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Showering for more than five minutes or painting your nails is not the self-care that mothers need

A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend about self-care for mothers ; that term that has become so fashionable in recent years and that perhaps that is why it has been distorted over time .

And for a sample, we just have to take a look at the publications on self-care that mothers post on social networks, and which mainly revolve around the most superficial physical care : hairdressing sessions, home manicure, bath with aromatic soaps …

But I wonder, is this enough to feel like we are taking care of ourselves? Is it enough that we paint our nails to achieve that disconnection time that we need to lighten the mental load and cope with our day to day?

Taking care of yourself and pampering yourself is necessary, but not enough

For a long time, I myself came to believe that going to a physical therapist for a massage when my back couldn’t hold it anymore, taking a shower alone for more than five minutes, or even putting on a face mask before going to sleep, it was enough to feel like he was taking care of me.

“I have already completed my daily self-care period ,” I said to myself, trying to find an emotional sense in what I had just done.

Thus, day after day I tried to take time alone to pamper myself, without being aware that such superficial care was not an extra , but a need that we all must cover: that of externally taking care of our body and feeling good about ourselves.

When I came to this conclusion, I felt quite stunned, because the care that I had been applying to myself – also believing that they were the panacea! – not only had not helped me emotionally, but I did not know what else I could do for my.

“It has taken me a lot of effort to take a few minutes a day to take care of myself without blaming myself for it, to realize now that what I have been doing is something that I should never have stopped doing , because it is about my health and my body ! “ , I thought in a loop.

Taking care of our body with a massage, a moisturizer, a bath or a haircut should be something routine and that we never stop doing after becoming mothers, because after all it is about our health and physical well-being.

And yes, you may feel that when you return from the hairdresser you are more relaxed and happy to see how good your hair has been. But make no mistake; That physical well-being is as short-lived as the professional hairstyle you just got.

It is true that after becoming mothers, we tend to forget about ourselves by fully devoting ourselves to the needs of our baby, so that there comes a point where we would give anything to take a shower alone, fix our nails or hydrate our hair. . But once these essential care routines are back , we should go one step further.

The “conscious self-care”, beyond the simple momentary pleasure

I admit it. Realizing that what you’ve been doing so far is the least you should do for yourself is disconcerting. But it is that the famous “self-care” of which we speak goes much further.

When we take care of ourselves, we must do it consciously, nourishing our body and soul with the five senses, and paying full attention to what we are doing.

“Conscious self-care” implies a total connection with our essence and our being that not only allows us to relax, evade and feel good, but also provides us with long-term benefits.

Taking care of yourself with mindfulness is also knowing yourself, accepting yourself, loving yourself and being compassionate with yourself. It is looking for our best version , learning from mistakes and focusing on our many virtues.

Each one must choose the best way to connect with herself and with her essence , but it is essential that whatever you do, act from full consciousness , taking the time you need to reach that state of inner calm that allows you to nourish yourself emotionally and not just feel good physically.

There will be those who achieve it through physical exercise, reading, coffee with friends, meditation, art … in short, with activities that go beyond pure immediate pleasure, and that also make all of us grow as a person. levels.

And it is that if we take care of ourselves with the automatic pilot on, and without being fully aware of that time that we are dedicating, it is more than likely that we will not be able to escape the mental and physical fatigue that mothers feel.

Photos | iStock

In Babies and More | Time for mom: self-care is also important in pregnancy

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