Sex is one of the most important dimensions of the human being and that, of course, must also be cultivated in the difficult times of confinement that we are experiencing, whether we are alone, as a couple, or we are passing confinement at a distance.
There are people who are living these days of confinement in solitude; others are lucky enough to live with their partners; others live with roommates or family members, and may have difficulty finding moments of intimacy. Regardless of what your situation is, it is important to take care of sexuality also during these moments of crisis: in addition to the benefits that sex brings with it by the simple fact of practicing it, in these moments it can be an extra help to cope with moments of anxiety or sadness .
What do professionals advise us to enjoy sex during confinement? We have spoken with the writer, sexologist, sexual and couples therapist, collaborator of Muy Interesante Valérie Tasso.
According to the sexologist, the central practice of sexual activity during confinement is masturbation: “It can be done both alone and as a couple, and using whatever sex toys we want.” Masturbation has many benefits: During its practice, a number of neurotransmitters come into play, such as oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, and much more, causing what we call ‘the chemistry of happiness’. “Masturbation in times of confinement is especially recommended. I recommend it in the morning when you get up, because it helps you see the day in a different way; and, above all, at night, to sleep better ”, he explains.
One of the consequences of confinement is an alteration of sleep rhythms. “Many of my patients tell me that they are changing their cycle, and they go to bed much later. But our body cannot accept this lack of schedule control, because many of us study or work from home, and we have to continue to perform. Masturbation avoids sleep problems, is very good for falling asleep, and also releases tension. It is much better than a drug and has no contraindications. “
“In addition, it is a fun and free activity,” adds Valérie, laughing.
“Instead of staying up late watching episode after episode of a series, I advise people to masturbate before going to sleep . I understand that people are worried and prefer to escape through a series, but we have to continue to perform ”, he recommends.
On the other hand, Tasso also recommends finding moments to do this practice alone, even if we live with our partner. If before the quarantine there were moments of solo masturbation, it is important to maintain these individual spaces. “We can masturbate with our partner, but also, if we want, we can do it in isolation.”
Sex games as a couple
If we are lucky enough to live with the couple, so much time together can lead to friction, small fights, and the passion to erode. Valérie provides us with some ideas of erotic games to put into practice and fan the flame.
There is a spontaneous game that the surrealists played, which is known as ‘the exquisite corpses’. Based on this idea, Valérie offers us a stimulating experience as a couple: “You write an erotic phrase on paper; then you cover it and ask your partner to continue it; then you continue with a new phrase covering that of your partner, and so on until you consider that you have written enough. Then you can read the story together, resulting in a fun and stimulating experience ”.
Another fun practice Valérie recommends is to recreate role-playing games. “We can choose a favorite novel and recreate its characters to create an erotic story, for example, Lady Chatterley’s Lover , or any other from our bookstore,” says Tasso.
How to manage couple arguments
“Unfortunately there is a lot of gender violence, but we are talking about healthy relationships in which some friction may occur”, clarifies Valérie.
To avoid and manage possible fights that arise from daily coexistence, and from spending too much time together, Valérie makes some recommendations. First of all, delimit spaces: “There are people living in very small spaces these days. But no matter how small the home is, you have to find a space to eat; a space to work; a space to read; a space to discuss, and a space to have sex ” . On this, he clarifies: “Young couples probably retain a lot of passion, and this can be ignited at any place or time; but this division of spaces is very important, especially for couples who have a long journey ”.
On the other hand, if any of the members of the couple see that they are about to start an argument, it is important to separate: “To avoid getting into an emotional loop, after a fight we can take the opportunity to take out the garbage, go out to walk the dog , or just go out to the balcony to get some fresh air. But continuing with the discussion is not going to lead to anything, because only emotions are going to speak, and not reason ”.
What if we live at a distance?
Couples who live the circumstance of spending these weeks of confinement separately can resort to practices such as sexting , which consists of exchanging erotic phrases and, optionally, images (although if you are going to send erotic photographs and want to protect your privacy, better avoid it appearing your face in them).
But, more than images, Valérie recommends something she calls audiosexting : “I think the voice has a lot to do with sensuality and eroticism. We are currently overwhelmed with pornographic images. Let’s practice imagination. Then we can listen to these audios in a loop with the couple ”.
Both sexting and audiosexting are recommended for couples who live separately, as well as for those who live together: “We can both be at home doing any activity, and one of us sends a surprise message to the other; it is a way to fan the flame ”.
As for pornography, Valérie also recommends it both alone and as a couple: “Pornography is not a faithful representation of human sexual relations, but rather it is a fantasy and, as such, it can be very stimulating”.
To finish, let’s not forget that, during the coronavirus crisis, one of the members of the couple may be infected. “We must not forget the risks of sex during confinement. Let’s not forget that, despite being asymptomatic, we can have the virus, and there will be couples who will have to remain isolated ”. If any of the members of the relationship have symptoms, you should isolate yourself and avoid contact with your partner. In these cases, masturbation, accompanied or not by remote erotic games, is the most interesting option to turn to.
