We often tell you that a highly recommended exercise when raising and educating children is trying to understand them. Be empathetic and put ourselves in their place to know what they are living and, in this way, get a little closer to their affliction or annoyance and thus know the reason for their behavior.
Speaking of babies, there are many parents who do not quite understand how it can be that when they leave the baby alone in the crib or the bassinet, they start crying, or that they sleep for five or ten minutes and wake up again, when it seemed that they were transposed. for hours, or why if he stays only a moment, he cries too, if he is safe between the four walls of his room.
Well, the answer is quite simple, but few parents know or internalize it: if your baby does not see you, does not smell you and does not feel you, he does not know that you exist .
The bassinet next to the bed
It is always said that the problem is when he does not see you, and it is true, but there is something else. That is, if he doesn’t see you, if he loses you from his visual field, if you disappear, for him you no longer exist. And while he is distracted by some moving toy, color or gadget he will forget to think that you do not exist, but since these things have limited fun, he will soon realize that he is alone and will burst into tears .
There are mothers who wonder how it is possible that having him next to him in bed, without touching him, he sleeps half well and having him in the bassinet, close to the bed, in theory not much further away, he sleeps badly.
Well, what has been said, it is possible that there, next to the bed, with the minimum light of the lamps that we put at night to see him they can open their eyes for a moment, see that we are by their side and continue sleeping so peacefully. But I almost preferred a matter of smell, noise and recognition of presence.
In the bassinet, although it is open, there is no way I can see you. In the bassinet, because it has four walls and is a bit sunk inside, our breaths reach him with less force, and he may hear us very far away . In the bassinet, because it has four walls, we can be by his side, even touching the bassinet, but for him we will be very far away.
In bed, however, he can see us, he can smell us without problem, he can hear us much closer and he can feel our close presence. And if they don’t notice it, they can move an arm or a leg to make contact. And it may seem like a lie, but that little leg on top of our body, that little hand that contacts our skin, are enough to make you feel accompanied.
The walls that protect them
Something similar happens when it is daytime and we put the child in a crib, in a gym or in a park and we leave the room for anything (we already know that sometimes you have to make food, answer the phone, shower and things So). In a matter of minutes, or seconds, the child begins to complain about being alone . You think he is complaining about something else, that he will have pooped, that he will be hungry or whatever, but no, it is to take it and stop crying , release it and do it again, take it and calm down again.
You think it is absurd, that there is no danger, that he is at home, sheltered by a roof, some walls and protected by mom, dad or both, that there are no animals that can attack him, nor rain that can wet him, nor cold that freezes your delicate skin, nor a floor full of stones and holes in which you can be uncomfortable. There is none of that and yet he does not accept to be there.
Why? Well, because we, Mom and Dad, know that, but they don’t know . They don’t know anything about roofs, walls, rain, or stones. In fact, they don’t even know anything about animals and dangers. They only feel that being alone they are not well and that is why they ask for contact and care. They only know that if they don’t see you, if they don’t smell you, if they don’t hear you and if they don’t feel you, you don’t exist , and they want you to exist. They need you to exist.
Photo | limaoscarjuliet on Flickr In Babies and more | Why can’t a baby manipulate his parents by crying, according to science, what do I do? My newborn baby sleeps a few hours at a time, Baby’s brain
