As mothers, and as fathers, we will always want the best for our children . And it is clear that each one will have their way of educating, always valid, but … it is also true that there are educational styles that can harm, in some areas, the development of children.
We speak, for example, of overprotection. This practice includes, in many cases, the desire to keep children indefinitely in a bubble of protection.
However, when this bubble bursts, children may find themselves without resources to cope with problems, with little autonomy and little personal security.
And these insecurities, in the short and long term, can have an impact on your self-esteem and your happiness. But, what else do we know about the consequences of overprotection in children? We talk about 11 of them and why they arise, in each case.
11 consequences of overprotection in the education of children
Without further ado, we describe 11 consequences of overprotection in the education of children:
Little autonomy
The main consequence of overprotection in children is the lack of autonomy. Thus, if we give them everything, if we do not teach them the value of effort, or to tolerate frustration … it is very likely that they will end up having a very limited autonomy .
And this autonomy refers to different areas of his life: hygiene habits, socialization, organization of duties, etc.
Passive and “comfortable” behaviors
Related to the previous point, we find this second consequence in the fact of overprotecting children.
And they can end up developing very passive behaviors or postures, always waiting for them to get things done. In this sense, they can become more “comfortable”, by internalizing that parents will always be there to help them in whatever way.
Low self-esteem or insecurities
Overprotection in childhood can also affect children’s emotional and affective development. Thus, this way of educating can have a negative impact on their self-esteem, for example.
And it is that, if we overprotect them, we do not allow them to make mistakes, to try, and this can generate the feeling of personal insecurity , or the belief that they are incapable of solving their difficulties or problems, by themselves (because they have never tried, or we have not “allowed” it).
Difficulty tolerating frustration
Another consequence of educating from being overprotective, and not from training our children and their empowerment, is that they may end up having difficulties tolerating frustration.
Why? Because if they have never had to face a frustrating situation, and the consequences of it, it is very likely that they will not be able to take charge of the emotions that arise , because they have never experienced them.
They have never had to face them, because we have always “made it easy for them.”
Inability to expect or postpone rewards
Another direct consequence of being overprotective is that your child may develop difficulties delaying gratification. Thus, it will cost you more to wait ( tolerate the wait ) ; above all, having to wait in uncomfortable situations, or waiting for what you want so much.
This occurs because from overprotection there is a tendency to eradicate any discomfort in children , just so that they do not “suffer”, giving them everything they ask for and want quickly and consequently to their complaints or demands.
However, a possible consequence of this is this, an inability to tolerate waiting or to postpone gratification.
Not valuing what you have
It can also arise in the little ones a difficulty to value the things they have, because they have achieved them easily, or with the help -always- of their parents.
Let us remember that helping or accompanying is not the same as giving everything done.
Also, let’s not forget that according to studies, gratitude is related to happiness and well-being. That is why it is so important to also educate from gratitude and gratitude.
Need for the approval of the other
Related to the low self-esteem, already mentioned, this constant need for the approval, or affirmation, of the other also appears.
If we educate by overprotecting, we are throwing at our son, even indirectly and / or unconsciously, the message of “you just can’t” , “you need me for everything.”
For this reason, your child will end up always looking for the approval of the other to act or to decide, because he does not trust his own criteria (since he has not been able to develop it).
Lack of own criteria
As we mentioned in the previous point, another consequence of overprotection is the absence of its own criteria. That is, it will be difficult for your child to develop his own criteria when deciding (whether at school, at home, with his friends, in his personal tastes, etc.).
Why? Because you will never have had the opportunity to create your own opinions, since these will tend to be imposed by the parents.
And let’s not forget that having your own criteria is part of a healthy self-esteem, individual identity and autonomy.
Run away from problems
In addition, your child may also tend to run away from problems, not to face them, because he will hardly have developed personal tools that allow him to solve them.
From being overprotective, there is a tendency to want to fix everything for children , including their personal problems.
Therefore, if your child has never had to face problems alone, he will not be able to develop strategies to manage them, which will lead him to become frustrated , to not be able to do things alone, or to be continually asking for help (even in things that he himself could to learn to do).
Difficulties in assuming the consequences of their actions
Overprotected children can also show difficulties in assuming the consequences of their actions , because, generally, these are assumed by their parents. This is related to other consequences already mentioned, such as difficulty in managing frustration, for example.
And it is important that we know that, although it is logical to take care of and protect our children, wanting the best for them, everything to which they are not exposed they will not be able to understand, manage it themselves, etc.
That is why it is so important to accompany and protect while still stimulating autonomy !
Emotional dependency and insecure attachment
Finally, a no less important consequence of overprotection in childhood is emotional dependence. This can arise because the child ends up developing an insecure attachment , which makes him depend on the other, or constantly “need” him for everything.
And this is also extrapolated to the emotional field. This dependence will manifest it with parents, but also with other adults, with peers and friends, and even, when they are older and if the overprotection has been intense and lasting, with their future partners.
Because the child will have developed a dysfunctional way of bonding , more from the fear of rejection or the need for protection than from love, desire or personal security.
Photos | Cover (pixabay), Image 1 (pexels), Image 2 (pexels)
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