While many people are naturally good at flirting without much fanfare, others struggle or debate what to do when it comes to keeping potential dates. Now, a team of scientists from the University of Nicosia in Cyprus have revealed the 11 most daunting flirting tactics , which represent “interference” for many people. That is, tactics that are self-sabotaging when it comes to flirting.
Previous studies have suggested that people vary considerably in their flirting skills. Now, in this new paper published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, the team wanted to further explore variation in flirting skills by identifying what constitutes a decisive factor in making the task of flirting more effective.
To do this, they had the participation of more than 200 people, who completed open questionnaires about the flirting tactics that they found most unpleasant. Their responses were then tested on a group of more than 700 separate participants, who were asked to rate how off-putting they found these traits in a partner.
Finally, taking into account these results, the researchers identified 11 decisive factors. Having a “slobbery approach” turned out to be the most unpleasant flirting tactic, followed by poor hygiene and a lack of exclusive interest. Divergent opinions, vulgar language and lack of intelligence followed, followed by narcissism, lack of humor and low self-esteem and excessive intimacy.
The 11 tactics to avoid:
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being slimy
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have poor hygiene
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Show lack of exclusive interest
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present different points of view
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vulgar vocabulary
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lack of intelligence
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Narcissism
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Lack of humor and self-esteem
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excessive intimacy
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Bad appearance
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Stinginess
“People can become more effective flirtation initiators if they work on their approach, avoid making, for example, obscene and sexist comments, touching and being too intimate, and also avoid flirting with more than one person at a time,” Menelaos said. Apostolou, co-author of the work. “People can also improve their flirtation by improving their appearance (eg, taking care of their skin) and not being stingy (eg, offering to pay the bill).”
In general, women were more sensitive than men to almost all 11 deciding factors.
“One of the reasons is that women bear a larger share of the mandatory parental investment in child rearing, so they face greater risk than men if they make a mistake in choosing a mate.” experts suggest. “Consequently, women have evolved to be more selective and risk-averse than men, which is reflected in their greater sensitivity to dealbreakers.”
The researchers hope their findings will be useful for people who find it difficult to get ahead when it comes to flirting with someone.
“The findings of the present investigation could be useful for people who want to improve their flirting skills and for mental health professionals who want to help clients facing difficulties in mating mastery,” say the researchers.
Reference: Menelaos Apostolou, Chrysovalanto Eleftheriou, What constitutes bad flirting: An explorative study of dealbreakers, Personality and Individual Differences, Volume 194, 2022, 111665, ISSN 0191-8869, DOI: https://doi.org/10.1016/j. paid.2022.111665.
