What to wear for a summer funeral

Not long ago I attended a funeral in Phoenix. It was in August, and the temperatures each day that week exceeded 110 ° F. Having not attended one in several years, I found some valuable logical advice on what would be the appropriate clothing for those of us who live in the southwestern desert, specifically during the summer months (we have five summer months here) when temperatures are often over 100 degrees

These are some of my conclusions after researching and asking friends / associates. These points probably apply to most regions of the United States in the summer, as well as other seasons generally. Of course, I make assumptions here: that the funeral is not for a dignitary, head of state, or someone whose funeral will be televised; that the funeral is not associated with a religion that requires particular clothing or headgear for men or women; that the funeral service is held by the grave or in a place of worship, not on a beach or in a backyard.

• If the religion itself has no requirements to cover your head or hat, there is no need to wear one for this occasion if you would not normally wear a hat. However, if part of the service will be outside in the scorching sun, a cap (not a baseball cap) might be a good idea. An umbrella, as shown in the photo, works too.
• You don’t have to go out and buy a black suit or black dress if you don’t already have one. Navy blue, gray, or any dark or muted color is appropriate.
• Lots of women wear pants now, so if a dress isn’t comfortable for you or you don’t have one that’s appropriate, dark pants are fine. Gaucho pants or fancy capris can be fine.

• For men, suits are always appropriate, but if a suit is not your preference, a nice pair of pants in a solid, dark color will work. A dress shirt (as opposed to a golf shirt or t-shirt) is appropriate.
• For women, dress should be modest. By that I mean that a plunging neckline, strapless robe, or tight spandex is not an appropriate option. If you wear pants, choose a top that is a solid color or subtle pattern. Wildflowers or a colorful giraffe print are probably not appropriate here. A simple solid blazer, vest or shirt jacket would be fine, in case you are concerned about the cold inside air-conditioned buildings.

• I have read that it is not appropriate to show your shoulders at a funeral. Here in the desert, I don’t think that’s true. A sleeveless dress or top can be fine if, again, it’s not too revealing.
• For men, a tie is fine and should be subtle. Again, unless it’s an organization-specific pattern, keep the pattern simple and the colors muted. In really hot weather, ties are considered optional in Phoenix.
• Appropriate footwear for both men and women means no running shoes, slippers, flip flops. Are open toe sandals for women appropriate? I dont see why not. How about pantyhose? Few women wear stockings in the summer here. Men must wear closed-toe shoes, not sandals.

• If the service is for a former member of the military or an organization in a standard uniform, it may be acceptable to wear that uniform.

So what would you consider inappropriate attire for a funeral? Shorts, jeans, t-shirts, tank tops, sportswear, moo moos, sundresses, sexy cocktail dresses, red carpet fashions, anything you wear to play tennis, softball, or to the gym. Of course, if you are under the age of 14, that is a completely different problem.

Keep in mind that even in the heat of summer, the degree of formality of your attire should be appropriate for the setting and the occasion. Is the ceremony taking place in a very exclusive country club? Is the service a small family ceremony or a great public adventure? I can’t make definitive statements for all situations, but there are some general comments that should work for most situations:

1. You will not attend this event to impress others or find a partner. You are there to honor the person who passed away and pay your respects to their family.
2. Your outfit should be respectful of the occasion. What do you think the person who died would think about your outfit? What about the family?
3. You and your attire should not be the center of attention at this gathering.
4. If you can’t decide whether the outfit you’ve selected is appropriate, select something else. If in doubt, trust your instincts.

1. If it is very hot and you will be outside during any part of the ceremony, make sure that what you are wearing is loose fitting and a lightweight fabric. Be comfortable. After all, it will be hot outside and you may be standing still for some time.
2. Antiperspirant would certainly be in order, but keep in mind that there can be hugs and that many people are allergic to perfumes or colognes.
3. Can you wear all white, red, or hot pink to a funeral? Can you wear a very short dress or very tight pants? No one is likely to ask you to leave, but unless you make a specific statement (maybe the person who passed away loved the color pink and all family members were asked to wear pink), you wouldn’t.

1. Don’t apply too many accessories or apply heavy makeup. Simple is better.

Keeping it simple doesn’t mean you need to look scruffy either. You can display good style and respect at the same time. Here’s the most basic advice I can give: When in doubt, wear something you can wear to a summer interview for a professional business job, like a bank or a law firm, only in a darker color. Can’t go wrong there.

So here’s my disclaimer: I’m not a fashion designer, funeral consultant, or etiquette expert. I’m just someone who was looking for advice on what would be an appropriate funeral attire on a hot summer day in Phoenix.