The arrival of a baby is always a reason for joy, and when a change as important as that takes place in our life, we immediately want to share the good news with the people around us and share those moments with them. However, because of the coronavirus, many couples have not been able to live this experience.
Therefore, and thinking about how lonely this stage can feel due to the absence of a tribe that accompanies them, we share some tips to cope with the first months as new parents during quarantine .
Becoming parents during a pandemic
A couple of weeks ago I wrote an article dedicated to women who had given birth during quarantine due to the coronavirus, as a way to help them know that although the circumstances are very different from what they imagined, they are not alone .
Having a baby when the whole world is isolated due to a pandemic, completely changes this experience , from the security protocols that were in place during delivery, to the absence of visits and the necessary distance that relatives must have.
And while any birth that takes place at a time in history like this can be difficult and stressful, today I am specifically addressing those who have become fathers and mothers for the first time during the coronavirus quarantine .
Welcome to the fourth quarter
After the birth of a child, the famous fourth trimester begins, in which the baby is no longer inside the mother’s belly, but continues to need him as if he still were. It is a transition period for parents and babies .
On the one hand, the baby enters a new and unknown world, in which there are now a million stimuli compared to the warmth and security of the mother’s womb. It is not surprising that in these first months he feels uncomfortable and manifests it through crying , calming down only in the arms of his parents.
In this fourth trimester, the postpartum also takes place, that recovery period that every woman goes through after giving birth , in which her body begins little by little to return to normal (or to its new normal, because nothing will be the same anymore ).
We could say that these two are the main and greatest events that take place after childbirth, and as we know, it is not an easy period. This is where those people who serve us a lot at this stage usually come into the picture: our mothers and friends who are already mothers, for example.
But due to the quarantine, hundreds of first-time parents have been left without access to that valuable tribe after the birth of a baby , facing this new world isolated from their family and others who can help them. And for them, we give the following tips.
Tips for those first few months
I know that it is difficult to enter this new life without being able to consult someone physically, without having extra help or being able to receive support visits. But luckily, there are a lot of things you can do to make things less heavy.
The first piece of advice I want to give new parents in their quarantine is primarily a reminder: you are not alone . Maybe physically yes, but thanks to modern times, they have a great ally in their favor called technology.
Just a video call away, they can consult whoever they need: doctors, their mothers and fathers, or friends who can give them some valuable advice. Also, you can call other friends, brothers or people you trust, when you need a relief from the pressure that the situation may have on you.
It is true that it is not the same as having them close or being able to see them, but we must make the best use of the tools we have and become a virtual tribe, in the absence of face-to-face .
Joining support groups for parents on social networks can also be an excellent option, which in addition to making them feel accompanied, can help reassure them and help solve certain difficulties, such as a lactation crisis or difficult moments in those first months.
Another aspect that is extremely important during this stage is self-care. A newborn can be very demanding, but between the fatigue due to the sleepless nights of those first months and the stress of living a pandemic, his emotional and mental state can be affected .
Take time for self-care, either as a couple or alone . It is probably easier to take turns caring for the baby while the other rests, whichever works best for both of you. But it is extremely important to organize yourself to give yourself those moments of personal care and take care of your mental health, at least 15 minutes a day.
On the other hand, although the burden must be divided, during the first months, Dad should support Mom as much as possible , since we must bear in mind that she is recovering from childbirth, so he should do a large part of the activities at home. , which can then be distributed equally as well as the care of the baby.
And finally, as a last piece of advice, one that you may already know but need to listen to again: be patient with yourself . They are living one of the most beautiful and equally complicated stages of life, during one of the most critical moments in history.
Be gentle with yourself, don’t be in a hurry for your baby to grow up (time flies, but you don’t know or haven’t realized it yet). Ask for all the virtual help you need and ask all the questions you need to your family and friends. You have the right to vent and take time for yourself. Soon all this will pass.
Photos | iStock, Unsplash
In Babies and more | The positive side of quarantine: valuing time with our children and other important lessons it leaves us, The mental burden of parents during quarantine: why we feel exhausted and what we can do to alleviate it, Mental and emotional health is also important: seven keys to better cope with family confinement
