The quarantine due to the coronavirus has come to completely change our lives . From one day to the next, we had to leave the normality that we knew, to keep ourselves locked up at home to prevent contagion in our family.
We recently talked about how our children seem to have mastitis and the effects that confinement is having on them. Continuing with this theme, today I will talk about regressions in children: why they have taken some steps back during quarantine and how we can help them .
My son has mastitis / papitis!
Like many mothers, after a couple of weeks in quarantine, I began to notice a peculiar and very marked behavior in my daughter: she followed me everywhere and did not want to detach from me . What some people commonly call “mastitis”, but that can also happen with parents.
A few days ago I wrote about this new behavior that has emerged during the quarantine, and I explained that it was simply the way in which children showed us that they had needs for affection and security , during a time full of uncertainties and changes in their lives.
But in addition to this “mamitis” that my daughter was showing, I also noticed that it seemed that she had taken a few steps back in her development , because many of the things that she already did without help now she asks me to do them again or simply, I do not like to do them being alone.
Don’t worry, nothing bad happens to your child
You should know that if the same thing happens in your house, you are not alone . Dozens of mothers and fathers have told us how their children, regardless of whether they are three or eleven years old, showed that they had regressed in various aspects:
Those who already ate without help, ask mother to give them the food in their mouth , as when they still did not know how to hold a spoon. Those who already went to the bathroom alone and without problems, have had some leaks or accidents, or continue to go alone, but now they ask that someone stay with them near or in the bathroom accompanying them.
Others, like my daughter, show a fear of the dark and seem to have forgotten how to turn on the light. In some cases, as it happens in our house, the children who already slept in their own bed or room, have asked again for a space in ours .
All of these behaviors, as strange as what I’m going to say may sound, are normal. And I say that they are normal, because we must remember that they are taking place when we are living an unusual situation , in which children were removed from the life they knew. Of its normality.
For us, these regressions can be a cause for concern, as we are their parents and we always look out for their well-being . But we should not be alarmed or think that something serious is happening with our children.
Those small setbacks that our children show are one of the ways in which they express the impact and effect that confinement is having on them. Fortunately, there are some things we can do to help you in these cases.
What to do about these regressions
As I have already said, both mastitis / papitis and regressions are simply the way in which our children tell us that they are not well and that they need us. The first thing we should do about this is to remain calm and put ourselves a little in their place .
Fortunately, these regressions are temporary, and to better understand this, we have the expert opinion of Dr. Miryam Triana Junco , pediatrician specialist in neonatology and international consultant on breastfeeding:
Most of these regressions are transitory. In many situations they appear when there is something that is affecting them: stress, changes (eg change of address, starting school), family problems, the birth of a brother …
We must focus on solving the basic problem ; For example, in this time of confinement, they may need us to explain the situation to them in a way that they understand, they may need more affection and that we are more at their side, relaxation techniques or, on the contrary, “download adrenaline” with a few races for the hallway or a tickle war.
Depending on their age, we can talk to them about these regressions: ask them why the change, how they feel … In some situations distraction can work, for example when they put their finger in their mouth. As I have said, these infantile regressions are usually fleeting; If we see that they extend over time (months) or that they associate other alterations (physical changes, behavioral alterations), we must consult.
A more special situation is peeing again. It is normal for young children who have recently put off their diapers to leak again (or increase their frequency) in stressful situations. It is advisable, as I said, to treat the basic problem ; It may also be helpful to offer or remind him to go to the bathroom every so often.
As for the leaks at night, in principle they are normal up to 5 years. In pediatrics we talk about secondary enuresis (peeing at night) when they wet the bed again after more than 6 months without doing so. Although the most frequent causes are psychological (stress, family or school problems, jealousy …) it is advisable to consult a pediatrician in this case. We must also do it if the leaks are associated with other symptoms: pain or stinging when urinating, changes in the amount of urine, increased number of times they urinate, cloudy or bloody urine, if in addition to the pee there is constipation or encopresis (leakage of poop) .
How can we help our children
As we have said, we should try not to give too much importance to these small steps backwards, and treat them with a lot of understanding and affection on our part , without blaming, scolding or punishing the children.
In addition to this, another very important thing we can do to support our children if they regress due to quarantine is to take care of their physical and emotional well-being . To do this, we can do the following:
- Make sure they have a good rest . Adequate sleep and rest are extremely important in childhood for healthy development, but these can be affected by confinement. Maintaining a routine to go to sleep and respecting the recommendations for hours of sleep according to your age are key.
- Stay active with them . Confinement can cause spirits to drop and therefore it is important to make sure we are active for at least a few minutes each day. Dancing, playing, jumping and stretching are some of the activities we can do to exercise with them.
- Try to have a proper diet and nutrition . Now that we are home, we all find ourselves cooking and trying new recipes. Although comfort food such as cakes or cookies helps us feel a little better, we must continue good eating habits and eat a balanced diet in which healthy recipes predominate.
- Give them all the love and support they ask for, whenever possible . Fathers and mothers we feel physically and emotionally exhausted, I know. And maybe having to go back to doing things we didn’t do anymore or having them stuck all day can make the quarantine routine even more tedious. But our children need us now more than ever.
I know that now the situation is very hard, but let’s remember this: everything is temporary and soon the day will come when things will return to normal . In the meantime, let us be patient with our children and ourselves, giving each other peace, love and security, as we pass this bitter drink.
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | The confinement is noticeable and children are increasingly irascible: seven keys to help them calm down
