommuting: How to work with children at home without despair, Get organized and be flexible: tips for moms who work from home with babies and toddlers
