Before becoming mothers, we all had some idea about motherhood , from our experience as daughters seeing our mothers, to people, acquaintances or friends who had children before us.
And also, possibly before becoming mothers, we came to express an opinion or judgment about other mothers, often based only on what little we saw about their motherhood, taking note of what happened when it was our turn.
Although I am not a person who judges others, I must admit that I did have opinions about the things I would do (and not do) when I became a mom. In my case, it was a battle between feeling terrified that I didn’t know what was coming, and saying “I’m not going to do that.”
For this reason, and with almost eight years of experience as a mother, I want to dedicate a few words of forgiveness to all those mothers that I could have judged before having children .
I had no idea
I think the first thing I have to say (and admit), is that even though I had an impression of what motherhood could be, I really had no idea what I was getting myself into. And it is that motherhood is one of those things that you only really know and understand when you have to live it.
From those nights of eternal sleeplessness, to the tantrums and other challenges that raising children entails, motherhood is an experience that challenges our abilities and that on more than one occasion will make us feel overwhelmed and exhausted.
So from the bottom of my heart, I apologize. To that mom I judged at the grocery store because her son was throwing a tantrum and she didn’t seem to do anything about it. She was probably just exhausted and all she wanted was to get out of there and go home.
To that mother who had her son glued to her all day, because in my inexperience I got carried away by those comments that said that this was something negative and was spoiling him. ” I will never hold him so much in my arms or let him sleep with me ,” he said. And to this day, almost eight years old, I still hug and receive my daughter in my bed when she asks me to.
To those friends and acquaintances who were mothers before me, and who said that they did not have time to do anything else in those first years of motherhood, sorry for naively thinking that they just needed to organize themselves better. Being a mom is a real, full-time job.
In general, to all the mothers that I could have judged in any circumstance or situation: sorry. I had no idea.
Being a mother made me understand
Motherhood transformed me. And not only because I became “a person with children”, but because my mind and way of thinking changed completely. I was finally able to live first-hand what other mothers experience. And it is that only a mother is capable of understanding another mother.
All these learnings are evidenced in my current profession. Now, I don’t just write informative parenting articles. I have and feel a moral commitment to all those mothers , be they new, recent and veterans, to help them, listen to them and support them .
Perhaps in those years I was not the most understanding person, but being a mother helped me to have empathy , and to be a different person for other mothers, with whom they can now vent knowing that they will not be judged and that it will reaffirm that they are doing well.
In Babies and more | Letter to my self before becoming a mother: everything will be fine, The “I’s never” of motherhood: what you said you would not do, but now that you have children…, The mother I thought I would be and the mother I am