When my children were little, one of the things that caused me the most tenderness was to see the admiring face with which they looked at me when I did something they didn’t know how to do, or when I answered their innumerable doubts.
And it is that feeling special and ‘almighty’ before your children is fascinating, although time and maturity end up teaching them that dad and mom do not know everything and cannot handle everything . And it is necessary and important that it be so.
Why young children believe that parents are ‘almighty’
We heal them when they get hurt, we calm them when they are restless, we comfort them with a simple hug, we have answers to all their questions, we are able to imitate voices and sounds while we read them a story, we drive, we work, we sew amazing costumes, we cook, we fix things when they break, we make your world always seem wonderful…
This view that children have of their parents is due to several factors . On the one hand, to his wonderful innocence and that ability to be surprised and excited by anything.
Thus, for example, they are able to go from crying because their toy has broken, to excited and incredulous laughter when mom or dad fix it, helping to make that idyllic and all-powerful image they have of us more and more solid.
On the other hand, the fact that a child believes that his parents are the smartest, the strongest or the ones who know the most makes him feel safe, confident and protected . Although this is essential to foster a secure attachment, we must also know how to manage it as the child grows.
Parents are a model for our children from birth, and all the knowledge and life lessons they internalize do so through our example (hence the importance of being aware of our actions and how our children observe us every instant).
They aspire to be like mom and dad, and that’s why it’s positive that they have such a wonderful and perfect image of us in their heads, because this helps them make an effort, grow and develop as people.
Obviously, as they mature they will realize that parents also make mistakes and that we don’t know everything . In fact, it is very important that they reach this conclusion, as we will see below.
Parents don’t know everything, and it’s okay to admit it.
As just mentioned, it is good, positive, and necessary for a child’s development to come to the conclusion that their parents don’t know everything .
In this sense, there is nothing wrong in admitting that we do not know something when asked , but that we are very interested in knowing the answer and even proposing to investigate together.
And it is that sometimes we can make the mistake of trying to get out of the way by answering the first thing that comes to mind, or even inventing the answer, because what will our children think of us if we do not know how to answer their questions?
But the truth is that admitting that we are not omniscient helps us to connect with them, to share a common interest, to learn new things and to show them that learning is something that happens throughout life.
On the contrary, wanting to always be right or overprotecting children by giving them the answer to all problems on a platter are toxic behaviors that prevent children from developing critical thinking, taking charge of their own lives or growing up with the freedom to make mistakes.
In short, it is necessary for our children to understand as they grow that parents do not know everything, we cannot handle everything and we are sometimes wrong.
And it is that contrary to what we may initially think, recognizing it is not a sign of weakness on our part, but rather a valuable life lesson for our children.
