Germans are avid beach goers and, like most things, take visiting the beach seriously. There are stereotypes about Germans on the beach and many of them are true. If you find yourself on the beach with the Germans, these 5 lessons will show you what to expect.
Remember, there is no use hiding. Germans are world travelers and can be found everywhere where there is sand. The only solution is to visit the beach like a German.
Arrives early
There is a joke that no matter what time you arrive at the beach, the Germans will have arrived before you. You step out of your resort room, refreshed after a good night’s sleep and ready for the first day of vacation, to be immediately put off that every strandkorb (giant wicker beach chair) is taken. You eagerly search, but alas! All chairs are covered by either well-tanned German bodies or their placeholder for a towel. Resolutely, you decide to get up earlier the next day … only to find the same setting.
And repeat.
There are several different theories about this phenomenon. The Telegraph even ran a story, Why German Tourists Lower Towels First , where they cited scientific evidence that Germans don’t sleep as much as Brits, that’s why they get to the beach first. However, their findings of about eight minutes less sleep per night seem like an unlikely culprit.
Whatever the explanation, it causes cross-cultural frustration. While most people are content to complain, there was an incident where British vacationers actually cheered after a private bus driver set fire to German towels reserving the best beach chairs at a resort in Italy. This is certainly not the way to handle the Germans’ superpower of being first on the beach. The only solution seems to be to resign yourself to settling in the sand or bringing your own chair.
Bring your dogs, bring your kids, bring your wife
Going to the beach is a complete family affair, and yes, that includes the furry ones. Prepare for the Germans to not only reclaim your space early, but take up plenty of room for your brood.
Keep in mind that more lakes and beaches are becoming no-dog zones, so check the rules before you go, or look for the illiterate picture signs with a dog crossed out in red.
And of course there are rules on German beaches. There was even an article in the Local about the laws that determine the maximum height and width of sand castles. Just search online to determine the details of your destination.
Go naked
Germans are famous for their ability to go naked. Sauna, park or beach, Germans are always ready to take off their clothes. This is actually a holdover from East German culture. Known as FKK (for Freikörperkultur or Free Body Culture in English), the emphasis is on living in your most natural state and there is nothing sexy about it.
While most venues are very casual about the no-clothes borders, there is usually a designated section of FKK. (Unfortunately, there are no restrictions on the fastest of speedos.) Avoid this section if you prefer to see less meat, or proudly brandish your bare butt diving straight into the waters. From the very young to the very old, there is no need for a bathing suit when going to the beach like a German.
Have a beer. Responsibly
As Americans and British sit gasping in the sun, sipping water and fruity drinks, you can identify Germans by drinking cold beers. While Germans are known for their beer consumption, they are generally quite responsible and prefer to consistently drink low-alcohol beers. In summer this usually means a radler (lemonade / beer mix) or a refreshing hefeweizen.
Eat ice cream
As soon as the sun rises, you can guarantee that Germans will get out into nature, dive into the water and eat ice cream. It could well be a law. Choose a plain cone, which usually costs no more than € 1.50, or order an elaborate German ice cream like their unappealing concoction, spaghettieis . Search it. It is exactly what it sounds like.
